Testing The Waters
by reira-sama
Summary: In life, you've got to expect the unexpected, prepare for the worst, and to save yourself the hurt - keep your distance. At least that had always been Mamoru Tachibana's motto. Although, when she's sent to live with her mother's side of the family after an unfortunate accident, that theory is put up to test. Self Insert, OC. Haru/OC/Rin.
1. Chapter 1

**Testing The Waters**

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**Prologue**

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If you were to ask me to elaborate on exactly what had happened, I wouldn't be able to answer completely -mostly because it had happened so fast.

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_Too_ _fast_.

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So fast sometimes I questioned if it really happened, though that was a stupid assumption, it did happen, and I had the scars to prove it. For the time being, I could only nitpick vague details of my experience. In a straight forward, direct explanation of what I recalled, I was in a _car_ _crash_, with my mother behind the wheel and I in the back seat.

It had been dark out -an obvious factor when describing nighttime- we had just exited the movie theater, seeing that new movie about casinos and Leonardo DeCaprio. My mom had wanted to see it, and it might be considered weird, but I thoroughly enjoyed going to the movies with my mom. Not only did I not have to pay, but my mother and I had an invaluable bond, and our personalities meshed, even though we did bud heads on occasion. She pulled out of the drive way, prideful of the new car she had bought only a month ago. Being a single parent did limit some of the luxuries in life like expensive new technology and shiny new cars, but we were patient -for the most part- and even if it took 5 years, we'd save the money and get it if we really wanted it. A trait I had always admired of my mother, I'd reluctantly admit.

My mother was chatting about the movie, me silently listening and adding my own opinions once and awhile. In the distance, a car swerved into the opposite lane.

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_Our lane._

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My mother cursed under her breath just as she noticed it, the headlights bright and the mobile steadily approaching at an uncontrollable pace that involuntarily screamed drunk drivers. My mother jerked the wheel to the left, trying to avoid contact, but lady luck was not on our side. That SUV crashed into our BMW, the collision shocking, powerful and _traumatizing_. The front of the car disfigured with the crash, and the windows cracked or shattered, the airbags popping to life. I barely had time to breathe, to react before something smacked me hard in the forehead, my vision exploding into a white haze. Screaming- shrill, ugly and loud was ringing in my ears, and that's when I realized it.

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_That screaming was me._

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* * *

I wasn't able to attend the funeral.

Not only because I was on strict bed rest for a week or so, but because something in me urged me not to.

I _couldn't_.

The motivation to see my mother get buried six feet under was next to none.

I just wanted to _forgetforgetforget_. My grandmother had yelled at me to go, that I needed to go and pay my respects. I needed to stop being so self-absorbed and realize that just like I had lost a mother, she had lost a daughter. Though I did not deny it, I still didn't go.

In the end, my gran left me alone, mad and upset, but I knew she would get over it someday.

Apparently my mother's face was so mutilated by the crash that my family members requested a closed casket. It also turned out I had brain damage. 20 stitches that sowed up the deep gash above my temple. That '_something_' that had knocked me out was a fragment of glass embedded into my skull, a miracle I survived really. I had lost the first six years of my life. When I thought about it, it really wasn't that much of a big deal. I once heard children started really remembering shit by the age of 4, so in reality I had only lost 2 years of my life, that of which I bet probably wasn't even important in the first place.

It's not like I had discovered the cure to cancer within the span of 4 to 6 anyway.

The doctors had decided that I was to come back to a local hospital every two weeks to check up on my development. It was also to see if any more side effects to my minor brain damage surfaced. The doctors say I may become dizzy more often and some other things I had only half the mind to listen into. For the time being, I was to live with my legal guardian, which consequently lives in a small town in freaking _Japan_.

_Yippee_.

They had also attended the funeral, and were planning to pick me up by the end of the week so I could travel half way across the world with them.

_Double_ Yippee.

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**A/N: I said I wouldn't! _I said I wouldn't_! But even I am a slave to temptation..! Anyhow this is the prologue. Chapter one coming up next! Stay tuned!**

**I'm sure this is as angsty as it would get in this story(hopefully!)**

**I feel like I shouldn't have started so dark and.. stuff, because then you wouldn't really get proper insight in this OC's personality and decide if you liked her or not. And I didn't want her to come off as whiny either, but.. Well, please tell me what you think! Please Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/n: Mamoru means Earth or 'To Protect'. **

**Born: April 30th.**

**Sign: Taurus**

**Height: 5'4**

**Appearance: Green eyes, black/dark hair**

**Age: 16**

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**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 1**

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"Your cousin is coming to stay with you?!" Nagisa boasted, excited and curious.

Makoto chuckled a little nervously, nodding at the blonde's accusation. Rei cleared his throat, attention focusing on him. "Who is she?"

"Her name's Mamoru, I haven't seen her since I was seven -until her mother and her had moved to America." He smiled fondly.

"Mamoru," Haruka repeated.

"Ah~?" Nagisa started. "Do you know her, Haru-chan?"

Makoto smiled. "You remember her Haru-chan?"

Haru nodded, taking another of bite of his lunch. Rei turned to Makoto. "Why is she staying with you senpai?"

Makoto looked mildly uncomfortable, gaining Haru's attention. "Her mother unexpectedly passed away, so she is to stay with us. My parents both flew out to the funeral, I had to stay behind and take care of Ren and Ran." He explained. "They should be coming around 6 today." He added with a thoughtful expression.

"I wanna meet Mako-chan's little cousin!" Nagisa claimed after a beat of silence.

Makoto chuckled, but before he could answer, Rei added in, "I would also like to meet Makoto-senpai's cousin!"

"Haru?" Makoto started after a second. Haruka nodded, silently agreeing that he would be coming over as well.

* * *

I felt a bit guilty for ignoring them so blatantly, but they were surprisingly understanding. They understood that it was a bit overwhelming, suddenly changing countries, schools, and maybe even religions in the span of a mere week. The language barrier wasn't something I was concerned of, especially considering I was rather fluent in Japanese, but more so the aspect of rapid change was worrisome. I was so used to my usual routine, to have it ripped away so suddenly- to have my _mother_ ripped away, along with my first memories- was numbing. I had never thought 'what would I do if my mother wasn't there', so the transition was rather shocking, leaving confused **_on what am I going to do now?_**. That didn't change the fact that I had no control over it, so I decided to bear with it for the time being.

My stitches were irritating. They were covered by a thick white patch, in case it started to bleed again, which it did at least once everyday. The reattaching issue itched uncontrollably, but for the sake of it properly healing, I could not relieve the agitated flesh. Most likely I'd worsen it's already fucked up condition. Unfortunately, my bangs were short enough to properly cover the bandage just above my left temple, so the covered injury was prominent and in sight of random pedestrians.

My Aunt and Uncle were warm, welcoming and friendly. Though a bit suffocating at the most. Their overtly concerned nature was annoying, but I couldn't tell them that, because for the most part, I kind of _liked_ being babied by them and the gesture was heart warming. I was polite when they asked me questions, but the car ride to the airport was mostly silent, the likely cause being that I had my headphones propped in and blazing into my eardrums.

This way I wouldn't hear my own thoughts.

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_My own mind was driving me crazy._

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We had gotten coach, all of us seated in the same row. My uncle, my mother's brother, had a kind smile and the signature Tachibana green eyes as he told me stories of him and his sister when they were younger.

Aware of my memory loss, he had informed me that I was actually born and raised -until I was 6- in the town we were heading to now. I was surprised, engulfed in his story-telling. He knew me as a baby, and I would often come over to play with his eldest son when I was old enough to. I felt a little bit at ease. At least their would be _some_ familiarity in my new home, though I could not recall it.

The flight was long and, for the most part, _boring_. The flight took the entire day, but we had managed to get there the next day around 6 in the afternoon. I was exhausted, and I could tell my relatives were as well. Flying across the country was such a hassle, that was for sure.

My Aunt fished out her keys, inserting it into the lock before finally prying it open. My uncle sighed in relief as he and I hauled (I insisted I pick up my own weight) in our belongings, mostly mine. Instantaneously, piercing, loud and childish voices rang, calling out "Mommy and Daddy!" simultaneously. I cringed.

_Oh yeah_, they had kids.

That detail was confirmed when I caught sight of the young twins. Their names escaped me. They both had brunette hair that strangely looked a bit green, along with their bright green eyes, the male of the two having brown eyes. One female, the other male, both equally annoying with their hollering and childish greetings. My uncle smiled at me encouragingly when the two kids focus their attention on me.

"Who's she, daddy?" The girl chimed in curiously.

My Uncle answered lightly. "That's your cousin, she's going to be living with us for now on. Her name's Mamoru!"

"Mamoru?!" The boy gasped. "That's a boys name!"

Amused with his surprise, though embarrassed by the truth, I sighed. "Yeah," I confirmed. "But that just means I'm awesome." I shrugged. They both seemed amazed at my answer, and I rose an eyebrow. They mimicked my impassive face, slouching as well. "We're awesome too." They said in unison. I grinned a bit. Alright, that was sort of cute, with a hint of weird. I kicked off my shoes and entered the foyer, turning to my Uncle. "Where to I put this?" I asked.

"Ah!" He fumbled a bit. "Makoto!" He called. I blinked. He had a daughter?

My accusation was corrected when my eyes fell upon a rather tall, masculine older boy. He had soft droopy green eyes and that strange green-brown hair that tousled when he walked. His eyes settled on me, greeting me with a warm look. I imitated the gesture out of politeness, though mine probably looked a bit strained.

"Can you show Mamoru-chan to her room?" Makoto nodded and motioned me to follow him. Upon him seeing my luggage and heavy baggage, he offered to lift the weight. I declined, saying that I was fine without help. It might've been stubborn of me, but Makoto didn't complain.

"I hope you're fine with the guest room. It's not all the big, but.."

"It's fine." I answered quickly. To be quite honest, I was just glad to be out of that horrid hospital room.

"How.. have you been Mamoru-chan?" He seemed hesitant to ask.

I looked a bit confused. We've met? Ah, that's right. Uncle said something about me playing with his eldest son when I was younger. I'm surprised he remembered, though it should've been expected. We walked to a door down the hallway. I'm guessing that was my room for the time being. "Fine." I eventually answered vaguely. "Thank you for bringing me here." I said with a stiff, fake smile. I turned to the door, placing one bag to the floor before awkwardly opening it.

"Ah! Mamo-chan?" I twitched at the nickname. "My friends are here, and when they heard my cousin was coming to live here, they were wondering if they could meet you. Haru-chan is here also!" Who the hell is Haru-chan? Is that his girlfriend or something?

I blinked a few times. "Uh.." How do I put it to him gently that I wanted to sleep without seeming like a conniving bitch? Then again, he brought his friends all the way here to see me, not to mention I was a bit hungry. Worried with my silence, Makoto waved his hands. "That is, if you don't want too-" Okay now I feel like a jackass. I sighed. "Yeah, sure."

We entered the living room, and to my surprise, both my Aunt, Uncle and little cousins retired to their rooms. Three boys sat on the ground, gathered around a low table. I stared at each of them awkwardly.

"You must be Mako-chan's little cousin! I'm Nagisa Hazuki!" A perky, hyperactive blonde grinned. I blinked, offering a tight smile. "Hi."

My eyes flickered to a blue haired male, red-framed glasses adorning his handsome face. "I am Rei Ryugazaki." I smiled at him, finding myself a little less awkward greeting him. "Mamoru Tachibana."

"Mamoru is a boyish name, huh?" Nagisa exclaimed, grin still in place.

"Well Nagisa is a girl name, bud." I countered, staring at him with half lidded eyes. Makoto chuckled, and I finally turned to the last boy in the room. I had felt his stare the entire time, so I decided humor him. Surprisingly, I found him the easiest to approach. "So, who're you?" I greeted with an easy going smile. I think I had said something wrong, because I was suddenly engulfed with awkward silence. The quietness stretched out longer and I shifted, my eyes looking around. "Uh.." I blinked. "This is usually when you say your name.."

"Mamo-chan, do you really not remember Haru?" Makoto asked. I blinked again.

"Uhm.." I started, feeling myself turn sheepish. What was I supposed to say to _that_? Well, turns out I didn't need to say anything anyway, because the nameless boy stood up, promptly leaving the room.

"Haru!" Makoto called in surprise, following the boy out. My lips thinned. Was that my fault? Ah geez. Well this is an uncomfortable situation. I turned to Nagisa and Rei, who were staring off in the direction my cousin and the boy left off to worriedly before glancing at each other. Nagisa smiled at me reassuringly, noticing my discomfort. Rei finally seemed to take notice of the patch of white over my eyebrow.

"What happened?" He asked. "If you don't mind me asking," He added as an afterthought.

"Ah." I blinked, my fingers brushing over the bandage tentatively. Somehow, I felt incredibly embarrassed on admitting my brain damage. "Bumped my head against a table when I fell."

"That must've hurt!" Nagisa gasped. I stared at him.

"No, actually, it felt like I landed on a pile of pillows." Nagisa seemed amused of my sarcastic nature, because he laughed.

"For being related to Mako-chan, you two are really different!" Rei seemed to agree, a small smile tugging at his lips. I smiled too, though it was less genuine and more instinctive. "Probably," I shrugged. Not wanting to be burdened with another awkward silence, I hefted myself to my feet. "I'm going to sleep." I explained at their looks. "Bye." They both wished with a polite goodnight as I left.

Entering my new room, I sighed, feeling as if I just set down the weight on my shoulders for the evening. I let my face fall with exhaustion and other darker emotions, slipping off my socks and crawling into my new bed.

_New, new, new._

Everything is so new and foreign. Including the people.

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_Mom_

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I let out a shaky sigh, burying my emotions.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/n: Please review! Somewhat fluffy Makoto-Mamoru bonding ahead. **

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 2**

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The next day was more or less uneventful. My Aunt and Uncle were at work, my little cousins at school, including Makoto. I was to register to school tomorrow, upon my request. My Uncle agreed, so long as I registered before the end of the week. Today I was merely enjoying my quiet afternoon, the silence soothing my erratic emotions. I haven't had the proper chance to mourn the death of my mother, instead acting as if everything was fine. Somehow, having a mental break down in another's home seemed a bit unnerving and didn't quite sit well with me. What if someone were to walk in me crying? I had a resolve; to only cry when I was sure I was alone- usually that was the bathroom, where I could lock the door.

Unusually, after listening to music for about 3 hours straight, I was bored. I slipped on my shoes, pulled on a sweater, and decided to explore my new surroundings. Walking out of the small house, I pulled the grey sweater around me tighter. I blinked before smiling a bit.

The ocean was _right_ _there_.

I picked up my pace, walking down the street and towards the sea of blue. I decided take off my shoes, including my socks when I arrived, letting my toes sink in and curl against the cool sand. My lips twitched upwards, but the smile faded quickly. A hoard of emotions making me feel barricaded.

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_Dammit._

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I gulped thickly, fat tears collecting at the corner of my eyes. I wiped them away with the end of my sleeve, a heavy sigh gusting from my chapped lips. I stared at the far off waves, my throat closing up, my face flushing a warm red as I suppressed the urge to scream and cry at the same time. Finally, my shoulders sagged, tension leaving my form. I don't know how long I was standing there, probably looking like a psychotic idiot to bystanders, but I wasn't in any rush. Finally, I heard a vaguely familiar voice.

"Mamo-chan?!" I flinched out of my thoughtless daze. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing out here! Ah, are you alright?"

My eyes focused on my cousin's green concerned gaze, a red scarf wrapping around my neck, warming my cold cheeks. I blinked a few times.

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_Oh yeah._

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I sighed once, offering my cousin a strained smile that cost me more effort than it should have. "Hey, Makoto-san." I greeted. He looked at me weirdly, as if trying to pinpoint what exactly was wrong with me. Before he could look any deeper, I took a step back, untying the warm scarf around my neck- a kind gesture I was thankful of, but no longer needed. It was _his_ scarf after all. I handed to him, which he took with questioning eyes.

"You were shivering." He explained.

I smiled. "Thanks. Don't worry, I'm going in now."

He watched me carefully. "Mamo-chan, how is it that you don't remember Haru-chan?"

I blinked. "Who?"

"Haru-chan! Haruka Nanase." He explained, looking a bit worried. I fumbled. It's not like I could outright tell him that I had brain damage. "I guess he's not as memorable as you think, then." I answered with an awkward laugh. His face fell. "Are you _sure_? You and him were fairly close."

I could feel my patience ware thin upon this pressure. I didn't know what to say. What was I _supposed_ to say? This entire situation was awkward. Should I tell him that I didn't remember _him_ as well? That I had lost my first memories of life? "Uh.. Makoto-san, I don't understand what's going on. I honestly don't know who this 'Haruka Nanase' is, and I'm sorry. It was a long time ago anyway, right? What does the past really matter?"

Makoto looked defeated. A spark in his eyes appeared as if he wanted to argue more, but the look on my face set things aside for a different time. Suddenly, he asked something that cornered me. "Do you remember me too? All the times we were together?"

"Uh.." I felt myself chuckled nervously, my face fading into a sheepish grin. "Well... _no_." He sighed, looking like a kicked puppy. Alright, _now_ I felt like a jackass. Out of guilt, I swallowed my pride.

"Makoto-san," I started. He raised his dejected look. I reached to the bandage covering my ugly, swollen wound. I winced, slowly peeling it off. I heard a gasp and recognized it as my cousin's. I felt the weight of his stare. I wasn't ready to talk about it, but I forced myself anyway.

"I.. I-um.. I have brain damage." I stated, my vocabulary shaky, my voice trembling. "I was in the car with my mother when it happened. A.. a piece of glass from the window shield got stuck in my head." -I chuckled out of nervous habit-"Got diagnosed with amnesia- memory loss. So.. uh.. I-I can't remember anything past the age 6. Sorry." I felt the hot wetness formulate in my eyes and wiped them away, bottling my emotions to confront another time. I sniffled a bit, now aware of how much I miss my memories. My eyes were focusing on the sand.

"Mamoru.." Makoto's voice coaxed. I glanced at him, surprised to see an intense gaze directed at me. He placed his hands on my shoulders. "I'm glad you survived, even if it cost you your memories."

I blinked a few times before forcing out a false smile. "Thank you." I nodded. Makoto hesitated.

"We have to tell Haru," He bit out. "He thinks you don't remember him out of your own choice."

"I'd appreciate it if you keep this to yourself, cousin." I spoke firmly. "I told you I don't know who Haruka is, so he has no business knowing mine."

"But-" He started, his expression desperate.

I shook my head. "Please respect my wishes."

He swallowed thickly, letting out a sad sigh. "Mamo-chan.."

I looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed. "Makoto-san..?" I bit my lip. "You don't have to.. but.. can you -uh- tell me what things were like when you knew me?"

Makoto blinked before smiling, his expression surprisingly fond. "Alright, let's go home then."

* * *

"What!" I gaped. "You're lying! _I would never_-!"

Makoto chuckled. "You were five then!" He smiled. I found myself laughing a bit as well, despite my embarrassment. Who would've thought that I had walked out of my bath butt-naked into the living room because I left my rubber ducky on the coffee table, _when there were guests present. _Makoto, only a year older than me, had to wrap a towel around me and drag me out and back into the bathroom.

Makoto had a thoughtful look on his face. "There was also this one time that you asked why dogs sniff each other's bum, so I told you it was because they wanted to get to know each other-" He paused, chuckling a bit as I dreaded the moment. "You went up to my dad and sniffed his butt, in front of everyone."

I facepalmed. Makoto smiled. "Then you started crying because you couldn't smell like a dog." I groaned.

"I was.. an embarrassing child.. wasn't I?" I murmured.

"Oh!" He jolted. "One moment." He left the living room, returning five minutes later with a large book that I guessed was a photo album. He flipped it open to a random page, a picture of two little boys and a girl in the middle. The girl had frizzy curls pulled into two pink-tails, bright green eyes and a weird face plastered. She was slightly on the heavier side, her grin so wide it looked crazy. Beside her was a blank faced boy, dark hair and light eyes, cute and standing next to the girl. On the other side was a young Makoto, a smile that indicated he was laughing previously- probably at the girl's crazy face, I mused.

"Is that..?" Makoto nodded, laughing softly. "I should've laid off the candy as a kid." I said blankly. Makoto smiled. "You were cute." I looked over at him, finding myself comfortable enough to crack a joke. "_Were_?" He chuckled, deciding to humor me. "Still are." He corrected. My face got hot, mostly at the serenity in his voice that made me embarrassed. I grinned anyway, staring at the picture. "Hey!" I blinked. "That was the guy from before!"

"Haru?" Makoto offered, his eyes watching me. "Yeah, him." I murmured, my fingers running over the child's impassive face. "How'd I meet him?" I asked instead, seemingly mesmerized by the photo I didn't remember being taken.

"Well," He chuckled nervously.

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"Mamo-chan, this is my best friend, Haru-chan!" A young, 6 year-old Makoto beamed.

The girl behind him, whose hair was pinned up in two buns at each side of her head narrowed her green eyes at the new male. The dark haired boy regarded her with a blank face. "Nice to meet you." Even his voice was blank. Mamoru huffed, latching herself onto Makoto's arm.

"I don't like you!" She said from behind the taller Makoto. Her cousin blinked in confusion. "Mamo-chan! That isn't nice!"

"I don't care!" She said, her arms clasping possessively over her cousin, glaring at the other boy. "Only **_I_ **can be with Mako-chan!"

Haruka raised an eyebrow, still silent. Makoto fumbled with his words before finally turning to his cousin. "Mamo-chan," He said softly. "Haru-chan is my best friend," At seeing the girl tear up, he quickly added. "But Mamo-chan is still my best cousin."

Mamoru seemed to mull over his words before sniffling. "Forever and ever?" Makoto grinned. "Forever and ever and ever!" Mamoru beamed before sending a nasty look over at Haruka.

"I still don't like you!" She huffed. "But you can borrow Mako-chan." She added after a moment.

Makoto sighed. Haru blinked.

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"ARGH!" I flushed, holding my burning face in my hands. "You make me seem like-_like-!_ Please tell me your lying." I eventually groaned.

Makoto laughed, patting my head. "Not at all. You still didn't like Haru-chan for another week before you started warming up to him."

I sighed, the sound heavy and loud. "I really _was_ an embarrassing kid." Not to mention chubby.

"Your intentions were good," He smiled.

I looked away, "Thank you for telling me about the past," I smiled at him, feeling myself close up. "I'm gonna go to my room. See you." Makoto seemed momentarily confused of my sudden change in attitude, before smiling automatically. "A-alright! Oh, Mamo-chan?" I paused to look back at him. "Are you registering at Iwatobi?" I blinked. "Well, it's the closest school near here.." I offered as an explanation.

"Well," He started. "I can walk you there in the morning, if you'd like?"

"Oh.. sure." I said a bit awkwardly. Makoto smiled again. It almost seemed like he never ran out of them. While mine was mostly fake or instinctively out of politeness, his were warm and genuine, which was admirable in itself.

Entering my room, I sighed, flopping onto the plush bed, staring at the ceiling. My eyelids fluttered closed. For some reason, I had a feeling that I was extremely close to Makoto in my younger days, which was reasonable considering how much he knew about me, and how supposedly possessive I was of him.

That night, I dreamt of faceless blurs, playing scenes like a theater. When I woke, I couldn't recall it, but somehow I knew it was of a locked memory.

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_"Forever and ever?"_

_"Forever and ever and ever!" _

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/n: _Please_ review! We got some Haru interaction!**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 3**

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I awoke to Makoto's gentle voice, prying me out of my dreams. Groggily, I stared up at him, blinking a bit before grumbling under my breath. "5 minutes.."

I heard a sigh. "School starts in 30 minutes and we still need to get Haru." He explained. I groaned, throwing an arm over my eyes. "In 5 minutes."

"I'll give you 5 more minutes." He relented after a pause of contemplation, his voice sounding more firm.

What felt like a second later, I felt him shaking me awake. "It was not 5 minutes!" I protested. "Yes, it was." He argued. "I'll leave you behind Mamo-chan," He got me there. I sighed, sitting up. "Fine." I was not a morning person, the grouchy tone to my hoarse voice a dead giveaway. Makoto chuckled, seemingly amused as he waited for me to get ready. I grabbed a random set of clothes, not caring it they matched or not before disappearing behind the door of the bathroom. When I exited, Makoto was already fully dressed in uniform, glancing profusely at his watch. I grumbled something, slipping on my shoes on and throwing a bag over my shoulder that held all my rightful information.

"Let's go, Makoto-san." I alerted him, causing him to sigh in relief.

"Do you always take this long?" He commented half-jokingly, walking out the door with me.

"I go at my own pace." I shrugged. "We still have enough time anyway."

"We have to get Haru-chan as well!" He protested, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Who." I teased. Makoto sent me a look, a cross between concerned and confused, and I surprised myself by laughing a little. "I'm joking!" I said, Makoto sighed.

It wasn't long until we arrived, climbing a set of cemented stairs, which was too long and steep if you asked me. Makoto knocked the door, waiting a minute before rounding the back door, motioning me to follow him. I felt slightly uncomfortable. "I'll wait out here." I said, waving my hands in a gesture to go on. Makoto paused before nodding, entering the back. I sighed. Makoto may know Haru-or Haruka? well enough to barge into his home uninvited, but _I_ certainly didn't, and I felt I was invading his privacy if I did enter without permission. It took a total of 15 minutes or so before the front door slid open, two familiar forms in the door way.

"I hope you weren't waiting too long, Mamo-chan!" Makoto smiled nervously, sensing the tension that was thick in the air. How could you miss it? Apparently I had a past friendship with someone I didn't remember. I could only imagine this Haru guy's feelings. Probably resentment. Then again, wasn't it long ago? A regular person would've either forgot without the additional brain damage, or simply didn't care. Past friendships were in the _past_, right? A contradicting feeling of anxiety fizzled in my abdomen, telling me different- that the relationship I had held with both Makoto and Haruka were _direly_ important.

Haruka wasn't looking at me, which slightly irked me, though not enough to make me do anything about it. I shrugged the emotion off, smiling at Makoto, pretending as if I hadn't notice the air of bitter resentment. "No, only a couple of minutes." I lied, stretching a smile so tight it was quite obvious it was as fake as Barbie tits at this moment.

"We should get going, so we're not late, right Haru?" Makoto smiled at his best friend. Haru's light eyes, that were rather pretty, flickered to my cousin's, ignoring me totally.

"Yeah," The other boy nodded. They started walking in another direction, making me feel left out. I sighed, dejectedly staring at the ground. Makoto seemed to have sensed my feelings, because he smiled back at me reassuringly. "Come on, Mamo-chan." I swallowed thickly, nodding and trailing behind, albeit awkwardly. Makoto started chatting with Haru, despite the latter rarely answering. He was just _so_ _quiet_. Which I realized bitterly that it might've been my presence alone that had caused such tension. Such tension that was being smoothed out by Makoto's gentle voice. I decided to keep quiet, as to not disturb everyone's somewhat peaceful morning any more than I had.

"I hope it gets warmer so you can go swimming." Makoto smiled, to which Haru looked away. I found it odd, but substantially sweet that my older cousin had supposedly read Haru's thoughts. It was probably the result of such a longstanding friendship they've sustained. I felt a bit jealous. Jealous that they could trust each other thoughtlessly, never doubting the other of their loyalty, yet still maintain an easygoing air with each other. I sighed, unaware of how loud it was, drawing the attention of both males. I flushed when I felt their stares, one concerned, the other blank.

"Are you alright, Mamo-chan? Does your head hurt?" Haru flicked a questioning glance over at my cousin, as if asking what he meant by that. Makoto blinked and I felt the need to groan. Did he not hear of the term _discreet_? "She bumped her head this morning," He explained shortly, saving the day. Haru seemed to buy it, because he looked over at the patch of white on my forehead intently. If I knew him better, I'd might even say there was a little concern directed at my bandage.

"I'm _fine_, Makoto-san." I reassured, subconsciously brushing my fingers over my wound. Haru might've took my tone as something less than polite, because his narrowed eyes sharpened. "Then why do you have a bandage." It sounded more of a statement.

"_Someone's_ sassy." I muttered under my breath, certain they didn't hear me. "It's for precautions." I gave him a fake smile, to which his frown deepened at that. Unlike Makoto, I couldn't read this boy, so I was mildly confused at the simple changes in his features, but I _did_ notice them. Makoto pin-balled a look of concern from Haru to me to Haru again.

"Come on, we should get going if we don't want to be late." Makoto urged. I hadn't even noticed I stopped, Haru too- who was turned to fully face me. Accepting that excuse, we silently agreed to move forward towards the school in the distance.

.

We entered the school, and Makoto offered to bring me to the office, so I may properly register. Surprisingly, Haru had tagged along silently, now and then I'd feel his impeccable stare on my back. Inexplicably, the urge to tell Haru about my head injury was a silent whisper at the back of my mind, which I couldn't decipher the reason _why_. He wasn't family, and blood was thicker than water, nor was I obligated to tell him anything, he wasn't my family doctor. I settled the temporary reason as sympathy. I mean, here was this guy that remembered me from a time that just caused me a headache to even think about. It was like a scene out of a bad romance movie. Again, these were just thoughts. Thoughts that would stay in my head, because the reality of it was their _just thoughts_.

"..amo-chan? Mamo-chan!" Makoto's voice zapped me out of my reverie. I blinked. My cousin was staring at me with concern, Haru was staring at me at an angle I couldn't see, but could feel. I waved off Makoto's stare. "Just daydreaming, is all." I explained. I didn't want to sound conceited, but Makoto's concern seemed to have harvested off my memory loss. Maybe he thought I was going to completely loose my memories and wander off confused as to why I was in Japan and what was my name. I chuckled at the thought, which caused both Makoto and Haru to glance at each other.

"Do you want to go home?" He asked. "You could register tomorrow?" He spoke to me like I was a child, which I found both sweet but degrading at the same time. I sighed. "I'm _perfectly_ _fine_, Makoto-san." He hesitated, and I found myself furrowing my eyebrows.

"Your head is bleeding." Haru supplied.

I blinked. Makoto's eyes fixated on the blotch of red staining through my bandage. He gasped in panic, his droopy warm eyes wide with shock. "We-we have to get you to the hospital!" He half-yelled. "What if your stitches opened?! Mamo-chan! How many fingers do you see?!" He held up four longer fingers. I blinked again, almost amused of my cousin's concern. Haru's expression was alarmed now. "Stitches?" He repeated, his usually dull voice tinted in disbelief. His eyes were on me, and I groaned.

"_Thank_ _you_ Makoto-san." I bit out, my voice dripping in sarcasm. Makoto seemed to have realized his mistake, before turning full on momma-mode.

"That shouldn't matter right now!" He pressed. "Let's get you to the hospital!"

It took me a few minutes of trying to speak before I finally got my relative to _calm_ _the_ _hell_ _down_. "Makoto-san," I sighed. "It's fine. The doctors warned me that it might bleed once in awhile. All I need to do is go to the infirmary, get rubbing alcohol, clean it, then patch it up again. _It's alright_." Makoto stared at me, wanting the argue, before sighing. Obviously I was much more calm than him, and that seemed to sedate his frantic mood.

.

We arrived in the infirmary, luckily the nurse let us use the room. "Here you are," The old nurse smiled, handing me a fresh band-aid and rubbing alcohol. I returned the smile politely, before turning to Makoto. "Uh..." I hesitated. "Where's the bathroom?"

Makoto smiled. "I'll do it for you." He offered. I felt myself flush, but nodded anyway. This way, I knew Haru would get a full glance at my stitches, but I wasn't concerned at the moment. I handed Makoto the rubbing alcohol, which he took gently. I peeled off the bandage, tossing it in the garbage bin. He cleaned around the wound, speaking softly. "Sorry for overreacting."

"It's fine." I said automatically. "It was kind of funny anyway." I smiled.

Makoto chuckled nervously. "Was it?"

I mimicked Makoto's face, holding four fingers up. "How much fingers do you see?!" I imitated jokingly. Haru snorted, and Makoto laughed a little. I laughed as well, feeling myself relaxing before tensing up in pain, my face scrunching up as the alcohol seeped into the wound. "_Sa-sa-sa_! _Eck_!" I hissed out a slur of gibberish as I waited for the pain to fade. Makoto apologized frantically and it took me another moment to convince him that it just stung is all.

"What happened, Mamoru?" His voice is what sent a jolt of surprise down my spine. I glanced over at my cousin's best friend, shifting uncomfortably. Makoto seemed to shuffled in sheepishness as he placed the fresh bandage on my forming scar. I swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry, Mamo-chan." Makoto apologized. I sighed. Haru was waiting patiently at my side, and whether it be out of pure selfishness or immaturity, which essentially went hand in hand, I looked away in defiance.

I rubbed the space under my nose in an arrogant manner, I huffed. "I'm not telling."

* * *

Makoto sighed when he saw Haru's eyebrow twitch, his best friend's features tightening in annoyance. His cousin, Mamoru, still looked away in a snooty manner, most likely on purpose.

"Mamo-chan.." Makoto started, his voice trailing off. Mamoru looked over at the older boy, her eyes so intense it surprised him. "I'm going to the office." She explained. "Alone." She added, when she saw both boys stand. Makoto sighed as he watched his relative walk out calmly. He turned to Haru, who was still staring after his cousin's back, one eyebrow raised. To anyone else, it might've looked like Haru was still blank-faced, though Makoto could tell that he was irritated.

"Don't blame her, Haru-chan." He tried to reassure. "Mamo-chan is just a bit defensive, is all."

Haru glanced over at the taller male. "What happened, Makoto?" He tried again.

Makoto's expression turned grim. "I don't think it's my place to say, Haru-chan."

Haru's face changed, staring off at the empty space Mamoru had occupied moments ago. No matter the amount of convincing, those stitches were simply not from bumping one's head. A blind man could tell anyone that. Deciding to leave the topic until he saw Mamoru again, Haru started out the door, Makoto following close behind.

"Drop the 'chan'."

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	5. Chapter 5

**A/n: In enters Rin! Whee! PLEASE REVIEW! I'd like to get some feedback, know what I'm doing wrong/what I'm doing right/things I can improve on?**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 4**

* * *

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Rin blinked the drowsiness from his eyes, having just rouse from sleep. His phone's screen was blinking on, a new text from Gou he didn't bother to reply to. He stretched his taut muscles, his auburn eyes tearing up as he yawned deeply. He rose from his bunk bed, gaze skimming over his roommate's sleeping form. He decided on a quick run, since it was so early, and everyone seemed dead asleep at this hour.

Outside, the air was fresh and quiet, calming in itself. Non-surprisingly, the redhead's mind was reeling with thoughts, more specifically, they were revolving around the past again. A memory came to mind, one he had spontaneously dreamt of shortly ago.

.

The air seemed too dull, so _numbing_. It had been a month since his father's death, yet the pain was just as crucial as it was then as it is now. His mind was swarming, as it always was since his father ceased to exist. Gou was at home, with mother - he mused. He had decided to run out for a bit, blow off some steam - though in the end, he had only walked until he found a stiff bench. He wasn't complaining although, he believed quiet solace was rather needed right now.

The wood underneath his bottom creaked, causing him to glance at the one sitting beside him. He assessed the area, empty benches seemed to scatter everywhere, yet this person plopped beside _him_. He found himself glaring at the person, who was actually a young girl. Her short legs dangling over the edge of the bench aimlessly. She was wearing boy shorts and a boy's t-shirt, and if it weren't for the two buns at each side of her head, he would've mistaken her for a boy. Her eyes were wide and doe-like, reminding him of a calm deer- which was a rather strange feature considering someone of Japanese heritage. She was blatantly staring at him, the iris of her eyes a forest green, flecks of lighter green surrounding her pupils. Rin stared back. Usually he would be overly friendly and cheery, but unfortunately for this girl, she caught him in a bad mood.

"What are _you_ looking at." He meant to scare her off, but his tone didn't dampen her mood. She only blinked, as if trying to figure out the meaning herself. Finally she smiled at him, looking proud of her answer. "I'm looking at you!"

He rose an eyebrow. She was either oblivious, stupid, or mocking him. "Well _don't_." He snapped.

She blinked again, not intimidated in the slightest. She fished something out of her pocket. It was a packet of gum. "Want some?"

"No!" He shouted, annoyed by the mere presence of this irritating girl.

"Why not?" She tilted her head, looking confused. "Don't you like gum? It's _fruity_."

"I do-!" He paused, rewording his next words. "But I don't want any from you!"

"Why are you shouting?" She asked innocently. Rin flushed, realizing he was the only one worked up, the other girl oozing an aura of calmness. He settled in his seat, not looking at the little girl any longer. "That's prejujudes." She said after a minute.

"What?" He glanced over at her, expression incredulous.

"Prejujudes!" She repeated.

He thought for a minute. "_Prejudice_?"

"Yeah, that!" She laughed it off. Rin snorted. "Do you even know what prejudice means?"

"Well, no." She admitted. "Do you?" He realized that she was being serious.

"..."

She sighed dramatically, as if deeply disappointed. Rin took offense and glared. "Why are you here anyway?"

"I like sitting here." She said simply. "It's comfy on my butt."

"..."

"..."

"Are you stupid?" He asked suddenly.

She blinked rapidly. "That's mean."

"..."

Awkward silence. "So, what's wrong?" She asked after a minute.

"H-huh?" Rin was caught off guard. "What makes you think something's wrong?!"

"Nothing." She smiled at him knowingly, which he didn't like at all. "If I tell you something about myself, you tell me why you're sad, okay?"

Rin stopped, staring at the girl dumbly. When his shoulder's sank an inch, she took that as his consent. "Hm.." She chew on her bottom lip. "Ah! Well, last month my daddy left me and mommy for his job in Toko. Mommy says he's not coming back for a long time." Her grin never faltered. Rin didn't bother correcting her mistake on 'Tokyo'. With an upbeat chirp, the nameless girl stared at him openly. "Your turn!"

"Ah!-" Rin hesitated, still staring at the girl. He looked off in the distance, his eyes darkening. "My.. dad died.." He eventually spat out. It was silent between the two. The girl didn't offer any words of comfort, yet he was oddly okay with that. He didn't need a flurry of jumbled apologizes from someone he barely knew. The silence stretched out for another 5 minutes. Sensing she was about to say something, he looked over at her blankly. She smiled at him. "I'm Mamoru." The name was strangely fitting, despite being male descendant. Then again, it made it a little less awkward saying _his_ name in comparison.

"Rin." He offered with a small smile. It was quickly wiped off when he heard Mamoru release a piggish snort.

"You gotta **_girl's_ **name?!" She teased.

"Well, you have a **_boy's_ **name!" He shouted angrily. Her laughter rose in volume, the sound loud and wild, completely ruining the image he held of her as someone calm and collected. He found himself laughing as well, directly from hearing the strange girl's cackles. The giddy laughter died down eventually, Rin grinning from ear to ear. "You laugh worse than a witch."

She smiled cheekily, still red in the face from all that laughing. She looked like she was going to say something until a voice interrupted her from a distance. "Mamo-chan! _There_ you are!" Hollered a familiar voice. Mamoru jolted, standing up from her seat and throwing a grin over her shoulder. "Bye-bye Rin-_chan_!" She teased. Rin scowled at her, but waved good-bye nonetheless. He watched her run over to a semi-tall boy that looked about his age. He caught his gaze for a moment until Rin looked away, deciding it was finally time to return home. He cringed when he heard the little girl scream at the top of her lungs.

"MAKO-CHAAAN!"

'_Definitely a weird girl_', He thought with a scowl.

.

"Matsuoka-senpai!" Nitori greeted him with a smile. Rin waved an effortless hand, Nitori happy he had gotten a response so early in the morning. It seemed that he had spent most of his time thinking of a useless memory, though consequently time did pass by quicker, and he was now sweaty with the perspiration of his morning run. He never did see that girl again, he thought. It also took him awhile to recognize that other boy as Makoto Tachibana, albeit he was certain his former team member didn't remember him from _that_ specific time, so he never bothered to remind him. Shaking away his thoughts, he got ready for class.

* * *

I was getting my uniform by the weekend, so that meant I was to endure attending a uniformed school for half a week until I got my shit. Luckily by Friday, my stitches were to be removed. I was sure the brief spillage of blood yesterday morning was all I was going to endure for the time being. The flesh surrounding the wound was still freshly tender, as I think it will always be for a longer period of time. I sighed as I skimmed the first couple of songs on my iPod, a shy knock erupting from the other side of my door. I blinked, only half irritated that I was being interrupted during my music time. I rose up from the bed, my headphones hanging loosely around my neck as I opened the door. My two little cousins stood there, shy and fidgeting.

Did I ooze an aura of intimidation or something? I blinked again. "What's up?"

The boy looked up at me, and I scanned over my memory- trying to remember his name. Was it Ren? Or Ran? I'll just wait until one of their parents ask for them, they'd have to say their name one day, right?

"Makoto-nii isn't here yet-" One started.

"-He's at swim practice with Haru-chan!-" The other continued, making me look over to the girl.

"-Can you help us with our homework?" Ren? Ran? finished, holding up a binder stuffed with messy papers.

"_Swim_ practice?" I repeated. My cousin was in a swim club? I shrugged. Oh well, who cares. The twins nodded so much times I was wondering whether they'd get whiplash if they did it enough. I opened my door wider, moving out of the way. They seemed to search for a _voiced_ consent, so I sighed. "What're you standing there for? Come in." I always had the habit of being incredibly blunt with children, for which some reason they seemed to gravitate towards. My cousins scurried in, plopping onto my bed uninvited. My eyebrow twitched, but I didn't say anything. I sat between them, staring blankly. "What do you need help on?" They didn't waste a second before pouncing, whining about math and writing out English letters and short sentences. In conclusion, I ended up spending an hour on both subjects, explaining and elaborating until it got stuck in their heads.

Their grins were blinding when I said, "We're finished." We managed to complete the entirety of this and half of next week's homework, which they were excited for. That meant no homework for them for awhile seeing as they had finished it. I smiled back at them, though it was much more sedated. I got up without warning, exiting the room and directed to the kitchen. They followed immediately. I stopped and looked back. They stopped as well, 6 ft away from where I was. They both had innocent looks on their faces. I blinked, turning around and continuing on my way to the kitchen. I heard footsteps behind me. I looked back. They were 5 ft away from me now, looking as tranquil as they did before. I smirked, starting to walk again when I heard the patting of their small feet. I halted, spinning around so quickly I almost fell.

"AH-_HA_!" I grinned, proud of my victory- which was short-lived. They had both stopped longer before I turned, smiling cutely. I suppressed a growl. I turned around, taking three steps before bursting into a sprint, grinning from ear-to-ear when I heard the thumping of their footsteps chasing after me. I ducked behind a corner, snickering at their confused faces as they looked around.

"Mamo-chan? What's wrong?" I jolted, my head snapping towards the direction of the voice. It took me a minute to realize that I was in the foyer, staring back at Makoto, Haruka a foot behind him.

"Uh.." I blanked. Somehow admitting I was playing a game of tag with two little kids was mildly embarrassing. "Nothing."

"We found you!" Two childish voices squealed behind me, giggling as they tackled me, their weight making my body sink into a crouching position. I impishly grinned in embarrassment, both my cousin and Haru staring openly. Makoto chuckled warmly. "It seems you guys were having fun."

"Haru-chan~!" Both twins cheered in welcome, letting go of me and latching onto the arms of the dark-haired teenager. "Hello." He returned blandly. Ren and Ran bombarded him with questions, asking if he was staying the night and if they could sleep with him. I sighed, feeling rejected of the kids attention. Admittedly they were annoying, but I sort of like their non-faltering attention. I straightened my back, yawning as I rolled my shoulders. I turned around with the intention of returning to my room, though halted when I felt a tug on the hem of my t-shirt.

I looked back, seeing a curious Ren. "What's up?" He beamed. "Nee-chan has to come to!"

"Yeah, yeah!" Ran agreed excitedly. I blinked again. Since when was I labeled 'nee-chan'? Did they forget that I had _only_ helped them with their homework? Makoto smiled. "We were going to go to my room and play video games."

"It's fine." I murmured, feeling as if I was imposing. Ren and Ran whined, complaining loudly. "But _Onee_-chan~!" I'm starting to regret feeling envious of the attention Haru got. "What are you going to do in your room anyway?" Ran whined, her bottom lip puffed in a pout. My eyebrow twitched. "I'm going to listen to music."

"That's boring! Play with us!" Ren pressed. My eyebrow twitched again.

"Now guys.." Makoto started with a sigh. "If she doesn't want to-"

"You might as well come." Haru's voice finally said. "They won't quiet down if you don't."

I glanced over at the two males, Makoto was staring at Haru in slight surprise before the look melted into a smile. My jaw clenched and finally, I resigned. "Fine, whatever." I muttered. "Yay!" Both kids boasted, tugging on each of my arms to Makoto's room.

Note to self: _never help annoying kids with their homework again._

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.

.

**Bonus Scene:**

_"FUCK YEAH!"_ I shouted in English, having finally just won for the first time.

Let me explain, I'm _horrible_ at video games. The fact that I had just won my first race at Mario&Sonic go-carts against everyone after 12 tries was an _accomplishment_. Ren and Ran cheered for me as well, mimicking my words, but badly pronouncing them. In reality they had said "_Fakku_ _ya_!", though I was too busy happy-dancing to really take notice (and Makoto and Haru thankfully weren't fluent in English). "That's what I'm talking about!" I grinned, slapping my knee with a laugh. Makoto chuckled, Haru staring bemusedly at me. "Did you see that?! I was like _whoosh_! You _almost_ beat me! Oh my God, my heart!" I repeatedly bugged Makoto, patting his arm as I bragged about my win. Makoto sighed occasionally, but endured my teasing.

I finally calmed down, feeling incredibly sheepish of actions. For an inexplicable reason, I felt comfortable enough to blatantly reveal my personality to them. Something clicked in my mind. Both Makoto and Haru had beaten me so easily so many times before. Hell, _Ren_ had beat me easily as well!

"..You guys let me win, didn't you?"

"..." Silence. Not even the twins were saying anything.

Makoto laughed nervously. "No, no! You won fair-and-square!"

"You're a horrible liar." I sighed, my shoulder sinking in disappointment.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 5**

* * *

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The first day of school was mildly uncomfortable. I didn't know anyone in any classes, except for one of Makoto's friends, Rei, I think. Even then, he sat at the front, and me at the back, hidden from attention. Student's were staring curiously at me, probably marveling at the fact that they had a new student. Iwatobi was a relatively small town. Newcomers were as rare as they come, especially a transfer from _America_. The district were just as all those anime's I had watched. You get a small locker to put your shoes in, you must stand straight and taller for the morning announcements, and if you're new, you must introduce yourself at the front of the class - which was a bit humiliating if you stumbled over your words like I did.

"Uh.. uhm.." I coughed awkwardly, the stares of my peers intensified in my mind. "I'm Mamoru Tachibana. Uh.. That's it." I glanced at the teacher looking for approval, who was assessing me carefully.

"Tachibana you say?" He repeated. I nodded. "Are you related to Makoto Tachibana-san by any chance?"

"Well, yes- um, I mean we're cousins." I fumbled, blinking a bit. I can handle a person, but a crowd of people were an entirely different matter - especially when they were watching you like a hawk.

The teacher nodded. "I hope you are as promising as your cousin then, Tachibana-san. Please take your seat." I nodded at him, taking a random seat at the back right corner, near the window. I chewed on my bottom lip, my jittery nerves sedating at a calmer level. I sighed, hoping I didn't come off too much like a nervous wreck, or just plain stupid. The teacher continued on the lesson he had started, occasionally glancing at me to see if I understood.

I _didn't_.

No wonder there are stereotypes of Asians being super smart. They were _way_ ahead in the educational curriculum. Unfortunately for me, the super smart Asian-gene's seemed to skip out on me. I'd usually laze around and only pay attention to subjects that _mattered_ in my mind. More so compulsory courses, seeing as the government specifically requires you to pass math and English- or in this case, literature classes. I tried to suppress the groan of disappointment, but utterly failed at doing so.

"Mamoru-san? Are you alright?" A high-pitched voice that could only belong to a girl asked from beside me. I glanced at her. Auburn eyes, long red-brown hair tied up in a high pony, extremely pretty. I blinked, once, twice, before playing it off.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry for worrying you." I couldn't place my finger on it, but her appearance was familiar. Red-brown hair, auburn eyes - though they would seem more familiar if they had appeared onto a more masculine face. The girl smiled at me. I don't mean to sound as if I swing the other way, but she was _really_ cute.

"You're Makoto-san's cousin, right?" She started conversationally. I nodded. "I'm a friend of sorts." She explained.

"Oh.." I blinked. "Good for you?" I didn't know how to answer that. Did I have to seem like I cared? I didn't mean to be rude, but I honestly didn't give two-shits if you were my cousin's friend or neighbor. It didn't directly involved me at hand.

She went on as if she didn't hear me. "Actually, I'm the manager of their swim club." Oh.. okay? I didn't know what to say. I was always horrid with new people. They'd either think I was prude, crude, or simply anti-social. I decided to fake it. No use in making a bad impression when there was a potential friend approaching.

I smiled at her. "That's cool." I realized I didn't have anything else to add other than a detached compliment. It wasn't like I was really close to Makoto as I once was in the past, and I didn't know this girl either way. Essentially we didn't have anything to talk about. I gave her one final smile before looking towards the window. That should finish _that_ conversation, if she could read body language.

Unfortunately she wasn't fluent in the sacred arts of shut the hell up.

Alright that was mean, I thought with a smile. _Funny_, but mean. She was just being friendly, and here I am acting like a prick. At the sound of her voice, I looked back at her. She was still smiling at me. "Your cousin is a backstroke swimmer."

"A what?" I snickered. That sounded suspiciously like bareback. Just what was Makoto _into_?

"A backstroke swimmer." She repeated. No, it was too late. The thought has already registered into my mind and set in stone. Makoto Tachibana will forever be identified as the bareback swimmer. I decided to let this girl in on the joke. "I thought you said bareback." I snorted, the sound resembling a pig. The redhead stared at me oddly.

"What's a bareback?" She asked curiously.

Okay _now_ it was awkward. I shook my head, not too fond on explaining in general. "Nothing, nothing, never-mind." I smiled instead, mirth clear as day in my eyes. The girl tilted her head. It was quiet for a moment.

"I'm Gou Matsuoka. Please call me Kou, though." I nodded, not voicing my name seeing as she already knew it.

"I'll remember it." I said instead, a strained, small smile on my face.

.

Lunch came rolling around faster than I expected it, and I sighed as I realized I did not have a lunch. In America, I never really got into the routine of making lunches. My mom worked early and came home around the same time I did, and she'd usually make something then. That meant I ate once a day, since I skip breakfast, but that was alright, because mom did too, and we were always fine. We were healthy, and despite belief that you must eat three times a day for energy and other things, I was perfectly fine.

My stomach grumbled in violent protest.

I could deal with it though. It wasn't the first time I had been hungry during lunch hour, and I always handled it perfectly. I just had to wait until school was over, and I'd eat something.

Still, though, it wasn't like mom was there to make me food when I got back-

.

_It hurts_

.

A hand was placed over my heart, cupping what would've been the pulsing organ. I swallowed thickly.

.

_Don't think about it._

.

I choked on my own spit, my back against the wall as I hyperventilated. I was half-relieved that no one was in the hallways. I tried to suppress my emotions, but it was already too late. I had started thinking about it again.

.

_I should've died too._

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"Mamo-chan? There you are! I packed an extra bento in case you forgot to make one!- Ah! Mamo-chan?! Are you alright?! Does your head hurt?!"

.

_Why am I here?_

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"Mamoru."

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_I want to go home._

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"Mamo-chan!

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_I want my mother._

.

I realized my face, burning and flushed, were cupped in cool hands. The tips of the fingers were damp and wrinkly, as if they had been in water for a long period of time. My throat was sore with the thick lump that had formed. My eyes stung with unshed tears, that were probably red by now, predictably of how warm they felt. A tear rolled down my cheek, dangling on the tip of my chin before dropping to the ground. I swallowed hard, fading back into my surroundings.

I almost broke.

I locked my feelings into a darker part of my mind, letting out a sigh.

My eyes followed up the tie they were staring at, settling on the blank face of my cousin's best friend. Makoto was to my side, a warm hand on my shoulder. I looked at both of them. Makoto looked deeply concerned. I laughed a little, but it was obvious it was fake.

"Why're you guys looking at me like that?" I joked. "I'm fine."

"Mamo-chan.." Makoto started. I removed Haru's hands on my face, glancing at my cousin.

"Sorry for worrying you." I smiled falsely. "It was nothing. My head was just hurting a bit." I lied. Haru stared at me, as if calling me out on my bullshit, but he thankfully didn't say anything.

"Do you want to go home?" Makoto asked gently.

.

_Home?_

.

I live in a house, with people whom are my relatives, but are not my _family_. I'm guessing I should be grateful. They gave me a roof over my head, food to eat, and a warm bed. I am in their debt. But that is _not_ my home.

I stared at Makoto, a distant, detached look on my face. "..It's fine." I found myself saying. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Are you sure?" He looked uncertain. I nodded silently.

It was quiet between all three of us. Makoto smiled at me. "I brought an extra bento." He started warmly, I thankful for the change in subject. "Haru and I were heading to the roof, do you want to join?"

I blinked. I tried to smile back at him, but it was more strained than usual. "Well, since you went through the trouble to find me, I don't see why not."

.

"You guys are late!" Nagisa whined with a pout. "I was left with Rei-chan!"

"What's wrong with me?" Rei grumbled.

"Ah, sorry, sorry," Makoto smiled, settling on the ground beside the perky blonde. Haru sat beside Makoto, taking my would-be spot. I sighed and plopped beside Haru, who hadn't stopped staring at me since we arrived. Nagisa perked, staring at me openly.

"Oh! Mamo-chan's here!" He grinned. "How have you been?"

"Fine." I answered vaguely. I still felt mildly uncomfortable around him, since he was so energetic and bubbly. I turned to Rei, smiling a bit.

"Hi Rei-san, how've you been?"

Before the blunette could answer, he was interrupted. "No fair! Why does Rei-chan get a proper greeting?!"

"Because I don't like you." I said, looking away snootily. I was just teasing him, but he took it seriously.

"S-So mean!" Nagisa cried. Makoto chuckled good-naturedly. "And Mako-chan's laughing too!"

"I've been fine, Mamoru-san." Rei finally answered. "I couldn't help but notice you looked a little confused in class today."

I smiled pleasantly. "Ah.. well, the American school board is a bit different." I laughed nervously, scratching the back of my head. "I'm a bit behind, it seems."

"They're ignoring me!" Wailed Nagisa, which by now I had dubbed him as senseless background noise.

"You could hire a tutor." Rei supplied.

I sheepishly grinned. "I could.. but then I'd have to have money." I joked. Rei looked thoughtful. "Well, I'm not too good in English.. Maybe we can work something out?" He asked. "An eye for an eye."

I blinked. For once an effortless smile graced my face. "I'd like that very much." My tone could be labeled as sweet, but I was just genuinely thankful.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"M-Mamo-chan.."

"Huh?" I blinked. "Why's everyone quiet?" I slightly panicked. Did I do something offensive? I glanced at Haru, he was looking away, a faint tint of pink lingering on his cheeks. I looked over at Nagisa, he was staring at me, his jaw hanging in awe. I looked at Rei, one hand adjusted his glasses, trying to hide his flustered face, his eyes looking in another direction. I looked over at Makoto for advice. He was smiling at me warmly, looking overtly happy.

"You guys are _so creepy_." I said bluntly.

They all fell. I blinked. Makoto laughed softly. "It's because you're cute, Mamo-chan." Is he still going to tease me about that? I huffed, feeling my cheeks rise in temperature at the warm amusement in his eyes. He chuckled, my face turning into a deeper red. He was laughing at me! Somehow, even embarrassed, I couldn't help but feel a spark of happiness.

However brief it was.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 6**

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I sighed in almost immense relief when the bell rang. Gathering my belongings, which was just my bag mind you, and ventured out. The day was completed, and I could finally go back to Makoto's house. The hallway was expectantly crowded with students, all as eager as I was to go home. I got shoved aside by a few upperclassmen, knocking myself into the wall. I scowled as one halted, apologizing to me profusely. I blinked a few times, nodding at the tall boy.

"It's fine," I smiled falsely. He sighed in relief before leaving as quick as he could. My fake smile dropped and I sighed. Something caught my line of sight. On the other side of the wall, was a simple plain poster pinned up on a full billboard. I shuffled a couple of vibrant posters obscuring the paper out of the way, curiosity peeking. It was promoting the gardening club. I stared at it unblinkingly. In the fine writing was a statement that had me thinking in contemplation. Apparently no one harbored the current gardening club, not that I could really blame them - they had to preserve the school's garden during a free period, even stay after school if the need arose. No teenager wanted to do yard work - especially after school, thus the lack of occupants. Basically the paper said 'join or the gardening club will be disclosed'.

My mother was a florist, she had a love for flowers - if you were wondering exactly why this caught my attention. Call it morbid curiosity, if you will.

Then again, I wasn't my mother, and while she _had_ taught me a few tricks in gardening in the past, I was hesitating. Why would I want to garden anyway? This was the school's property. This was silly. Why was I even _considering_ this? If anything, this would cause me more grief than solace. Then again, the school was threatening to disclose the gardening club if no one else joined. The least they needed for satisfaction was _one_ occupant. Preserving one club that affected the school's appearance wasn't irrational, either. When had I decided to play 'savior of the clubs'? If it didn't directly involve me, I wouldn't care - that was my essential nature.

My teeth gnawed at my low lip, mulling over my thoughts. It was just a stupid club, why was I making a bigger deal out of this than I had to? Join or don't. It was simple. A toddler could make the decision quicker, yet I was still dwelling on this.

Well, it couldn't _hurt _to-

"Do you want to join a club, Mamo-chan?" Makoto's curious voice resounded beside me. I jolted, snatching the gardening club's poor excuse of a poster and buried it in my pocket quickly. Makoto stared at me in confusion, Haruka beside him staring at the pocket I had shoved the paper into.

"No." I muttered indifferently, calming the erratic thumping of my heart from the scare. Makoto and Haru were still staring at me. I cleared my throat. "So.. uh.. what are you doing here?" And how much did they see?

"We were looking for you," Makoto explained with a blink. "I thought we could all walk home together, since you left so early this morning." He finished with a kind smile. Mind you, I had left with the intention of not disturbing his morning routine a _second_ time. Being a burden wasn't my forte, and I'd rather keep to myself if anything.

I shuffled my feet. It's not like I had a choice in the matter. I smiled thinly. "Sure, why not?"

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Outside calmed my nerves. The fresh air soothing and quiet. Makoto and Haru were walking a few steps ahead of me, their conversation droning out the silence. Seeing them preoccupied with themselves, I fished out the flier I stole from the billboard, examining it again. I didn't have a free period this semester, or the next, meaning I'd have to work after school. I was fine with that. This would preoccupy me for the time being, meaning I wouldn't have any unexpected freak-outs like earlier.

A frowned a bit, remembering what had occurred. Both Makoto and Haru had to snap me out of it, and even then I was a bit shaky. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to hold everything in. On the contrary, who should I talk to? Who _could_ I talk to? Trust was such a fragile and fleeting thing. Consequently, I didn't _have_ anyone I could talk to, be it the result of my own insecurities.

My heart thumped against my rib cage as I calmed myself. I forced myself out of my reverie, my eyes trailing onto the ground.

"...-right, Mamo-chan?" I blinked, levitating my eyes to meet with my cousin's. He was looking back at me with a smile.

Shit."Uh," I laughed nervously. "...Right, yeah.. Sure, I guess." Makoto sent me a look of worry at my distant murmur, but I ignored it. Haru glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, and I looked away. With new-determination, I looked up at both males.

"You guys go on ahead." I said with a small smile. "I forgot something."

"We can go back with-" Makoto started saying. I shook my head.

"I'll catch up later, bye!" I turned on my heel and darted back to the school before he could protest.

Makoto and Haru shared a look.

.

"Are you certain you can handle this sort of responsibility on your own, Tachibana-san?" I smiled at the old teacher.

"I'm sure I can," I started calmly. "If any issues arise, I'll be sure to inform you miss." She smiled warmly from her seat, seemingly charmed by my formality.

"My, my," She chuckled to herself. "I was hesitant at first, but I can fairly see you as the responsible type. Please take care of the school garden." She pulled out a paper from the clutter of files on her desk. "This is the schedule for after school. Do not let me down, Tachibana-san."

"I'll try not too." I returned with a small, strained smile. "Thank you for your time."

"So polite!" She boasted, a friendly smile on her worn face. By then I had already took the paper, smiling once more before leaving promptly.

I stared at the schedule. I couldn't pin-point the exact reason why I personally decided on dedicating my free time to this. Whether it was from sympathy or a spur of determination, I just felt as if I _had_ to do it. For myself really.

That logic was completely messed, and I might even come to regret this decision in the near future, but I chose to deal with it.

Besides, it'd be embarrassing if I backed out _now_.

* * *

Haru's eyes followed Makoto's cousin when she waltz in unannounced. It had been close to an hour since she had randomly ran off, claiming she had forgot something. Suspiciously, she wasn't carrying anything that indicated she had reclaimed her lost artifact, unless it was in her bag. She kicked off her shoes, scurrying to the kitchen instantly, passing by Makoto and himself.

"It's common courtesy to announce your arrival." Makoto scolded lightly.

She looked back at him with a blink. "Oh.. uh.." She sucked in a breath, waving her arms around before poking the air. "Ding-dong!" She muttered. She looked expectantly at her cousin, who looked just plain confused. Haru seemed to get the gist of what she wanted. He pretended to open an imaginative door, not a crack in his stoic expression. "Yes?" He said with a blink.

"I have arrived." She said dramatically, outstretching her arms in emphasis. Her green eyes lit up with mirth. Makoto laughed at both their antics. "I'm afraid it does not work like that, Mamo-chan."

She smiled once more before searching through the fridge, slowly the hilarity vanished from her expression as it always seemed to do. Brief flashes from her old self would resurface, before it got buried behind firm locks. Locks that neither male could decipher. Makoto looked back at Haru, who shared the same expression. Solemn and quietly concerned.

He was surprised when he had first heard of her arrival, but concealed it well. Makoto could read his train of thought either way, and the killer whale was excited as well. Mamoru as a child had always been vibrant and charming, despite her incredible stubbornness. They had been close friends - not as close as him and Makoto, but fairly close. He remembered the day he had been informed of her departure to America. He was hurt. Why was his friend leaving him? Makoto seemed even more distraught, seeing as they had knew each other since _birth_.

Although, Makoto seemed to have understood the circumstances, and bid her a teary, uncomfortable good-bye, promising each other they'd see each other again one day. Haru hadn't understood as quickly, flat out rejecting the idea to bid any farewell. He was young, as well as immature at the time. Makoto pestered him, but he stubbornly refused. Eventually Mamoru left, and Haru sulked. Only a day later had he regretted his absence for her departure, but accepted that he couldn't do anything about it even if he tried. She was gone.

As children, they had gotten the censored, mild version of why Mamoru and her mother fled the country. Mamoru's mother wanted a new start after the divorce with her former husband. At least that was what they were told.

Yet that didn't explain the dark bruises Mamoru's mother would be littered with when they visited. Occasionally Mamoru would be bruised around the arms and legs, sometimes even her face, but Haru never questioned it. He had thought she was just a substantially reckless child, who would fall clumsily or knock into a few walls. Still, he never dug deeper than that. Makoto never said anything about it either, so why should he?

He was startled when he realized she hadn't remembered him. At first, he had believed she was merely bitter he hadn't said good-bye, therefore feigning the act. The possibility of that still lingered, but was starting to fade as he realized there was no recognition in her eyes when she looked at him. It wasn't as if the bond she had with Makoto and Haru was _severed_ - no, it was as if there _wasn't a bond to begin with_. She was completely disconnected. Even now, as she talked to them in a friendly manner, her eyes were that of a stranger. A novice.

She really did not recall any memory of him at all.

At the moment of realization, he did not know what to feel. This Mamoru was different. This Mamoru had high titanium walls of steel built around her. Her smiles were fake and she was painfully polite, careful to set a distance of detachment to all she met. She could be there with him, yet give the air a feeling that she'd rather be somewhere else. Makoto, even more attentive than he, noticed this as well. Though instead of voicing his concern, he almost seemed determined to unravel the reserve confinement of Mamoru's true side. They were family after all. Haru could understand Makoto's resolve, and if anyone had the power to melt even the coldest of hearts, or tear down any walls, it was Makoto Tachibana.

Mamoru fished out a peach, her mood perking up. Makoto lit up as well.

"You still love peaches, huh?" There was an undertone of longing in his voice that only Haru could detect. Mamoru blinked, glancing at Makoto. She laughed, but it sounded hollow.

"I guess I do." She took a large bite of the fruit, juices dripping down her chin as she slurped noisily. Makoto chuckled and Haru stared indifferently. She covered her mouth, embarrassed of Makoto's amusement.

Somehow, with the reminder that she had no specific recollection of their friendship, he couldn't help but think that personality wise, she was still the same.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 7**

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Having my stitches removed was quick and painless, taking a little under 5 minutes. The only burden that weighed was that I had to take a train to Samezuka because my last doctor -in America- accidentally booked my appointment for here. And since I was a bit of a pushover, I didn't think an extra 20 minutes on a train would really be a hassle to begin with. I was right, and it wasn't much of a bother than I put out to be, but I was rather grumpy at the fact that I had to haul my ass out of bed. The doctor was friendly, coaxing me to be still as he snipped and tugged out the string sealing my skin. He smiled at me and told me that I was done. I paid my expenses with the money I had stored over the years in my savings account. Realistically, that was the money for college, but my resolve and inspiration was wilting away quicker than I could comprehend.

My itched at my scar, the subtle pokes from the medical scissors had irritated my skin a bit. The scar itself reminded me of one of Frankenstein's stitches, small indents from the string had embedded themselves horizontally across my scar, leaving barely noticeable marks. I didn't care all too much. There wasn't anything I could particularly do about it, so I didn't dwell on the matter.

My eyes instinctively located a vending machine when I realized my throat was a bit parched. I had spare change as well.

I ventured towards the machine, which was close to a nearby building that looked a bit like a school. I shrugged, not minding that it was on school property in the first place. Some students were jogging by in a flock, wearing black and red exercise clothing. Gym class? I popped a few coins in the machine, picking out a canned cola. I stood awkwardly as I patiently waited for the can to tumbled into the dispenser.

Nothing happened after 5 minutes.

I sighed, figuring they were out of cola. I popped in a few more coins, selecting a sparkling lemonade.

They were out of those too.

I sighed, sulky of the change I just wasted. I suppose one more try wouldn't hurt, right? Unless it was broken. Deciding on the latter, I shoved the machine. It didn't even budged. My eye brow twitched.

"Piece of shit." I cursed, kicking the machine. Nothing. _Nada_.

"Oh! Do you need help?" A chirpy voice asked, catching me by surprise. I blinked, flushing in sheepishness as I turned to face a rather adorable boy about my height. He was sweaty, his face red with exercise. He had strange colored hair -_silver_. His baby-blue eyes blinked in concern and I laughed nervously.

"Uhm... Pardon?" I could only manage. I felt myself shy as the boy blinked obliviously to my fluster.

"Do you need help?" He repeated with a smile, making me giddy with his cuteness. "You looked troubled!" He explained good-naturedly.

"Oh.." I fumbled with my words. "Uh.. sure? I guess." He came closer, staring at the machine with a hand under his chin.

"Let's see.." He trailed off in thought. "Hiya!" He punched the center.

Nothing.

We both stood there. The boy reddened in embarrassment. "Aha.." I sighed. At the noise, he whipped back at me in determination. "Wait here! I'll get Matsuoka-senpai! Senpai knows how to work these!" Before I could protest, he was already gone. My eyebrow twitched.

This turned out to be more bothersome than I intended. Perhaps I should just leave? Then again forcing this rather cute boy to go get someone only to find out I had ditched in the end seemed like a dick-move. On the contrary, the chance that I wouldn't see this specific boy was moderately high. _I could just..-_

"Come on Matsuoka-senpai-!"_Drat_.

Alright, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad would it be if I ran away while they could still see me?

I decided to be brave and stick my ground. I sighed as the boy neared with another male that towered me in height.

I froze, feeling as if I just went through deja vu seeing the older boy. Conflicted with my thoughts, I found myself staring blatantly at the boy. Why was he so familiar? I shrugged. Maybe I knew him in a passed life? I snickered at the possibility.

"Oi-! _Nitori_." He scowled crossly at his kouhai. I caught a glimpse of sharp, pointy teeth.

"Matsuoka-senpai, this was the girl I was talking about!" He pleaded. It was quiet for a moment and the auburn eyed stranger pointed his displeased scowl at me in return. He was wearing one of those exercise clothing I couldn't name, and I could only guess he was apart of the gym class that had passed by earlier. Not bothered by the look I received, I blinked at him. He seemed like the grumpy type of person. Coincidentally, I had a nack for teasing the grumpy types. His eyes assessed me calculatingly.

"_Fine_." He grumbled reluctantly. His elbow thumped the center of the vending machine, two iced cans of soda tumbling into the dispenser. I brightened, plucking both cans out tentatively. I stared at them, contemplating in thought. I tossed both cans to each male. They both stared at me in surprise as they caught it, the shorter of the two fumbling before steadily grasping hold.

"Here." I smiled. Sensing the silver haired boy was going to protest, I chuckled. "I wasn't that thirsty, you just made a bigger deal out of it than I would've liked." I said honestly, not noticing how blunt I was being.

"That's Nitori for you." The other boy added blandly as he snapped the can open, a fizzing noise resounding. He glanced at me momentarily as 'Nitori' deflated. "Have we met?"

I blinked at him. "I don't think so." I muttered. Feeling oddly defiant, I smiled at him jokingly. "Besides, I think I'd remember a guy with teeth like yours. Those look hazardous." He choked on his drink.

"Matsuoka-senpai!" Taken his intimidating aura, it was likely he might chew me up and spit me out soon(not in the literal sense), so I made haste to retreat.

"Well anyhow, bye! Thanks for helping me!" I grinned as Nitori patted Matsuoka's back. The redhead glared at my distancing back.

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Over the weekend I had finally gotten my uniform. I thought it was cute, but for someone else that _wasn't_ me. Wearing skirts were not my muse. Skirts made my inner thighs rub together, not to mention there was no salvation if a gust of wind decided to sneak up on me. Counterbalance to my new, not to mention short, skirt, I wore knee length shorts under it. _Yes_, it wasn't exactly fashionable, but it saved me from the pain of thick thighs- not everyone was blessed with a thigh gap thank you. I could admit that I didn't mind the odd glances I got, mostly because if I was comfortable, I honestly didn't give a damn.

Another factor was now that my scar wasn't covered in the confinement of my bandage, it was visible to the naked eye, meaning I got questions I wasn't comfortable with.

"How'd you get that Tachibana-san?"

"Oh! That must've hurt!"

"Was it from a fight?!"

"You're so _cool_, Tachibana-san!"

Okay, the last comment wasn't _that_ bad. When I didn't answer them directly, or told them it wasn't any of their business, I was pestered even more. Supposedly, the scar added an allure of danger and mystery, thus the comments of my apparent 'coolness' and such. I wasn't complaining, I just let them believe whatever they wanted to. The buzz around me would eventually die down in a week or so anyway, might as well indulge in the attention.

Unfortunately, word got around that I had rekindled the gardening club, adding a nonessential member.

I wasn't disappointed -no this meant we could split the work evenly- but I wasn't relieved either. Joining the gardening club had been on a whim, and I as much as I was willing to work, I was also willing to be _alone_. This was one of the factors that had appealed to me. I got some alone time.

"I'm glad to have join the gardening club with you, Tachibana-senpai!" The girl beamed. She had light brown hair and dark eyes, young and inexperienced. I didn't know if I'd potentially like this girl, so I stuck with the distant politeness I addressed people I wasn't familiar with.

"Oh?" I smiled at her. "That's good." She brightened at my words.

"I'm Atsuko Takashi!" I nodded at her as I handed her the schedule I received last week, having already memorized it.

"We're starting today, after school." I explained. Atsuko nodded enthusiastically.

"I won't let you down, Tachibana-senpai! I'll be there!" I blinked.

"No need to be so excited, we're just cleaning up the yard today. Tomorrow we're going to the store for fertilizer." I explained, yet again unaware of my bluntness. Atsuko deflated at my words, looking as if she had just gotten scolded.

"O-okay.." She murmured. I smiled at her before checking the time. There was 3 minutes before the short break concluded. I looked over at Atsuko. "You should get to class, Takashi-san." She glanced at the clocked in surprise, thanking me in haste as she darted to her next class. I chuckled at the younger girl, amused at her somewhat scatterbrain antics.

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Lunch always came quicker than I expected, surprising me at how fast time rolled by. It seemed just like yesterday that I was dragged out to the movies with my mother to see her long time crush Leonardo DeCaprio, and now I was in Japan, having lunch with some of my cousin's best friends. In another perspective, I would've said that having lunch with 4 rather hot guys was more than a little pleasant. Somehow their appearance did little to my hormones. Yes, I wasn't blind. I could notice their generous genes, _anyone_ with two functioning eyes could. Though the importance of appearance was rather dulled to a bare minimum since my mother passed, and if it weren't for my obvious attraction to that Nitori fellow the other day, I would've contemplated the fact that I might be temporarily asexual.

Seriously that boy was cute.

My lips twitched in a wobbly smile, unaware of how impish and creepy it might've looked.

"Uh.. Mamo-chan? Are you alright?" Makoto asked tentatively. I blinked, the smirk-smile vanishing from my face.

"Peachy. Why?" He stared at me a little longer.

"Mamo-chan had a scary look on her face!" Nagisa elaborated teasingly.

"I was just doing my impression of Hazuki-kun." I countered with a fake smile.

"So mean!" He wailed, latching onto Makoto. "Ne, Mako-chan! Do something about your mean cousin!" Makoto laughed nervously and I rolled my eyes.

That seemed to be the summary of my usual lunches nowadays. Nagisa would banter me, I would passive-aggressively retort and a reluctant Makoto would be dragged into the mess. Most of the time Rei seemed to be on the receiving end of Nagisa's endless teasing, seeing as his fussy reactions was a bit more entertaining than my sass.

As for Haru, he was so quiet I'd forget he was there if Nagisa wouldn't engage him in a one-sided conversation every once and awhile. Sometimes although, I found his silence more consoling when I didn't feel like talking. I wouldn't tell him that, though.

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After school I met up with Atsuko. True to her words, she was on time and eager as ever. Pride weld in me, satisfied I had such an adept kouhai. We immediately got to work, her and I plucking away the garbage students might've left in the front of the school. Later we raked the leaves, the work easy but taking close to an hour and a half to finish. We decided to call it a day, seeing as we were finished and tired. Surprisingly, I had worked up a sweat, as did Atsuko.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Tachibana-senpai!" Atsuko grinned broadly, her smile infectious. I smiled back, walking home.

I was content with how things felt as if they were turning for the better. I almost felt as if I could move on.

_Almost_.

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	9. Chapter 9

**A/n: I just realized the seiyuu/voice actor for Rin is a guy named Mamoru Miyano! _Foreshadowing_ or _coincidence_?! PLEASE REVIEW! It motivates me to update quicker, really!**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 8**

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"Haru!" A little girl squawked, almost tumbling on her two legs as she halted. She doubled over, her hands clutching her knees, panting heavily. A little boy, a mere one year older blinked in apprehension. She glanced up at the dark haired boy, her expression grim. "Hey, I was calling you!"

"..." His silence went unnoticed. Mamoru straightened.

"Mako-chan is sick, Auntie made him stay home - so he can't meet up with you today." It was quiet.

Haruka turned around and started walking away.

"Wait, wait!" Mamoru exclaimed. Haru stopped, looking over at her with a glance. She fidgeted in sheepishness. "Well.. Mako-chan made me promise to play with you since he's not here!"

"No." Mamoru stopped, Haru was walking away again. She panicked. Mako-chan made her _promise_! _Pinky_ promise! Well, not pinky promise, but it was still a promise! She hastily ran over and latched onto Haru's arm, causing him to forcibly stop. His eyes narrowed in a glare. "Let go." Mamoru glared back.

"Where are you going?!" She pried.

"Home." He answered shortly.

"You _CAN'T_!" She yelled. Haru tilted his head away from her yelp.

"..Noisy.." He muttered to himself. She went on.

"I _promised_ Mako-chan!" She pressed.

"You said you don't like me." Haru pointed out blankly. She was momentarily surprised by how much words he spoke.

"That-! Well-!" She huffed. "If it's for Mako-chan, I'll play with you!"

Haru stared at Mamoru's stubborn face.

"..."

"_Pleasepleaseplease_!" She persisted, tugging on the arm she clutched onto.

"..."

"...Pretty please with a cherry on top!"

"..."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top with sprinkles!"

"..."

"And ice-cream!"

"..."

"And-!" A hand covered her mouth, muffling her next words.

"...For Mako-chan." He agreed quietly, mostly to shut her up. She beamed brightly at him, and for a moment he felt his chest constrict. Without knowing why, he looked away from her grinning face.

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"And then-! And then Haru-chan started to take his clothes off! It was totally weird, but you should've seen it! He almost jumped into the fountain too! But ya know I stopped him, so it's okay!"

"You sound like you had fun," Makoto smiled over at Haru, who sat at the foot of the bed, Mamoru bouncing lightly at his side causing the bed to dip repeatedly. Haru, in response, looked away, causing Makoto's smile to widen.

"Yeah, yeah! But I'm kinda hungry now.." Makoto laughed a little.

"I'm sure their's some left over broth Mom made-"

"Bleh, I don't like broth." Mamoru sighed. She flopped over onto Makoto's side, her weight pinning him down.

"Mamo-chan! You're gonna get sick!" Makoto sniffled, his eyes widening.

"Who cares!" She teased, hugging him tightly.

"Your mom and dad will be upset if you get sick, Mamo-chan!" Makoto protested.

"Who cares!" She repeated with a grin.

"Mamo-chan!" Makoto whined.

"Who cares, who cares, who cares~" She sung happily.

"Mamo-chan.." Makoto slumped his shoulders, a sign of resignation. Both finally realizing that they were being watched, Mamoru glanced over at Haru, who stared back blankly. Makoto smiled nervously at Haru. Without warning, Mamoru pounced onto Haru, causing him to fall back with her weight. They ended up falling off the bed, Makoto looking over in worry. "Haru!"

"Oi!" Haru glared. Mamoru giggled insanely, hugging the other child tightly. "Let go!" He strained. She buried her head into his neck, Haru squirming a bit at the contact.

"Haru-chan looked like he wanted a hug too!" Mamoru laughed, Haru glared at the top of her head. Makoto sighed with a smile in the background.

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"How'd you get that?"

"Get what?" Mamoru countered back as she swung her legs over the edge of the play-structure. Makoto worriedly glanced between them, but it was obvious he was curious as well.

"That thing on your face."

"Haru-chan!" Makoto reprimanded in a light scolding. Realizing that he meant no harm, Makoto looked over at his younger cousin. Mamoru touched her face. "That's my nose!" She beamed childishly.

A stubby finger poked her cheek. More specifically, it poked the darkened blotch of flesh under her eye. There was a yellow hue surrounding it, an indication of it's healing. "Ow!" Tears formed in her eyes as she flinched. She cupped a hand over the warm, sensitive bruise. She moaned a little in pain. Makoto rushed to her side.

"Mamo-chan! Are you okay?"

"M'fine.." She said with a smile. "Just hurt a little."

"How'd you get that?" Haru repeated, taking care to not touch her again this time.

Her face changed, and she almost looked like she was going to tell him, but stopped. A mouth splitting grin stretched across her face.

"I wrestled a bear!" She boasted with a laugh, her chest puffed out in pride. She looked over at her cousin and Haru curiously. Seeing they were paying close attention, she continued. "It was big and ugly and bared it's teeth at me! But I beat the crap outta it! Sadly it got me once.. But then he ran home crying, because I'm so cool!"

Haru was staring at her with a raised eyebrow, "Liar."

"Nuh-uh!" She crossed her arms. "I have the mark to prove it!" Haru stared at the bruise a little more, his resolve momentarily wavering. He looked away with a small 'tch', won over.

"You could've got hurt, Mamo-chan!" Makoto cried, staring at her in concern. "Don't wrestle anymore bears!"

"I didn't choose this lifestyle, it chose me. It was written in the prophecy.." Mamoru looked away dramatically.

"You're not cool." Haru deadpanned. Mamoru almost tripped, glaring at Haru in defiance.

"I'm the coolest of the cool!" She pouted. "Right, Mako-chan?!" Makoto laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Silence trickled by.

"WAHH! MAKO-CHAN DOESN'T THINK I'M COOL?!"

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**_Present Time_**

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"How'd you get that, Onee-chan?" A curious Ren asked, causing Ran to look over.

"Yeah! Did it hurt?" Ran piped in.

Makoto stiffened, Haru glanced over at them, seemingly curious. I paused the video game, looking over at my two little cousins. They took a liking to asking me every question known to man, and just my luck they had to question upon my scar. They stared at me with innocent, big eyes. I blinked again.

"Get what?" I decided to play stupid.

"That, that!" Ren pointed persistently at my head, his sister leaning closer.

"That's my hair. It grows out of my head." I explained in boredom, amused at the twins impatient faces. Makoto chuckled a little behind me, Haru was silent as ever, observing quietly.

"_Noooo_." Ren whined, finally reaching up and poking my scar. "That!"

I flinched, my head jerking back in instinct.

"Ah! Sorry Onee-chan! I won't do it again!" Ren panicked. I sighed, a hand gingerly rubbing over my sealed wound. It was still so sensitive, and I always made sure to sleep on the other side of my bed. The pain was slowly receding with the days that passed, but honestly I reminded myself of Harry Potter at this stage. With the exception that Harry's scar looked like a lightning bolt, while mine looked like a mauled cat decided to have a hissy fit above my eyebrow.

"It's fine." I muttered. "It's just a little sore." I smiled at my cousin in reassurance. Ran looked equally as anxious, so I stuck my tongue out at her to lighten her mood. "You wanna know how I got that?" I said mischievously, causing both kids to lean in as if I was going to tell them a crucial secret.

"..I slayed a _dragon_!" I exclaimed, causing both kids to jump back, startled.

"What! B-but dragon's don't exist!" Ran argued.

"Heh." I scratched my nose. "That's just what they want you to think. They'll attack you when you least expect it! I was lucky that I got out alive, but it the end, I totally conquered his ass."

"Ehh?!" Ran and Ren awed, "You're so cool, Mamo-nee-chan!"

Makoto sighed in half-relief. "Mamo-chan, telling them that would only make them more excited."

"Eh," I shrugged. "Let them have their childhood while they can still remember it." The comment was so easy-going, I hardly realized my mistake.

Somehow I felt the weight of Haru's stare increase ten-fold.

_Well, shit._ I thought stupidly.

.

Since my slip up, thankfully nothing had changed, and I wasn't confronted. I guess it went unnoticed. I sighed in relief, causing Atsuko to glance at me momentarily.

"Are you alright, Tachibana-senpai?" She asked carefully.

"Peachy." I smiled, the action straining my facial muscles more than usual. Atsuko smiled back, unaware.

"Alright! But.. if you want to talk or something, I'm all ears."

"I appreciate it." I answered distantly, digging a hole in the soft soil with a small shovel. I planted three seeds, pushing the dirt over the hole and patting the earth. I didn't mind that chunks of dirt filled up the space under my nails as I did so. I could clean them later. Atsuko did the same beside me, planting a different type of specimen into the dirt, dropping 6 accidental seeds haphazardly before burying it. My eyebrow twitched before I sighed deeply. As she was patting the spot, I sat beside her to her surprise.

"Here," I muttered. I grasped her hands, ignoring her gasp. "This way." I manipulated her hands to grab the shovel, scooping out the dirt before giving her a pointed stare. "Drop _three_." She flushed, doing as I told. I grasp her hands again, pushing the soil into the hole and patting gently. "There." I smiled over at her. "I'm sure you can manage this properly, right?" She nodded rapidly and I returned to my original spot. Silence hung in the air, but I wasn't disturbed. More content than anything. Somehow, the earth- _nature_ in general was quite calming.

"S-senpai.." I glanced over at Atsuko. She smiled at me. "Your hands are nice."

"Huh." I blinked, staring at the other girl. Didn't know she swung that way. She jolted.

"No-! Wait, what I mean is-! There's been rumors that you used to be a yankee! So I thought that, for a thug, you should've had callous, rough hands! Surprisingly your hands are soft and gentle..!"

I stared at her as if she had three heads. Her describing my hands is another level of creepy, and second- people thought I was a thug?! _Seriously_?!

Maybe I should've said something when these rumors first started, that way it would've stopped before it got started. Seriously that's ridiculous.

"A yankee..?" I drawled, hoping she would fill in the blank. She flushed again.

"Oh! Well.. that _scar_-!" She didn't finish, as if it was self-explanatory. How quick people are to judge nowadays.

I stared at her blankly. Finally I sighed. "I was in a car accident." I saw her freeze, but I didn't particularly care. "A piece of the shattered windshield somehow got stuck in my brain. I'm lucky to have even survived." A dullness engulfed me, and I felt as if I wasn't there anymore. I was reliving the moment. I shut my eyes, casting away the faded memory.

"Senpai!" Atsuko's cry snapped me away from my reverie. "I'm so sorry! I-"

"I'd rather not have your pity. I just wanted to clear my name." My voice was colder than I intended, but either way, Atsuko ceased her yapping, and it was quiet again.

.

We finished early, given the fact that we just had to plant and water the premature plants. We'd have to wait until growth started before getting excited. Atsuko bid me a fairly awkward good-bye, still beaming but careful not to set me off. I sighed. I _knew_ I should've said something to soften the blow, yet I did not regret it. What I said was honest, and I _honestly_ did not want unadulterated pity. I'd just shamefully mooch off of it, and when their sympathy died away, I'd be left with nothing.

My musing was cut off when thunder rumbled softly in the background. I looked up, admiring the cloudy dark sky. By the looks of it, it'd rain soon. Really soon. I didn't mind, I quite liked the smell of rain. The humidity in the air increased and the faint crackle of lightning sparked in the distance.

For some reason, at the thought of a storm, my thoughts collected around my cousin. Why was I concerned? It was just a storm. Something nagged me at the back of my head, screaming at me to make sure Makoto was fine.

"Mamo-chan!" I blinked, looking back to the voice. Makoto and Haru walked over. "It's going to rain soon so everyone decided to go home early from swim practice!" He smiled, the warmth in his eyes dimmed a bit when the thunder growled again.

"Makoto-san.." I started faintly. Was he alright? Why was I so concerned? He was bigger, stronger, and _older_ than me - a little storm should not bother him, right? I glanced over at Haru to see barely concealed concern in his eyes as he observed Makoto warily. So I was not day-dreaming. Something _was_ bugging Makoto.

The more I mulled over this, the stronger of a migraine formed. I tentatively rubbed my scar, my lips pulling into a frown. Wind started to stir around us harshly, and I heard Makoto's voice. A tiny voice whispered in my mind.

.

_Stormy weathers remind him of **that** typhoon._

.

'That typhoon'? What? My mind was drawing to a blank after that. Like an intense cliffhanger of a book, the next page was blank. A hazy white. I rubbed my scar a little more, a little harder, a little faster. I just remembered something. I wanted to know more. I needed-! A sharp pain caused my hand to jerk away. A larger hand took my wrist, and I met bright green droopy eyes. Makoto.

"Mamo-chan-! Mamo-chan, hey! It's alright, don't cry." His voice seemed to lower me from my high. I took in my surroundings, recalling where I was and who I was again. "Tell me what's wrong, I'm here." I stared at Makoto a little longer.

I choked up, my throat stiffening with the tight lump forming in my esophagus. What's wrong? _What's **wrong**_?! For once I wish I had less self-control so I could impulsively rampage. Instead I calmed down and thought logically, burying my emotions. My throat was still tight, but I smiled at my cousin.

"It's nothing." I muttered. "Let's go home, okay?" He was watching me with cautious eyes, Haru was flickering gazes between me and my cousin. Eventually Makoto nodded with a small smile.

"Okay, let's go."

* * *

The storm had ended an hour ago, and Makoto's nerves were just starting to settle. Haru went home not too long ago as well, and Makoto had just changed into more comfortable clothing for bed. Mamoru decided not to join in their gaming session this time, to which both Haru and Makoto exchanged glances. Sensing that she wanted to be alone, he left it at that. So far, waiting for her to come to him on her own will seemed so far-fetched. Mamoru was much more clammed up and distant than he had anticipated, and his efforts felt as if they were in vain.

Makoto sighed once again, staring sullenly at the popcorn ceiling. "Mamo-chan.."

As if say her name was a jinx, two soft knocks resonated at his door. "Ah, come in!" He called out. The door creaked open and Mamoru's form slipped in, closing the door gently behind her. She was staring at her feet, her expression unreadable.

"M-Mamo-chan!" At her nickname, she sighed, looking over at her cousin. Makoto made way to get out of bed, but she shook her head, trotting over and plopping unceremoniously near his legs. "Mamo-chan, what're you doing here?"

"I.." She bit her lip. Makoto waited patiently. "I remembered something. It was vague though, and didn't clear anything up. I guess I just sort of freaked out earlier.." She laughed dryly.

"R-really?!" Makoto perked, a sense of intense relief and hope budded in his expression. "Wha-what did you remember?" He paced his excitement, calming down a little. Mamoru frowned.

"Something about stormy weathers reminding you of a typhoon." She looked over at him. "What happened, Makoto-san?"

Makoto's mood dulled and he chuckled nervously.

"Are you afraid of the weather, Makoto-san?" She pressed.

"Not so much as the weather as much as the ocean.." He gave her a melancholic smile. Mamoru turned her body to face him fully, her attention solely focused on him.

"You're not obligated to tell me, but.. I'm willing to listen to your hearts content." She said softly.

"It's alright," Makoto smiled. "I want.. to tell you." _Again_.

And so he did, and Mamoru listened quietly. "You were one of the first I told," He smiled, a lighter mood slowly starting to reappear. Her heart stuttered. "I'm glad you remembered, even if it was just a little." He said warmly.

Mamoru's shoulder's trembled as she glared angrily at her knees. Makoto instantly picked up on this, trying to attentively view her face. "Mamo-chan? Are you alright?"

"I'm sorry." She murmured quietly. "I.. Here you are, recalling things you'd rather forget because my memories are gone.." Her shoulders trembled a little more violently. "I'm so useless."

"Mamo-chan-!" Makoto started.

"I'm so-! _Why_.." Her voice took another tone. Less anger and more sad. "Why am I like this..? It's so..." Her voice broke at the end. "I just want to remember something! It's like I'm hitting a wall each time and it's so _frustrating_..!" She choked on a sob. "And now I'm crying like an idiot! Goddammit!"

"Mamo-chan.." He paused. "Mamoru.." He corrected himself. He placed a hand onto her shoulder, carefully pulling her into a hug. Luckily for him, she didn't push him away, instead melting into his arms quietly as she sniffled. After a few more moments, she clung onto him, dampening his shirt with tears. Minutes trickled by, but none spoke. After awhile, she calmed down, hazily staring at the wall. "Are you alright now?" He asked softly.

"Uh-huh.." She nodded against his chest. It was quiet again. "I want to stay here for the night, Makoto.." Some part of him delighted in the fact that she had dropped the detached suffix of '-san' at the end. Hearing her weak request, he couldn't bring himself to reject it even if he wanted to.

"Mhm," He nodded, laying back down. To his surprise, she still clung to him, causing him to smile. "So cute." He murmured to himself.

"Am not." She muttered back, burying her face into his warmth.

.

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	10. Chapter 10

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 9**

* * *

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A yawn, deep and jaw-splitting, erupted from my throat. Fogginess clouded my vision, and I blearily blinked away the slumber from my mind, trying registering exactly where I was.

"You're awake." Croaked out a hoarse voice. I blinked up at Makoto, he was sprawled out underneath me, his arms tossed out on either side of him. I was stretched out over him, one hand lain over a pillow, the other thrown across his chest, my cheek smushed against his shoulder. I realized with horror that one of my legs had somehow locked our hips together, hooked over his waist. I laid there, blinking a few times, trying in vain to regain proper thought process. Makoto yawned, but he didn't move either. In the quiet of the morning, I started to drift back asleep, content with cuddling my older cousin.

"Mah," His voice cleared up a bit. "We should get up now." He quietly suggested.

"..Mmm.." I hummed in response, not wanting to talk after waking up so soon.

"Mamo-chan, come on.." He drawled, sounding more awake. "We have to eat breakfast, then get Haru-chan, then go to school."

"..Ugh.." I grumbled. My mood started to dampen. I was already grumpy with the suggestion of getting up. We laid for another 2 minutes, before Makoto started talking again.

"Mamo-"

"_Fine_." I snapped, hefting myself up. I stretched, my taut muscles cracking in protest. Makoto smiled at me when I blinked around. I rubbed my eyes with closed fists, arching my back and hearing a pop. I rolled my shoulders before slowly getting out of my cousin's bed, Makoto following after.

Not wanting to discuss anything, since I wasn't particularly a morning person, I exited the room in favor of my own.

.

School dragged on like usual, but somehow the day seemed a bit better. I'm embarrassed to admit that crying in my cousin's arms had helped lifted some of the weight barring my shoulders. He didn't judge me, only quietly listened and understood. Maybe I _could_ trust Makoto, or maybe I always had. Somehow the familiarity he oozed calmed my nerves, and I realized with incipient resolution I wanted to keep him selfishly to myself. As a stress-reliever of sorts.

With dread, I also realized I was starting to become attached to him. I could _feel_ it, yet despite it's unwanted appearance, I didn't want to stop it.

Only a handful of people I've ever became emotionally attached to, and even then they were starting to dissipate into faded memories. My mother being one, my former best-friend being another. Emotional bonds were hard to form to me. I was detached, priding myself above what I assumed were petty emotions. Friend's were great, but I always thought that after high school, they'd leave - so why would I want to become attached to them? Why would I want to share secrets with them, if in the end they wouldn't even stick around? That's why it was so easy for me to leave them all back in America, because if my feelings really were bound to them, I'd selfishly want to keep them forever if I could.

And that's where reality comes in. I was a firm believer that friends were replaceable. And just as easy as I could replace _them_, they could reciprocate and do the same to _me_.

In life, you've got to expect the unexpected, prepare for the worst, and to save yourself the hurt -_ keep your distance_.

Virtually, I was content alone. Who knew me better than myself, anyway? Admittedly, pangs of overwhelming loneliness would wash over occasionally, putting me in a sour mood for days at a time.

For Makoto, the distance was vanishing inch-by-inch and he was becoming dangerously close.

With that, I didn't know if my mood brightened or darkened. Perhaps I should test the waters, see if my trust could really be invested in Makoto? That seemed logical.

.

As usual the time for lunch to approach was quick, and I made haste to arrive at the rooftop, where Makoto and his friends were. Feeling oddly enthusiastic that afternoon, I skipped over to Makoto, a grin so wide it was almost blinding.

"Hi everyone!" I beamed, plopping to my usual spot beside Makoto.

"You seem happy today, Mamoru-san." Rei observed with a pleasant smile. I grinned back at him.

"I guess it's because I get to see your lovely face." I returned brightly, not realizing I was indirectly flirting.

"!" Rei adjusted his glasses, trying to obscure his fluster.

"Ehh? Why Rei-chan? What about _me_, Mamo-chan?!" Nagisa whined indignantly, latching onto me with a pout.

"Only Rei-san!" I looked away with my arms crossed. The color in Rei's cheeks darkened and he continued adjusting his glasses.

"Ehh!" Nagisa exclaimed. Makoto chuckled. Nagisa suddenly turned sly, a sneaky grin on his face. "Hm, I wonder - does Mamo-chan secretly love Rei-chan?!"

I smirked, not bothered in the least. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore!"

"M-Mamoru-san!" Rei interjected bashfully. I looked over at Rei, snatching his hands and staring into his sapphire eyes intensely.

Dramatically, I swooned. "Oh Rei-san, we've been found out! Let us runaway into the forbidden forest together where we will never be found out!" By then he was as red as a tomato and I couldn't hold my laughter anymore. I snorted, the sound resembling a pig as I threw my head back, laughing wildly. Nagisa laughed as well, tossing an arm around my shoulders.

"Ahh.." I sighed with a grin, leaning against Nagisa who did the same. I wiped the tear in my eye, still chuckling to myself. Rei recovered, wiping his glasses clean from the fog that somehow formed on the lens of his spectacles.

"Mamoru-san, please do not tease me." I smiled at Rei's pitiful grumble.

"Sorry, sorry." I waved a dismissive hand. "Rei-san's very cute, I couldn't help myself." He flushed again and Nagisa whined.

"Why does Rei-chan get all your attention!" Makoto chuckled from somewhere behind our ruckus.

"Not true!" I only grinned, peeling myself away from Nagisa in favor of my innocent cousin - to whom I clung to. I stuck my tongue out at Nagisa playfully. "Makoto's the one I love the most!" I blew a raspberry at the blonde childishly, thoroughly enjoying the expression tugging at his face. Makoto's face reddened and he seemed to radiate hopeful surprise.

"M-Mamo-chan-!" He yelped, his eyebrows disappearing behind the hairline green-brown stresses. "D-do you really mean that?"

I had only made the remark in a playful retort to provoke Nagisa, but as I looked up at Makoto's pleasant eyes, I realized with disillusion that I very much _did_ love Makoto. The reassuring ease that flooded me when I was with him was unworldly and comforting. With Makoto around, I didn't feel as sad. A few drawling minutes later, it sunk in that we were not alone, and I still did not answer. The lack of a quick-witted answer had drawn tension, the attention of Haruka, Nagisa and Rei solely focused on what I had to say.

I gulped down the uneasiness, heat creeping up my neck to settle on my cheeks, tinting them -no doubt- in a prominent, _very_ _visible_ red. "I-.." I blinked a few times. "Is it surprising?.." I whispered instead, not at all fond of the attention I was getting. That was more than enough for Makoto as he smiled happily.

"M-Mamo-chan!" He uttered instead. I was suddenly tackled by a fervent Nagisa, causing us to tumble backwards, my grip on Makoto's arm pried away with the force of Nagisa's weight.

"Gah!" I could only managed.

"So cute, Mamo-chan! You're _so cute_!" The blonde cried, nuzzling his face into my neck.

"Don't call me cute!" I retorted back, my complexion darkening into a deep shade of red. "N-Nagisa!" I tried to squirm away, but the boy hand a strong grip. I heard chuckling, both resonating from my cousin and Rei. I glanced at Haru for help, but even he was assessing my situation with a glaze of amusement in his eyes.

After everyone calmed down, and Nagisa finally released me of his suffocating hug, said boy grinned at me. "Ne~! Mamo-chan should start coming to our swim practices! Next week we're going to compete in a relay!" He exclaimed, his expression a little smug. "I want Mamo-chan to see me in action!"

"That's a great idea," Makoto seconded. "How about it, Mamo-chan? You can cheer us on!"

I blinked a few times. "Huh?"

Nagisa beamed. "Come, come! Mamo-chan you're coming!"

"Mamoru-san should be able to make her own decision, Nagisa-kun." Rei reprimanded. Nagisa pouted in response.

"Uh.." I blinked again. "Sure I guess."

"Yay!" Nagisa sang.

.

Gou-..er, _Kou_ Matsuoka was surprisingly stern as a manager. Coaching them individually - more so Rei, on forms, laps, and agility. A woman sat somewhere along the benches, a sun hat and sunglasses obscuring her mature face. She was snoring lightly, seemingly asleep and ignoring her duties as club supervisor. I was only half-glad that the teacher was as laid-back as she appeared, the other half worrying if she was properly suited to her job. Oh well, as long as she wasn't strict. A man, hair gelled and vibrant in color was also coaching them, his raspy voice strong and powerful, surprising me occasionally when I wasn't paying close attention. Ultimately, their training was more hardcore than I expected. Then again, I was a complete novice to the entire swimming world. Ask me about a Spiderlily or how much watering a tomato plant needed and I was your girl, granted what I had picked up observing my mother.

Watching the guys swim was something else entirely, especially Haruka. My eyes zeroed in on his form as he dove, the tips of his fingers dipping in before the rest of his angular body followed in one fluid motion. It was almost mesmerizing, and admittedly I could watch him non-stop if I were allowed too. I barely noticed Nagisa sneaking up on me until he threw his arms around me from behind, leaning heavily on me with a smile. He was panting and soaked from his laps around the pool, his wet skin dampening through the cloth of my uniform.

"Ne, Haru-chan's beautiful, huh?"

"Didn't know you swung that way." I bantered.

"Mamo-chan~!" He whined. "That's not what I meant! Haru-chan's swimming is beautiful, is what I mean!"

I looked over my shoulder, eyeing the boy latched onto me, not bothered by the close proximity. In reality I was merely 3 inches away from his face, his light panting fanning my skin hotly. His eyes were quite the interesting shade. In the light, they almost looked pink. "Maybe," I finally answered with a small, secretive smile. I glanced back at Nagisa. "Hazuki-kun's form is beautiful too." His face started to fill with a warm, peachy color, blood rushing behind the flesh of his cheeks slowly darkening the tint. Before he could add something, I looked back at him in a teasing manner. "Hazuki-kun's breath stinks! Gross." Nagisa's jaw-dropped before he started yelling at me. I laughed as I listened to his complaints, occasionally bickering back.

"Nagisa," Another voice interrupted us. I glanced back, seeing a blank-faced Haruka skidding to a halt. "Your turn."

Nagisa nodded before turning to me. He sent me one last pointed look and I laughed again. Haru stuck around as Nagisa snapped his pink goggles on, diving into the pool. I smiled as I watched him before turning to Haru. Not knowing what to say - seeing as I hadn't exactly had a one-on-one moment with him in the history of _ever_, I stayed quiet. Eventually, the awkwardness got to a point where I had to say something. _Anything_.

"You..-" I paused. "Uh.. what's.. up?" I said slowly. I felt his gaze on me, and I looked back at him. We stared at each other for a few moments, until I laughed out of sheer nervous-habit. "Haha... aha.. ha.. -_yeah_." I ended in an uncomfortable drawl. He was still staring at me mutely, not a flicker of emotion in though cerulean eyes. It was like talking to a rock. Or rather a wall. A white, blank, party-pooper of a wall. I decided to have fun with this, considering he wasn't going to say anything anyway.

"Bonjour! Comment vas-tu?" _Nothing_. "Holla mi amigo, como-estas?" _Nada_. I decided to try English. "[Why hello kind sir! How are you today?]" He blinked at me. [I'm sorry, I didn't get that!]" He blinked at me a few more times. I snickered a bit. Alright, I'm done.

"Hey, Haru?" I converted back to Japanese. "Can you say [I like sweaty donkey balls]?" He stared at me in apprehension. "It means 'I am apart of the swim team'." I supplied easily, trying to fight my treacherous smile.

"I likku tsuweti donki barusu." He repeated in butchered English.

By then I was already laughing like a mental patient as you can imagine.

Okay, okay - _now_, I'm done. Hopefully this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass, and if it did, it'd still be hilarious as fuck. I wiped a tear from my eye, shaking my head at my own humor. I _almost_ felt bad.

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	11. Chapter 11

**A/n: I'm dumb in the last chapter I put "relay" when it really was called "prefectural tournament" - if you got confused, my bad! Please REVIEW~! :) It inspires me.**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 10**

* * *

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I ended up arriving at the tournament 20 minutes late, but that didn't bother me. What bothered me was the absolute tension that overwhelmed the air when I got there. I had to cough loudly to get their attention.

"Where's Haru?" I asked curiously. Makoto jolted in surprise, spinning around to greet me.

"Mamo-chan!" He beamed. "You came!"

I shrugged in response. Nagisa pounced on me with a pout. "Hey, you're late!" He complained.

"You're noisy." I returned blandly. They were all wearing bright yellow shirts, including Gou. That supervisor lady was sitting somewhere along the bleachers, holding an umbrella to protect her pale skin.

"Haruka-senpai's race is about to start!" Rei informed, leaning over the railing excitedly. Nagisa diverted his attention from me to the pool below.

Makoto stared intensely at Haru, causing me to blink in confusion. The contestants lined up at their respective lanes, Haru -whom I recognized by the goggles, surprisingly- flicked a glance towards the boy who neighbored him. He seemed familiar. I racked my brain to find the identity of the mysterious boy. I eventually gave up, watching as the whistle erupted the silence in a piercing screech. They all plunged into the water, the boy who neighbored Haru getting to the other end surprisingly quick.

"Rin-chan got faster." Nagisa muttered. I rubbed my scar instinctively when I felt a sharp pain jolt my scalp.

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_"I'm Mamoru."_

_"Rin."_

_"...You gotta _**girl's **_name?!"_

_"Well, you have a _**boy's **_name!"_

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I massaged my forehead until the numbness ebbed away.

Was that another memory? I looked down just in time to see Rin and Haru get to the other side. They waited in anticipation until the scores broadcasted on the billboards.

Rin Matsuoka first.

Haruka Nanase second.

"Haru.. lost?" Makoto whispered in disbelief. I narrowed my eyes. Well, _everyone else_ lost. He got second place- what's so bad about that? Somehow the defeated looks of astonishment on everyone's faces told me different. I glanced down to see that-

_Oh shit, it's him!_

I blinked a few times in panic. Familiar red-hair tussled as that Matsuoka guy jumped with a victory yell. I could hear his hollering all the way from here! My attention was drawn to the bleachers which was filled with teenage boys cheering in success. It was those jumpsuit guys from that school! So it really wasn't a gym class, but rather a swim club.

"What are the odds." My cheeks warmed when I caught sight of that silver-haired boy. Nitori, I think his name was. _Shitshitshit_! I pulled out my phone, assessing myself through the reflection of the screen. Okay, all good. When I looked his way, he was already gone to see his teammate - Rin. My face fell, but I quickly regathered myself. Haru had disappeared somewhere, probably to go shower or something. The next race was Makoto's, which didn't start for another 20 minutes as everyone prepared themselves.

5 minutes later, the mood was dimmed, and I awkwardly felt left out. There was obviously some undercover baby-mama-drama going on, and I was mildly curious to find out.

"Oh, there you are!" Came the cheery exclamation of that blonde coach. "Sorry for being late!" He apologized lightly.

"Coach Sasabe.." Makoto greeted half-heartily.

"Where were you?!" Nagisa shot up with a glare. "You're late Goro-chan!"

"Thank you for the other day," The brunette teacher interrupted with a smile. I seriously got to start remembering names. She continued. "And I appreciate you taking the time from work to support us."

"Oh, it's no big deal." Sasabe laughed. He peered at her face for a moment. "I really think we've met before." He muttered after a minute. The expression on the teacher's face was quite interesting. It was a mixture of horror and surprise, misleading me to think she perhaps had a colorful past. Hm.

"N-no, I don't think so.." She said with a shaky smile, a clear give away. Maybe she used to be a stripper? That Sasabe dude _does_ look a little shady.

"Jeez, did you come here to hit on girls?!" Nagisa berated. I snickered at both the adult's faces.

They continued on in a conversation I didn't belong to, already stating the things I knew. After awhile, I noticed something was off with Gou-

"Wait-" I blinked. Gou _Matsuoka_. Rin _Matsuoka_-

What is this conspiracy?!

"What is it, Mamo-chan?" Makoto asked upon noticing my discomfort. I shook my head, inclining a glance at Gou. She was still staring dejectedly at her lap.

"Uh.. G-Gou-san?" I started in a small voice. She looked over at me in apprehension. "_Kou_-san," I corrected myself. "Please tell me you're not related to Rin Matsuoka..?"

She blinked. "He's my brother."

"Gah!" I held my head. "Why fate, _why_?!"

"Do you know Onii-chan, Mamoru-san?" She asked in surprise.

"Not essentially.." I muttered, scratching the back of my head. That seemed to catch everyone's attention. I gulped. "I thought I was never going to see him again, so.. uh.. we didn't get off on the greatest of impressions." I kept it at that. Makoto peared curiously at me.

"What did you do?" I laughed nervously at the caution in my cousin's voice.

"Nothing, nothing." That earned me a few curious looks. Thankfully Rei stole all the attention when he glanced at his watch in worry, speaking in a low voice.

"Haruka-senpai isn't back yet." He peared over his shoulder, eyes searching for the familiar teammate. Nothing. It irked me slightly, but I didn't want to stick my nose where it didn't belong.

"You're right.." Makoto agreed quietly, concern adorning his tanned face.

"He's probably taking a shower." Nagisa suppiled. Seemed logical.

"He's taking a long time though." Rei looked at his watch again. "I'll go check on him." He stood up, promptly walking away.

"Wait, Rei!" Makoto started, following his friend. Nagisa tagged along, calling after Makoto. I sat there, looking like an idiot. I didn't understand what was the big deal. What if he was naked and scrubba-dub-dubbing?

Should I follow them too? Did I want to see some Haruka-booty? Everyone else was doing it, and their guys-! No, don't fall into peer pressure! You're better than this, Mamoru! Must resist the temptation to see some ass-!

I had to blink a couple times before the random thoughts faded away. I ended up trailing after them anyway, curiosity a little more overwhelming than my willpower.

"Why are you stopping me?" Rei snapped. I hid behind a trash can. Just because I didn't want to get involved, didn't mean I didn't want to know what was going on - thus the result of hiding.

"Well, it's because.." My cousin trailed off.

"Calm down, Rei-chan." Nagisa smiled, his voice light.

"Aren't you worried about Haruka-senpai?"

I peaked from around the bin, watching like a stalker would it's prey. Rin emerged from down the hall, causing me to stiffen.

"Rin-chan!" Rin looked up, slightly surprised. "You guys." He spoke the words with little care. They were quiet, each of them staring at the other. I could sense the tension from miles away.

"Right, you're all in the swimming tournament." He looked away, his voice oozing boredom.

"Hey, Rin-chan, have you seen Haru-chan?" Asked Nagisa.

"Haru?" Rin echoed with a raised brow.

"He hasn't come back yet." The blonde explained.

Rin stared for a moment before smirking. "Was losing to me that much of a shock?" It was rhetorical, but the cockiness was prominent. "He's the one who said that he didn't care about improving his time or winning."

Rei blinked, bringing a fist to rest under his chin. "He's not upset about losing." He started with realization. I caught on, thinking it just as Rei had said it. "There must be some other reason."

"Hah?" Rin raised an eyebrow. "What else matters in swimming other than winning?!"

"Well, that's a little conceited." I muttered under my breath. Ever heard of the fun of it? I smacked a hand to my mouth. Thankfully no one noticed me. How awkward would _that_ be? While everyone's having this dramatic moment, I just pop out from behind a trash can like some stalker. Yeah, _that'll_ go well.

"There is more." Makoto's voice was unusually heavy, his lips thinned into a straight line. His voice surprised both boys. "At least, Haru thought there was more. That's why he wanted to race you." Rin's face was hard to describe from this angle. I'mma go with 'surprised'? Makoto continued. "And I'm pretty sure you're the one who taught him what that something was." I leaned a little more, now fully engrossed in this conversation. "When we swam in the relay in grade school, you-"

"What do I care?!" Rin snapped, cutting Makoto off.

Oh.

No.

He.

_Didn't_.

He did not just cut off my cousin. Someone, hold my earrings!

Okay, I seriously feel off today. And I'm not even wearing earrings.

"I beat Haru!" Rin growled. "That's all that matters." He shoved his hands in his pockets, walking forward. I scurried back from the trash can, trying in vain to hide. I hoped he was too blinded with anger to see me. I was so concerned in hiding I completely missed the rest of the conversation. Looking around, I noticed that I was alone in the hallway.

Ditchers..

Okay, that's irrelevant because they didn't even know I was there.

"That was a close one!" I whispered to myself.

.

For some reason I still followed Rin. Call it morbid curiosity or succumbing to my more impulsive side for a change, but for some inexplicable reason, I continued to stalk him. I was stealthy, I admit. Hell, if I wanted, I could pass for a pretty nifty spy. If I _wanted_, that is. So far it didn't seem as if he noticed me, or was aware at all of the possibility of someone stalking him. He turned a corner, and I scurried to the wall, peaking a look to see if the coast was clear.

Bad idea.

"Gah!" I stumbled back in surprise, landing on my butt with a thump. My heart rate took a spike in speed as green eyes clashed with fiery auburn. Rin was glaring at me fiercely, his nose wrinkled in a snarl, his sharp teeth bared.

"Why the hell are you following me." He demanded.

Shit! How obvious was I?!

I _knew_ I should've hid behind that bench!

He crossed his arms expectantly as I panicked.

When in doubt, lie!

"Pfft!" I snorted with a fake laugh. "_Whaaaaaaat_?" My voice pitched in volume. Rin's glare darkened. "Psh! I-.. aha, I wasn't following you!" I denied lamely.

"You're that girl!" He suddenly exclaimed.

"What girl?" I smiled nervously.

"That girl-! The one at the vending machine!"

"I don't even know what a vending machine _is_.." I looked away.

"Oi! Do you think I'm an idiot?!"

"..."

He growled at my silence, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Tch." He narrowed his eyes. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Why am I not here?" I countered.

"What?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"[Chicken butt.]" I automatically said in English. That didn't really work out well, considering 'what' is pronounced 'nani' here, my good-humor seemingly put to waste.

"[Are you an idiot?]" I froze. I stared at him in awe.

"You speak English too?!" I exclaimed excitedly.

Arrogantly, he ran a hand through his hair. "Naturally."

I smiled at little, and Rin seemed to regather himself - apparently not too fond with getting friendly with the enemy (or rather, just _me_ in general). He sent me a sharp look. "Why are you really here? Came to cheer for Nitori?"

"No?" I blinked. "I only just met Nitori-san, and you too- why would I want to cheer on people I barely know?" He wasn't the least offended by my bluntness. Instead he narrowed his eyes even more.

"Then why are you here?"

"Why _wouldn't_ I be here?" I answered with a question. He seemed frustrated.

"What kind of answer is that?! If you don't have a reason for being here, then leave!"

"Who said I didn't have I reason?" I asked innocently.

"Argh!" He face-palmed. "I don't have time for this." He growled.

"Yes you do." I stared at him. "Didn't you just finish your race?" I tilted my head curiously. He seemed momentarily surprised.

"You saw me..?"

"Yup." I shrugged. "You're really good."

He smirked. "Of course I am-"

"Too bad you're a bit of an asshole." I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. "It's fairly demeaning. You should work on your people-skills."

"..."

"..."

"..**_You little shit_**.." He growled darkly. I jolted. He's angry! Was I too blunt this time? There was a black, blazing aura surrounding him - sending alarming signals to get the _hell_ out of there.

"Well! Will you look at the time!" I shot up from my place on the ground, scrambling off in another direction. "See ya, shark-boy!"

"_OI!_"

.

"Mamo-chan!" Nagisa huffed. "You missed _me_ **_and_ **Mako-chan's race! Where were you?!" I noticed Haru was standing nearby, seemingly in a daze.

"Oh.. I was taming a beast."

"Taming a beast?! That's the worst excuse!" The blonde placed two hands on his hips, firing me an upset glare. I laughed, waving my hand dismissively. "I'll definitely watch you guys in the regionals, so don't worry!" Nagisa's vibrancy lessened. He sighed dejectedly.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Did you guys loose your race?" I guessed. Makoto sighed with a nod.

"If Rei wins his race, then he'll get into the regionals but.." He trailed off.

"Rei-chan will definitely win his race!" Nagisa said stubbornly, nodding to himself.

"It's starting..!" Makoto and the others gathered near the railing, cheering loudly for their teammate.

"GO, GO, GO, GO, REI!" I joined them, standing near Coach Sasabe. I noticed Rei's goggles had slipped off his face when he reemerged from the pool, taking in thick gulps of air before diving in again. I bit my lip before bellowing out with the rest of the Iwatobi swim club.

.

They lost, and even after everything - Haruka was no one where to be found. I ended up trudging home by myself, leaving Makoto's team behind with a sigh. Surprisingly, swim clubs were exciting, in contests that is. The adrenaline of anticipation was thrilling, thoroughly pumping me up when I cheered for them. Fortunately, while they did loose, they did get another chance to compete in a relay tomorrow - that is if Haru agrees. Gou had secretly enlisted them in one, and it was amusing to see their reactions when informed. If Haruka agrees, I'll definitely be eager to watch them all swim again.

That is _if_ Haruka agrees. I grimaced. Why'd he leave anyway? I understood everyone had their issues, and Haru was no different- but did he really have to leave? It wasn't my business in the first place - I thought to myself. What Haru did in his free time didn't concern me in the slightest, but I couldn't help think with a bitter grimace that it was rather selfish of him.

I sighed to myself, passing by Iwatobi high. Everyone else had all rushed to Haru's house - or somewhere. The sky was darkening and the stars started to twinkle. I stopped, thinking to myself carefully. It wouldn't hurt to see the school garden while I was in the area. With that thought in mind, I strutted nonchalantly towards the school. I rounded the back, entering the garden.

I beamed in astonishment. They were starting to sprout. My thoughts suddenly surrounded Atsuko. I hadn't seen her in a couple of days- she'd definitely be excited to see this on Monday! My mood dimmed, thinking of our last encounter. That's right, she had asked me about my scar, and I snapped at her.

I frowned. I kind of regretted it now, seeing as she was merely curious - but I wasn't going to apologize, that was for sure. Whether it be from pride, or bullheadedness.

I shook my head of my thoughts, turning around and heading home.

"Mamoru?" I jolted. The familiar voice giving me a scare. I looked at who called my name, blinking in surprise. Haruka stood there, the same solemn expression on his face, dressed like he was this afternoon. What the hell was he doing _here_? Shouldn't he be at home, talking with his team?

"Ah.." I masked my shock. "What're you doing here?"

Haru blinked. I stared at him. He was giving me a look.

"..."

"No-no!" I wiggled my finger at him pointedly. "Don't give me that look, I asked first."

"Pool." He answered vaguely. I blinked a few times. Well, that explained his wet hair. The damp stresses clung to his face, some droplets rolling down his cheeks and continuing down his collarbone. I realized he was waiting for my own explanation.

"I didn't say I was going to answer." I said simply with a shrug. Haru let out a barely audible sigh.

We stared at each other quietly. Awkward tension started to formulate. "So.. why'd ya leave earlier?"

He stared at me a bit more, causing me to look stupidly behind myself. I looked back at him. "..Pool." He answered again.

"Didn't you have enough in the tournament?" I teased.

His eyes narrowed, his jaw set in determination. "It's never enough." I was taken aback by his response. Who knew he was so passionate about.. _water_.

I tilted my head. "You're weird." He regarded me with a blank stare. "Hm." I hummed thoughtfully, a genuine smile tugging at my lips before I could stop it. "Maybe you're not so bad after all." I still thought he was a bit selfish though, but I think that rooted more from my concern of Makoto. I didn't like it when Makoto was worried- especially if the concern wasn't for me. It was totally unjustified, as well as my dislike of Haru, and I realized with a start that I had to mature and let it go. Makoto was with Haru longer than I ever was. If anything, Haru shouldn't like _me_. He probably didn't anyway.

We stared at each other a few more moments, until Haru looked away, his lips tugged down in a frown. I had to rub my eyes, because it almost looked like he was blushing from this angle. I blinked at him again, that faint hint of color in his cheeks dying away.

"See you," I said instead, walking in the direction of Makoto's house. The atmosphere was odd, a feeling of nostalgia radiating between us. The cause of it - I'll never know. But I did know, with those few words I spoke, _something_ had just shifted between us. It was like a sense of deja vu, and I kept asking myself if this scenario had happened before.

.

_"You said you don't like me."_

_"That-! Well-! ...If it's for Mako-chan, I'll play with you!"_

.

_"...For Mako-chan."_

.

.

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	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello everyone! Please review! This chapter is.. well, _yeah_. Some character insight, I guess. Tell me what you think! I also skimmed over the relay race because I'm pretty sure everyone had seen it already.**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 11**

* * *

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"_HELL_ _YEAH_!" I jumped up and down uncontrollably. Jittery with the win my cousin's swim team achieved through their amenable ambition. That teacher, who I recently learned is called Amakata-sensei, hugged Gou - both equally as excited as I. Nagisa pounced onto Haru, wrapping his legs around his torso, the victim complaining in retaliation. Makoto laughed and Rei clung to Haruka as well. I laughed at Haru's predicament from my stance on the bleachers. Makoto looked around wildly for a moment, his perceptive eyes searching for something. They settled on me, and he blinked a few times - recognition fluttering on his features. Embarrassment fizzled in my abdomen at being caught getting so excited. I could only imagine the goofy expression he probably saw. He chuckled and I felt heat creep up my neck, spreading to my cheeks. I gave him a little wave and his smile widened even more before returning the gesture and celebrating with his friends.

I scanned my surroundings, surprised to see a familiar head of red. I choked on my spit. _Matsuoka _was here? I watched him carefully. He was eyeing my cousin's swim club, expression intense - eyes tinge with envy. I blinked curiously. How peculiar.

Essentially it wasn't my business, therefore in retrospect; there are no fucks to be given today.

On the contrary, I had always been a little too curious for my own good. I'd either straightforwardly ask what was wrong or I'd try to cheer them up. Seriously, that's how I met the majority of my friends in the past. Usually by default they'd regard me in high standards and remember my name. Like this one time, this senior was supposedly having a bad day and was crying in the bathroom. I had an extra cookie from lunch and was just about to bite into it, but by some uncontrollable force - I gave it to her. Since then, she had remembered my name and would always ask me to hang out with her and the other seniors. I declined out of awkwardness, and I would admit a little fear. Hanging out with seniors was a whole new world.

A whole new world.

A dazzling place I never knew.

Okay, I'm done.

Controversially, that trait that I had no doubt inherited from my Tachibana lineage started to dissipate with the oncoming years that constrain me to adulthood. It was much more conspicuous in my younger days, and like a used light bulb - my instinctive urge to coddle the pitiful started to faded with time. It conclusion, I was much more colder than I ever was than - for example, 2 years ago. The weight of my mother's death is also a factor that had contributed to my selfishness, admittedly.

I blinked.

Since when had this turned into my internal musing? Boring! I thought I was contemplating whether or not I should ask Rin what was wrong.

"Mamo-chan!" I jolted in surprise. I looked around in disbelief. Everyone was starting to pack their things and leave, others were staying behind and obviously loitering - mostly contestants. Matsuoka had left, so _that_ opportunity had flown out the window. I glanced down at who called my name. Nagisa stood, with Makoto and the others who were dressed and waiting. I blinked a few times. Nagisa huffed, tapping his foot in disapproval. "Stop daydreaming already! We're leaving now!" I scurried to shove a hand into the sleeve of my sweater, almost tumbling over my own two feet in my haste to reach my acquaintances and cousin. Makoto caught me before I could fall, steadying me on my own feet.

"Thanks." I smiled sheepishly.

"It's fine." He returned the smile, albeit more warmly. I caught Haru staring at me and I sent him a nod.

"You guys were great out there." I said offhandedly. Nagisa beamed childishly.

"We saw you cheering for us! You were jumping up and down and screaming so loudly!" I glared, but the blush that started to bloom gave me away.

"That wasn't me!"

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The following day we had an assembly, congratulating the swim club of their success. I was somewhere in the back, a gray face in the background - yet Haru's eyes still found mine, withholding a short staring contest until his eyes fluttered away, staring distantly at something else of interest.

After the assembly, students dispersed to their classes, excluding the swim club. I decided to let them be, gauging the half-assed swimming club sign that overlapped the judo club sign. It still promoted it, so I wasn't complaining. I eventually entered my own classroom, settling in my seat beside Gou and continuing my day.

.

"Tachibana-senpai! They're starting to sprout!" Atsuko exclaimed. I smiled, already knowing this fact.

Seemingly, she had forgotten about the entire traumatic scar thing, and I was relieved. We watered the plants, and sat in the sun for awhile. Summer was fast approaching, the sun beating down on us in a senseless blaze. Atsuko quieted down, enjoying the calm afternoon.

"Senpai.."

"Mhm.."

"I'm sorry for prying the other day. I was just really curious."

My mood deflated at the direction this conversation was taking. "S'fine. Don't worry about it."

Atsuko's body language was unreadable. She opened her mouth, then closed it, then slumped her shoulders. Finally she turned towards me, and I waited patiently for the onslaught of whatever she was about to spew out.

"Senpai..!" I winced at her loud voice. "I'm glad you survived that car crash!"

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_I'm not_

.

I don't know what overcame me, but my mood darkened. Like a slap of reality to the face, I remembered. All those pent up feelings I locked away, rattling the cage like a raging beast. How could I have forgotten? My mother, my life, my lost memories.

"Senpai..?" Atsuko asked in a hesitant drawl. I sprung back to life and offered her a tight smile.

"It's nothing. Thank you, Takashi-san." She stared at me.

"Tachibana-senpai.." I glanced at her momentarily. She fixated me a small smile. "I was wondering.. You're from America, right?"

Well, I wasn't _born_ there, regardless I still nodded. She leaned in inconspicuously, a hand cupping over her mouth. "Have you ever.." She held an imaginary cup to her lips, empathizing on a drink. I rose an eyebrow.

"Are you talking about alcohol?" I asked bluntly. She jolted, looking around wildly before holding a finger to her mouth. "_Shh_!"

I ignored her. "Just because I was raised in America doesn't mean I drink. Not all teenagers are defiant."

"..But.. have _you_?"

"..."

"You _have_!"

"So? It was with my friends. We were having fun and everything was in a safe environment."

"But-but!" She gasped. I flushed, looking away. It was quiet for a moment. "..Was it fun?" She asked suddenly.

"What?" I blinked.

"Was it fun!"

I stared at her anticipating face. I laughed suddenly, slapping my knee. This was ridiculous! First she follows me because she thought I was a thug, now she wants to get faded? I chortled loudly, holding my sides. She gave me the impression of a shy school-girl, but she really is something else!

"Stop laughing!" She protested weakly. I calmed down, wiping a tear from my eye.

"Sorry Takashi-san, you're just something I never expected." She stared down at her knees. I rolled my eyes. "Calm down. Yes, it was fun - why? Do you want to do it?"

She gave a small nod. I chuckled again. She looked at me hopefully. "Can we do it at the festival?" She seemed nervous.

I rolled my eyes. "Takashi-san.. why are you doing this? I mean, you don't seem anything like the type of person you're trying to be. It's unsightly." Not to mention a little disturbing. Times have really changed. She flinched, and I revised my question, trying to pin-point what I had exactly said something that was harsh. I really had to work on being a little less brutally honest. Then again, honesty was the best policy. Just look at Simon Cowell!

Hm. Bad example.

"Tachibana-senpai, I wish to be different!" I blinked, reminding myself that I was in another's presence. "I want.. I want to be a little wild for a moment. In a couple of years we'll be adults.. and I want to be free until then." I stared at her dubiously, cautiously scanning her for any lies. She was telling the truth. I sighed.

She continued. "Tachibana-senpai is different! You're.. exciting and new!"

"Hardly." I snorted.

"Eh?"

"You shouldn't be so quick to judge, kid." I shrugged, uncaring if I had shattered my reputation. "Before I moved here, I'd be in my room every time I wasn't at school. It was my friends that would convince me to hang out with them every once and awhile. Yeah, I might've done some things I wouldn't mention to people of authority, and yes I wouldn't get caught - but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm exciting and new. I'm just a teenager like you. Stupid and young."

Atsuko stared at me with a new expression, but it wasn't one of dejection. She was _grinning_. She pounced onto me, latching onto my arm. "Teach me Tachibana-senpai!"

"Eh?!" I tumbled back from the force of her weight in surprise. This was not the reaction I wanted at all. "G-get offa me!"

"Senpai, please teach me to be stupid and young like you!"

"What the hell?!"

.

"How did it end up like this?"

"What do you think, Tachibana-senpai?!" Atsuko twirled excitedly, striking a pose. She really was much more eccentric than I assumed. She was wearing a dark, mature yukata. I tried to rack my brain on why exactly she was on my doorstep, dressed up like some geisha hooker, and_ how the hell_ she found out where I lived. I heard Makoto saying something about a festival. What was it called again..? Hachimama? Haichiman..? ...Hachimana? I really need to start remembering names. This is getting disappointing.

"Huh? Why aren't you ready?" She exclaimed. I blinked.

"Because I was going to chill today."

"Tachibana-senpai!" She complained. "I thought I told you to get ready! We were going to do the.. _youknow_.." She did the weird imaginary cup thing again, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh?" I tilted my head. "I must have tuned you out when you said that. Sorry." Not to sound sarcastic, but I'm being genuine when I said that. That was usually when I got bored of someone's voice. It was a subconscious thing, really. I wonder if I can blame it on my brain-damage?

Anyhow, Makoto had asked me if I wanted to go with him, and I declined - mostly because I didn't want to rain on his parade of friends. He left not too long ago, with Nagisa in tow. Atsuko's gasp brought me out of my reverie.

"Senpai! That's mean!" I shrugged.

"Fine, fine, I'll get ready."

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When we arrived at the festival, close to the train station, I was slightly surprised with the amount of squid stands. Atsuko seemed excited, for obvious reasons. I had just noticed the bag she had been carrying, and I sighed. We escaped the festival to a more secluded area, pointedly avoiding any familiar faces we caught glimpses of. We ended up climbing up a long set of stairs, surrounded by shrubbery and nature. I scowled as I slapped a few mosquitoes away, but brightened when I saw the glimpse of the festival we had. The lights gave us a warm glow, and I watched in fascination of all the people that had came in yukatas. It almost made me wish I owned one. I had instead trudged out with a grey sweater and skinny jeans.

Atsuko smiled before sitting at the edge, her legs dangling from below the railing. I joined her and unzipped the bag she withheld.

"Holy shit." I blinked. I stared at my kouhai accusingly. "Where'd you even get this?"

Atsuko laughed nervously. "My older cousin got it. I gave her the money, and she got it for me. I gave her a little extra not to blab."

"Takashi-san.. you really _are_ a badass." That seemed to boost her confidence and she held up a Smirnoff in the air. I rolled my eyes and raised one as well. The bottles clinked as we cheered. She opened both of ours and I took a swing.

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"Okay-okay!" Atsuko giggled. "I dare you to.. to _twerk_!"

"_Hell _to the no!" I snorted, the alcohol giving me a pleasant flush to my face. Both Atsuko and I had split 8 bottles evenly. 4 for her, 4 for me. Somehow we had gotten a little more than buzzed, and I could admit that I felt as if I was queen of the world at this moment. It felt good, to let go of everything. To not worry about anything. Atsuko seemed to be in the same stupefied state as I was, causing us to both be thrown into laughing fits for what felt like hours.

We were currently playing a game of truth or dare, and things seemed to escalate as the game progressed.

"You _have_ to!" Atsuko slurred. "You made me lick the ground!"

I cackled wildly, slapping my knee. Atsuko laughed too, just as enthusiastically. "I-" I wheezed. "I didn't think you'd.." I laughed again, snorting like a piglet every time. We were both thrown into another laughing fit. Eventually, when I realized laughing this hard was hindering my breathing, I calmed down. Atsuko followed suite. "Alright.. you have to kiss the first person you see..!"

"On the lips?" I looked over at her lazily.

"Yes!" Atsuko giggled.

I sent her a crooked smile. I puckered my lips. "Not me!" Atsuko laughed, playfully nudging me away. I sent her a pout. We heard far off footsteps and I glanced at the stairs, seeing the silhouette of my cousin and Haru.

"Oh.._shit_.." I snorted. I looked over at Atsuko and scrambled to my feet. "We gon' _die_ bitch!"

I laughed at my own joke and pulled a senseless Atsuko into the bushes. We giggled, tangled in each others limbs as we lay in the shrubbery. We waited and listened to the voices. Eventually Makoto left to get a drink and I snickered to myself. I felt Atsuko's breath on my neck and uttered another mirthful chortle. Somehow everything was funny in my drunken state.

"_I know where you live_-" Atsuko slapped a hand to my mouth, cutting me off from my creepy, random drawl. Fortunately, that didn't catch the attention of the swimmer, who was seemingly lost in his thoughts.

I grinned and Atsuko giggled. I stared at her lazily, and she returned the eye contact. Makoto returned, and they seemed to be quiet for a moment before Makoto starting speaking again.

"You know what I should do..?" I whispered. Atsuko blinked.

"I should.." I started snickering. "I should kiss _Makoto_.. as the dare.. he'd be like.. 'what the fuck Mamo-_chaaan_'?" I purposely deepened my voice at the impersonation. Atsuko started laughing at my stupid ass joke, and I snickered as well. I put a hand to her mouth to suppress the maniacal laughter, but it was too late. We were already laughing our asses off.

"M-Mamo-chan?!" Nagisa was the first to find us. Somehow that made me laugh harder.

"Mamo-chan! What are you doing here? I thought.."I heard my cousin's voice trail off. "Mamo-chan, are you alright?" I couldn't breathe, I was laughing too much. My face was red and I rolled around, slapping the dirt in agony.

Finally, I calmed down, giggling every minute or so. Atsuko had calmed down awhile ago, and was grinning at me toothily. "You're crazy, senpai.."

I started laughing again. Makoto sighed, and finally Rei voiced his concern.

"You guys.. smell like alcohol." Atsuko started giggling as I came back to my senses.

"Fuck yeah.." I sent him a gang sign, puckering my lips. "Thug life."

"Mamo-chan," Makoto said seriously. "Where did you get this?" He knelt in front of me, plucking an empty bottle from the ground. I blinked slowly at my cousin, my eyes pin-balling between the empty Smirnoff and Makoto's troubled, steady gaze.

"I got it because.. I found.. the muffin man." He sweatdropped. I glanced at Haru.

"What's up homie?!" I gushed at him. I rose to my feet, stumbling a bit as I made my way to the swimmer. "Yo.. you know.. you have pretty eyes? Shh! Don't tell Haruka-san..! It's a _secret._" He seemed taken aback and looked to Makoto for help. I felt strong arms catch me when I stumbled again. I looked up to see Makoto's concerned and disappointed face.

"We're taking you home."

"We'll assist your friend home as well." Rei chimed. I looked over at Atsuko to see her nearly falling asleep, standing up as well. I whistled at her and she jolted awake.

"Tachibana-senpai?" She hummed. She met my gaze and frowned. Fat tears welt up in her eyes suddenly. "Senpai!"

"Takashi-san!" I wailed, just as desperate. We hugged and I heard a chorus of sighs. Before I could look back though, I felt a soft pressure against my lips. Atsuko was kissing me. I blinked until she pulled away. I glanced back at Makoto and beamed.

"I got a kiss!" The boys seemed to have all the same reaction. Wide-eyed, shocked and blushing - albeit in their own ways. I frowned. Atsuko's hug tightened and I felt the same pair of lips on mine again. This time Haru broke it up.

"Enough." He said in his usual calm, passive voice. He held me by the shoulders, sending the younger girl a pointed glance. Haru steered me away from my horny kouhai, and into Makoto's vicinity. I looked over at Atsuko and waved happily. We all started to walk down the stairs again, Haru a wall that kept me at bay from Atsuko's advances.

Down, back in the company of the festival did we finally stop. "Bye-bye Tachi-senpai.." Rei and Nagisa were both walking her home.

"Bye.." I returned in my daze.

Makoto seemed thoughtful. "Haru-chan.." He motioned his best friend over. "We can't let my parents see Mamo-chan like this. Not only for our sake, but for hers as well."

"I understand." Haruka nodded, eyeing me carefully.

"Can you guys tell me secrets too?" I whispered, loudly. Both boys sweat-dropped.

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"Why ar' we goin' to.. to Haruka-san's place..?" As the night carried on, I found it a bit harder to formulate proper sentences that didn't make me dizzy. I wanted to sleep, but at the same time, my body didn't allow it. I distantly wondered if this would affect my brain damage? Actually, getting drunk with amnesia isn't the smartest decision I've made. It's not like I have much brain cells to spare haphazardly. Then again, I couldn't find the will to really care.

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_Fuck it all_

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"We're going to sleep there for tonight," Makoto explained shortly.

"..Are you mad at me, Mako?" I blinked at him, my happy drunk mood dampening into something less than pleasant.

"No, why would you think that?" He glanced at me in surprise.

"Because.. I just ruined your night. And.. I moved here.." I mumbled. "I'm burdening you.. aren't I? You.. you want to be with your friends but.." My breathing faltered. I was overwhelmed with depreciating emotion. "_Stupid!Stupid! _I'm so stupid!" I started hitting my head in anger. "I'm sorry! I'll leave you alone from now on." I sniffled and turned on my heel. A hand caught my wrist, stopping me from leaving. I glanced over my shoulder to see Haru. Makoto placed two firm hands on my shoulders. How'd he get in front of me so fast?

"Mamo-chan, you would never be a burden. I'm happy that you returned back to Iwatobi!" He reassured, his face contorting in worry. "You're just a little drunk. In the morning you'll feel better, alright?"

I completely ignored him. "Can I hold your hand?"

He sighed, but an amused smile still tugged at the corner of his lips. His much larger hand slipped into mine and I stared at it stupidly. I looked up at him and he smiled at me. I motioned him to come closer, causing him to comply. I kissed the corner of his mouth, nuzzling my nose next to his for a moment. I pulled away. "I love Mako-chan the most." I mumbled softly into his arm.

"M-Mamo-chan!" He blinked rapidly in his fluster. I looked over at Haru, who was staring at us bemusedly. My hand reached for his, my fingers weaving through the spaces of his own. I leaned up, but ended up kissing the shell of his ear. His eyes widened a bit, which I didn't regard at all. I leaned back onto Makoto, trusting him to guide the way as my eyelids fluttered close.

"Haru-chan's okay, too."

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	13. Chapter 13

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 12**

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My body felt like lead when I roused from my deep slumber. There was a sharp pain nagging at my temples. I massaged them to ebb the pain away. Somehow, I don't even remember how I got on a bed. Or was it a bed? I peeled an eye open, blinking away the fogginess. Nope. I was on a couch. It was comfy though. I tried to succumb to the allure of unconsciousness again, but fate had not granted me such privilege. It took me a full five minutes to realize that I was not in Makoto's house.

"Shit..." I groaned, my voice hoarse from disuse. Did I go home with someone last night? Please don't let it be a creepy old man. The waft of something frying caught my attention. Okay, this person was making food. If they made some for me, I think I can forgive them for stealing my virginity. Bonus points if it's good.

"Mamo-chan..?" Cooed a familiar voice. I rubbed the crud from my eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the face which was hovering over the end of the couch. It was Makoto. Finally, memories from last night invaded my mind. I smiled a bit. That was, admittedly, very fun. I hadn't had that much fun in awhile. Makoto spoke again, albeit a little more softly.

"Mamo-chan, how are you feeling?"

"Like shit." I grumbled.

He let out a sigh. His mood was a bit unreadable. He offered me a smile. "Haru-chan's making breakfast. Mackerel; do you want some?"

"Macaroni..?" I tried to organize my thoughts. The pounding headache and tummy ache weren't helping.

Makoto smiled. "_Mackerel_. It's a type of fish."

Who the hell has fish for breakfast?

Oh right, Asians.

I cleared my throat. "Mhm.. sure, why not?"

"Alright, come sit with us." He outstretched his hand, offering me some leverage to hoist myself up. I took it, almost stumbling into his chest. I groaned, rubbing my forehead when I felt a pang of sharp pain protruding from my scar. Makoto frowned.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked tentatively.

"Yeah, just a little hungover is all." At my statement, he seemed a bit uncomfortable.

"D-d you need some aspirin?" He asked nervously.

"No, it's not that bad." I waved off.

He lead me to the table, which we had to sit on the floor for. What were those called again? Tatami tables? I dunno. I'm not all that familiar with my own culture. Never really paid mind to those types of things, unless I was trying to impress my friends with my authentic Asianness. Haru placed a plate in front of me, and I blinked groggily at it. Using two chopsticks, I dug in. Hell, the food could have been a child's dismembered foot - and I would have still ate it. Surprisingly, it was good. I finished it in less that 5 minutes, to the other boys surprise.

"Uh.." Makoto spluttered. "Do you want more?"

I nodded, a little more awake than I was before. Food, glorious food. Wondrous food. Magical food. Haru plucked my plate off the table and returned shortly with more Mackerel. I beamed at him, with a grateful "thank you". He nodded, watching as I devoured it again. Makoto chuckled warmly.

After my third plate and two full glasses of juice, my stomach sung in happiness, bloated and full. I exhaled a happy breath, patting my tummy subconsciously. "I think I'm going to marry Haruka-san when I'm older." I meant it as a joke, and Makoto chuckled. Haru sent a small glare at me before looking away, his cheeks flushing that peachy, warm color.

"School's going to start soon." Makoto looked to his watch in surprise. He looked at me. "Mamo-chan, we'll both go home to get ready, then come back here, alright?" I nodded and Makoto hefted himself up. Eating helped my tummy ache lessen, though that sharp headache still drilled into my temples. I sighed, rubbing them in therapeutic motions until the feeling faded away. With my eyes closed, I walked into the wall accidentally.

"Mamo-chan?!" My cousin hovered over me like a doting hen. "Are you alright? Are you sure you don't want an aspirin?" He placed a hand to my forehead. "You're burning up! Maybe you should stay home?"

I sighed, calmly taking his hand in mine. "It's fine Makoto.."

"It's _not_ fine!" He exclaimed suddenly. I looked over at him in surprise. He continued. "What you did last night.. it was reckless." He murmured. "It could hinder your ability to remember. It could've sent you into a coma! What if something happened to you? Please take better care of yourself, Mamoru." The intensity with which he spoke made my heart exhilarate, pounding harshly against my ribs. Not knowing this sudden emotion, as overwhelming as it was, I did the only thing I knew well. I shut him out.

"Thank you for your concern, Makoto. It's fine. And even if it's not. _I'm fine_." I detected the barest hint of hurt when I snatched my hand away, as if it burned from his touch. Even when guilt started to eat at me, I forced the barrage of emotions down my throat with a thick gulp. I needed space right now. This thing forming between us - this _attachment_ needed to be severed.

"Mamoru," It was his voice that caused me to halt when I took a step back. I had almost forgotten we were in his presence, which was stupid considering we were in his house. "Makoto's right. Your memory loss will only worsen if you keep doing such reckless things."

I sent Makoto a disbelieving stare. "You _told_ him?" My voice was trembling with betrayal. Makoto's eyes widened, and he shook his head, opening his mouth to object.

Haru spoke up. "Makoto didn't say anything. I figured it out." That seemed to sedate my frantic thoughts a bit, if not heightening my anxiety. Makoto's expression was a mixture of hurt and worry. I stared down at my feet. Haru continued speaking, which was a bit surprising considering this was the most I've ever seen him converse.

"If you won't take care of yourself, then we will." The determination buried underneath the declaration was bold. It made me wonder, what exactly had gone on when we were children. I looked up at him, my eyes widening a fraction. I almost let myself believe, almost let myself hope. But then reality's unsympathetic hand slapped me, telling me things were different now. _I_ was different now. A bud of doubt started to sprout, the curl of it's cruel vines intertwining with my limbs, stretching and tangling me in it's distrust. A hiss, so low, so tempting, whispered against the shell of my ear.

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_Liar_

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I visibly flinched, my throat tightening. The high of my foolish hope spiraled down relentlessly. This wasn't a soap opera. This _wasn't_ a perfect world.

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_They'll only leave in the end_

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In life, you've got to expect the unexpected, prepare for the worst, and to save yourself the hurt - keep your distance.

With renewed resolve, my thoughts started to reorganize itself, festering off of that one motto. My gaze hardened, but that didn't stop the stinging to my eyes, or the odd taste of bitterness on my tongue. I sent both males a fake, strained smile, "Thank you for your concern. But it's not needed. I will take care of myself, so don't burden yourselves with such a task. Goodbye." I nodded to myself, turned on my heel, slipped my shoes on, and promptly exited the house with a thrust of the door. Both Makoto and Haru winced at the slam.

This was the right thing to do, I told myself.

* * *

The walk to school was silent, tension thick and prominent. Even Makoto, who would usually use this opportunity to soothe out the stifling hush with the baritone of his voice was quiet and awkward. Haru was as indifferent as always, and Mamoru was ignoring everything. Faintly, he knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to distance herself again, which would utterly dissolve any progress they had made. It was back to step one, and even though he wanted to speak to her - to try and smooth out any differences they might have - he knew it was too soon.

"It.. sure is nice out, huh Mamo-chan?" He started hesitantly.

She didn't even spare him a glance. "I suppose."

He sighed heavily. Upon nearing the school, a familiar head of brown rounded the corner. Atsuko Takashi. The first year perked up at seeing Mamoru.

"Tachibana-senpai! Oh, another Tachibana-senpai!" Makoto smiled faintly at the younger girl. "Senpai, how are you feeling?"

Mamoru grumbled something under her breath. "Like someone made ground meat out of my brain. You?" Makoto sent his younger cousin a concerned glance, which she blatantly ignored.

Atsuko giggled. "Same! Say, did your parents punish you too?"

That seemed to be the wrong choice of words, as a blank expression fluttered before it was replaced with a fake smile. Makoto was staring worriedly, knowing full well what had happened. Haru was also observing her from the corner of his eyes.

"Something like that." She said lightly. Atsuko didn't notice her changed demeanor.

"They're the worst, right? I just wanted to have a little fun. My mom made me clean the toilet, then the backyard." She pouted obliviously. "I guess it was alright though, since I applied the gardening techniques you showed me."

"Mamo-chan, do you want to come to the swim club after school?" Makoto asked suddenly, trying divert the direction of conversation elsewhere.

"Huh?" Atsuko blinked. "But we have gardening club after school.."

Makoto smiled evenly. This time Haru intervened. "I was going to show her how to swim freestyle. She'll have to skip." Atsuko, slightly intimidated by the upperclassmen, resigned with a quiet sigh.

"Fine.." She smiled at Mamoru. "Don't worry senpai! I'll keep everything in tact!"

"Don't mess it up." Mamoru warned jokingly. Atsuko nodded furiously. "Of course, senpai!"

With the other girl gone and retreating to her class, both Makoto and Haru let out a breath of relief. "You didn't have to do that." Mamoru murmured. "But thank you regardless." She said airily. Without so much as basic eye contact, nor a proper good-bye, she left. Haru stared at her back, contemplating whether his next moves would be justified or not. Before he could do anything, Makoto smiled at him reassuringly.

"I think we should give her some space for now, hm?" Haru eyed his best friend warily.

"Makoto," Said boy blinked in surprise. "How bad is it?"

Makoto grimaced a bit. "Amnesia. A few days ago.." He started hesitantly. "A few days ago she remembered something. She remembered that I was afraid of the ocean. I think with time it could slowly come back to her.. but.."

Haru nodded, a deep frown spoiling his usually passive expression. Makoto sighed, disappointment in his voice. "Mamo-chan is really different now." He commented. "I heard she didn't attend her mother's funeral either." He stared off into the distance, a conflicted expression on his face. Haru was watching him closely. He sent the other swimmer a smile. "Let's go, Haru-chan."

"Mhm." He nodded.

* * *

Just when I was about to meet up with Atsuko for gardening club after school, two pairs of arms locked with my own. I yelped in surprise, looking wildly at the perpetrators. Nagisa and ...**_Haru_**? He blinked at me, a disinterest expression on his face. My eyebrow twitched. I decided to question Nagisa instead.

"Oi! What the hell?!"

"You can't go to your club today, Mamo-chan!" The blonde beamed.

"Aha.. sorry about this Mamo-chan..!" Makoto waved at me with a nervous smile. He didn't look sorry_ at all_. I gave him the stink eye. He was sweating nervously. "Takashi-san isn't expecting you today, so I thought it would be better if you spent time with us at practice as planned.. aha.."

"Yeah, yeah!" Nagisa seconded. "We're going to practice hardcore until regionals! Doesn't Mamo-chan want to see us win?"

"What does that have to do with _me_?!" I growled. "I'm probably just going to sit around and watch. I'd rather be doing something productive, which I could be doing at the gardening club!" I tried to squirm out of their grips, but they didn't even wince, nor budged. In fact, they started walking in the other direction to their swim club!

"No way!" Nagisa protested with a frown. "You'd probably get drunk again and start kissing everyone like last night!"

"I didn't kiss anyone!" My face started to heat up in embarrassment.

"Liar, liar pants on fire!"

"Argh! _She_ kissed _me_, ya know! Other than that, I didn't kiss anyone!"

"Actually," Makoto chuckled. "On our way home, you kissed me and Haru-chan."

"What?!" I didn't remember _that_. That-! Well, okay I _do_. But it was in the moment! A one time thing! Never ever again!

Nagisa whined. "Mamo-chan kissed you guys?! What about me? That's not fair!" My face most likely resembled a tomato at this stage, humiliation dawning on me.

"Let me go!" I hissed like a seething cat. They ignored me, blatantly at that.

"Don't worry Mamo-chan!" Nagisa started suddenly. "You won't be sitting around, I'm sure you can come in too!"

My teeth clenched, and I looked away pointedly. Nagisa peered curiously at me. "Ne, do you know how to swim?"

"Of course I do!" I snapped quickly.

"Then you can practice with us!" He beamed.

Somehow I knew I didn't have a choice.

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"That's not cute at all, Mamo-chan!" Nagisa pouted. I glared at him.

"I didn't realize I was going to a fashion show, please excuse me." I feigned my shock. He smiled in response. I was wearing an extra pair of male swimming trunks, along with a spare red t-shirt I had dug out from the school's lost and found. I haven't had the time of shaving my legs, nor am I that confident to flash the tiny stretch marks on my thighs with wearing a one piece.

Besides, I had always worn a t-shirt when going swimming. Let me tell you, one time I had forgotten my bathing suit when my mom took me to the local swimming pool. So my mom told me to just go in with my shorts, because it didn't matter. Note that I was young, therefore was as flat as a board. So I went in shirtless and a boy thought I was another boy. I ran crying to my mom and pulled on my shirt. A traumatic experience, I tell you. Although I've gotten over it, I still found t-shirts more comfortable and secure.

"Mamo-chan, it's rude to ignore someone when they're talking!" Nagisa's hollering from inside the pool snapped me from my thoughts. I shook my head from my reminiscing. I fixated the blonde with a blank look. Before I could retort, he had snatched my foot from his place in the pool, dragging me in as I tripped.

I reemerged, wiping dark locks of hair away from my face, coughing out any water I might've swallowed. Green eyes glared darkly at pink. I splashed him huffily. He laughed and raised his hands to shield his face. He returned to assault, and at that I declared war.

He dove into the water, and I looked down to see the outline of his body before slippery fingers curled around my ankles. I gasped automatically, trying to kick away, but it was too late, Nagisa tugged down firmly and I was forced under the small body of water. I held my nose, taking a deep breath in preparation. Underwater, I felt Nagisa's body against mine, arms wrapping around me impetuously. With my eyes shut tightly, I felt something akin to lips against the corner of my mouth. With the need for air burning my lungs, we both floated towards the surface. I coughed, sweeping away stubborn strands of hair from my face. Nagisa suddenly laughed, and I glared at him.

"Don't do that!" Heat started to fill in my face, and the blonde _giggled_.

"Now it's fair." He teased. I narrowed my eyes at him. I splashed him unexpectedly. He gurgled out the water and sent me a crossed look. I laughed with a snort. My spirits started to lift, as if this morning never happened.

Kou came stumbling in, doubled over and panting.

"Big news!" She huffed. "My brother's swimming in the relay at regionals!"

"What?!" Everyone gasped. Although I was still trying to keep my distance, I glanced over at Haru to see a genuinely surprised expression. It took me five minutes to realize Gou- er.._Kou_ was Matsuoka's sister, and with that, I stupidly choked on my own spit. "What!"

And deservingly, I got some looks from my late reaction.

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	14. Chapter 14

**A/n: So on November 14th my internet is going to be out. For how long, I dunno. Updates after then will be not as frequent, depending if I can maybe upload it from another computer or so. That being said, I'mma go ham and update as much as I can! Hopefully I'll be able to finish this fic by that time! I'll try to write a chapter everyday, but again REVIEWS really inspire me! Please keep them coming, and I'll keep the chapters coming! Even the simplest of reviews help! Selfish, I know, but I can't help it!**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 13**

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After the announcement of Matsuoka's involvement in the relay at regionals, that seemed to motivate each of the Iwatobi swim club members resolve. With the big day closing in, they practiced constantly, working hard and thoroughly to get into top shape. Mamoru watched, seemingly mesmerized by how well they worked as a team. Unfortunately, she was dragged to another practice to Atsuko's dismay. How she even agreed to it was beyond her, but her complaints died prematurely when she saw Makoto's kind smile. Even the evilest of hearts couldn't resist his pureness. Mamoru had a sinking feeling that he may have been remotely aware of his .._influence. _

Coach Sasabe was again present, dictating them on their form and speed. He really was a good coach, Mamoru thought grimly, but he seems a bit too enthusiastic for my tastes. As the grown man berated them with his raspy, strong voice, he finally brought out the big guns. Cameras. Nearly 5 of them positioned in ways that would capture each swimmers faults and strengths through the pool. It was inspiring, and even if she denied it, she did enjoyed watching them.

As hard as she also tried to play it off, she had noticed something off with Rei. Her classmate seemed too quiet, even a bit down. Somehow Haruka had also detected the slight change in his friend's demeanor. Mamoru debated whether she should say something, until a tiny voice cooed to leave it be. He was practicing right now, and it wasn't her problem. She rather liked Rei, but she wasn't emotionally attached to him, and nor was he to her. Asking him of his troubles would be meddling, and that was a trait she'd rather not develop.

She sat with Gou, watching in interest of the footage captured of each swimmer. Her eyes lingered on Haru's video longer than she intended. Her eyes traced the sculpted muscles bemusedly. She heard the slap of wet feet against pavement. A presence hovered near her, and Mamoru flinched instinctively. Haru stood behind her, watching his footage carefully. Assessing his form and what could be improved and worked on. He leaned in subconsciously, his face elevating closer to Mamoru's. She stared at him, his calculating expression, his narrow features, a defined jawline, pretty deep cerulean irises, thin pink lips-

Haru seemed to realize someone was staring at him, and his eyes flickered to hers in a silent question. She blinked at him, he mirrored the look. With another blink, Haru turned around, walking back to the pool. Her eyes followed his form, trailing down the firm muscles, tarrying the indents of his back dimples to the back of his swimming trunks._ And damn that's a tight-_

_No!_Mamoru inwardly cringed. _Do not trek into dangerous waters._

She slapped a hand to her eyes, obscuring the view of Haru's bottom. When she heard the familiar splash, she knew he had dove back to his sanctuary of water. Hesitating slightly, she peeled away one clammy finger to make sure Haru was actually _in_ the pool and away from her lingering eyes.

"Um, Mamoru-san..?" Said female jolted in surprise. She spun around to greet Rei, her hands behind her back. "What're you doing?" At his question, her eyes immediately dropped to his chest, peering and glancing at every carve of muscle and beauty mark on the peachy torso. And as much as she tried to suppress the perverted urge, her green orbs shot downwards to his crotch. "M-Mamoru-san!" Mamoru finally broke out of her trance, realizing that Rei was _utterly_ aware of her gaze. Self-consciously, he crossed two muscular arms across his chest. His face was warming into a brilliant shade of red and Mamoru was sure she was the same.

"S-sorry! I-I mean! I didn't mean to-!" She started to laugh out of nervous habit. "I'm sorry!"

"What's going on?" Asked Makoto, curious of the sudden scene taking place. Mamoru turned around, about to explain but her eyes found perked, pink nipples. They were hard from the exposure of the pool's cool temperature. "Mamo-chan!?"

"_Shit_. Sorry!" She slapped two hands to her eyes, blocking her vision. He was her _cousin_ for Chrissake!

"Mamo-chan! You're such a pervert!" Nagisa jeered with a laugh. Makoto sighed.

It was Amakata who intervened. She smiled warmly. "Being surrounded by boys 24/7- it's only natural for a lady to be overwhelmed at times. There was a saying, '_a girl_-"

"I'm not overwhelmed!" Mamoru interrupted, fluster evident in her near squeak. "I just.. it was an accident..!"

"An accident that happened three times?" Dripping went and bored-faced, it was Haru that commented, surprisingly. Mamoru looked away pointedly.

"_Three_ times?! Na Mamo-chan, you really _are_ a pervert!" The blonde puffed out his chest with a wide smirk, hands placed on his waist. "I'll let your eyes wander on me, so you don't have to hide it anymore!" Mamoru's eyebrow twitched, her eyes narrowed. She snatched the towel around Haru's neck, it was damp - just as expected. She rolled it up and slapped the blonde swimmer with a snap of her wrist. Nagisa yelped when he felt the sharp sting of the wet towel. She did it again, and Nagisa started run in the other direction, an annoyed Mamoru not too far off. The sound of Nagisa's yelps drowned out the laughter in the background.

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After swim practice, everyone was invited back to Coach Sasabe's house for dinner.

"Are you sure you don't want to come, Mamo-chan?" Makoto asked gently, a persuading look of concern on his face. Mamoru glanced away, know full well that she wouldn't be able to resist if she saw that face. She was, after all, trying to keep a healthy distance between herself and the others. "Coach Sasabe's cooking is really good." He tried again. Realizing that he was, in fact, trying to rekindled the relationship they had, her stubbornness reared it's impenetrable head. When she wanted something, she knew what buttons she needed to press, and if that didn't work, persistent determination was her immediate fallback. Unfortunately for him, his subtle manipulation did not work when she dug her heels in, refusing to move.

Somethings never changed, he thought. He'd have to reach for another card. Before he could think of something, she shrugged on her bag, plucking her iPod out, headphones now hanging around her neck. "I'll see you later." She murmured.

"W-wait!" Makoto blurted in panic. She glanced at him. Not being able to think of something, he sighed, giving up. "Never mind." He couldn't completely extinguish the disappointment in his voice. "See you at home.." He said instead, rather lamely.

"Mhm." Was her distant response. As she placed on her headphones to hug the top of her head, her back started to get smaller and smaller with each step she took.

"Huh? Mamo-chan's leaving?!" Nagisa suddenly appeared. Makoto nodded before sending his friend a smile. It was quiet for a moment, then he sighed.

"Let's go catch up with the others."

* * *

Granted when I got back to the house, I was bombarded with the hollering of my smaller cousins. I ended up getting dragged to their room. Two single beds at each corner of the room. It was messy. Ran's stuff was branded in pink and girlish stuff toys, while Ren's bed was decorated with dinosaurs and even some comic books. Though even he had a plain, scuffled teddy bear that lain strewn on his bedside. It made me smile.

I spent the rest of my day with the twins, playing a game of spies. Then we changed it to hide-and-seek, and finally tag. By the time night crawled around, we were tuckered out and panting. We ate dinner, and from there, the twins were sent to bed. Submissively, I allowed myself to resign early to catch up on much needed sleep. I ended up stumbling into my room tiredly, not even stopping to properly make sure this was my room. Even if it wasn't, I was sure Makoto would be crashing over Haru's house again. They did that often - one or the other would spend the night at each other's homes. I wasn't concerned.

I noted in the back of my mind that this was most likely not my bed as I flopped unattractively on the plush mattress. Mine was stiffer, as if it was still new and untouched. That was most likely the case before I came along. Makoto's bed was comfy and smelt of his body wash. My eyelids fell shut, and I let my body relax. Sleep purred longingly at me, and I indulged in it's sweetness.

* * *

Makoto arrived home with a heavy sigh. A whisper of a smile gracing his lips as he toed off his shoes. "I'm home!" He called. When no answer greeted him, he assumed they were all asleep, and Mamoru wouldn't answer anyhow. He entered the kitchen, fetching a glass of milk. He tilted the cup to his lips, downing it in three thick gulps. He exhaled a breath, his shoulders slumping. He smiled to himself, quickly washing the glass, humming an unfamiliar tune. Drying the cup and placing it back to it's place behind the cupboard, he decided he might as well turn in - and if he couldn't sleep, then maybe some video games? Then again, it wasn't as fun if he were to play by himself. Would Mamoru play with him? It wouldn't hurt to ask.

With that thought in mind, he ventured through his house, maneuvering through the hallways and reaching the closed door of his cousin's. He knocked twice, waiting for a moment. No answer. He knocked again, this time more firmly. "Mamo-chan?" He tried. He twisted the knob open, pushing his way through. "..Mamoru?"

Panic, worry, and confusion filled him all at once. No one was there. The bed was empty. Frantic, he checked the living room, then the bathroom. Gnawing on his lower lip, he burst into his own room, his chest heaving up and down in distraught. All the additional anxiety melted when he saw a sprawled Mamoru in the middle of his bed. He blinked once, twice, then, a heavy sigh of relief. For a moment he almost thought she was doing who knows what with that Takashi girl again. She had to consider her own health, and the older Tachibana was afraid she might dismiss it completely. He had no idea what went on in her head, and that was scarier than any horror movie he had ever seen.

He quietly neared the sleeping girl. He blinked when he saw sweat coat her forehead, finally noticing the incessant mumbling under her breath. "Mamo-chan?" He breathed out in confusion. He sat down at the edge of the bed, a hand placed on her shoulder and shaking her awake. Small fists gripped the sheets, and Mamoru stirred, her legs trembling as she tossed her head occasionally. Tears rolled from behind twitching eyelids, hugging the sides of her face. Finally, a choke sob. "_Mom!_" Eyes snapped open, a hand shout out to grasp what was a figment of her lucid nightmare.

"Mamoru!" Called Makoto. Diluted pupils focused on the face hovering over her own. Her nose scrunched up and she let out a tearful whine. Impulsively, she buried her face into her cousin's neck. Heavy breathing, strangled whimpers and wetness crammed against his neck, dampening his skin in a sticky mess. Arms closed around her, a large hand rubbing her back gently. "Shh." He repeated in an attempt to sedate her heightening distress. "Shh.." He rocked her from side-to-side, and finally, she calmed. Almost like a baby, he refrained from commenting.

She sniffled a few more times, and then,

"S-sorry.."

Something clenched in his chest, a sharp emotion jabbing his heart. "..Mamoru.." He could only utter. He stroked her hair. "Talk to me." She was quiet for the longest time, it was really quite deafening. He sighed, a bit in frustration, a bit in worry.

"I-.." She croaked. She cleared up her throat, raspy from all the suppressed crying. "...M-Makoto..?"

"Hm?"

"W-were we close?"

It took a moment for him to realize what she was talking about. "Yes. Very much." He let out a chuckle to lighten up the situation.

She pulled away from the nape of his neck, peering up at him. Her face was red and bloated. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand, and tried to blink away any additional wetness, but to no avail. A few tears brimmed before rolling down from red, glazed eyes. Makoto frowned and captured the rest with the heel of his palm, wiping her face. She sniffled again. "You.. you won't.. l-leave me, right..?" It was selfish of her to ask, but seeing her trembling in nervousness, her eyes averted to hide her shame, he realized she was letting him see apart of her that was locked away from prying eyes. A vulnerable, scared side. How could he refuse her?

"Was that what you were worried about?" He asked gently, his voice a soothing hum.

A snivel, a gulp, a hesitant nod. Makoto smiled softly, and he kissed her temple. "Never."

* * *

So I utterly failed.

Failed.

_Failed_.

...**_FAILED_**.

-I told myself! I vowed to myself!- Okay I wouldn't go as far as say _vowed_, but- you get my point, right? It was implied! Something I _wasn't_ supposed to do! I wasn't supposed to get **_attached_**. _But I_ _did_. And theoretically speaking, it _sucks_. Generally, I was a selfish person. Caring for another individual was set up for failure. Fortunately, it's just Makoto. Someone whose in my family, therefore, I'm stuck with him either way. But I'm telling you-

I AM TELLING YOU -and myself- THAT I WILL NOT -I repeat- _NOT_ GET ATTACHED TO ANYONE ELSE!

I felt something against my the corner of my mouth. A thumb brushed away two grains of rice from my face, and I flinched at the sudden contact. I glanced to see the perpetrator to my left. Haru fixated me with a blank stare before bringing the thumb between the seam of his lips, the rice disappearing. I blinked a few times, trying to regather my thoughts. Oh yeah!

I WILL NOT-

"Mamo-chan, do you want some of my omelette?" Makoto asked with a smile. I blinked again.

"'Kay," I opened my mouth and he popped in the yellow, rolled up egg in my mouth between two chopsticks. I chewed a few times before gulping. My cousin waited patiently. "S'okay." I answered. He smiled brightly at me.

_Ahem_. As I was saying.

I WILL ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY _NOT-_

"Geez. Again?" Haru complained. One eye shut intuitively as I felt a napkin wipe my mouth clean. Makoto chuckled and I grumbled something incoherent.

"Mamo-chan's a messy eater!" Nagisa teased.

"Not beautiful at all." Rei added, shaking his head in a playfully disappointed manner.

I scowled at all of them. "Shut up!"

Uhm -what was I saying again?

.

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	15. Chapter 15

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 14**

* * *

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"Senpai! You've missed gardening club three times this week!" Atsuko complained. "You're coming today, right?" It was rhetorical, by the way my kouhai had phrased her question. I sighed. It's not like I had deliberately missed gardening club. If their was anyone to blame, it was definitely Nagisa via Makoto and Haru. I swear those two acted worse than my parents, and they used Nagisa against me, knowing how much of a persistent little shit he was. They didn't voice it, but I knew they thought Atsuko was a bad influence on me. Couldn't they lighten up? If they think Atsuko's a supposed 'bad influence', then they should see some of the kids at my old school. One time, this girl got caught smoking weed in the bathroom. If they had seen _her_, and had known that I was on a first name basis with her, they'd have a heart attack. Well, mainly Makoto would have a heart attack. Haru.. I'm not sure what he'd do. Sometimes he's so quiet, I question if he's still breathing. On the contrary, he was a little more talkative now than he was when he had first met me. Now he says more than one word to me! Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I can get three sentences in!

Ahem, carrying on.

I'd like to think of myself of responsible. I knew my limits, and I knew what was wrong and what was right. Substantially, I was completely aware of when I'm doing something that may or may not be viewed as wrong. I wasn't stupid. I knew underage drinking was illegal. I do _not_ do it all the time, I just do it occasionally, like at a party, or with close friends. If that made me a bad person, then so be it.

I wonder how Makoto would react if he knew I smoked weed once. Mind you it was only once. I never did it again, mainly because my mother sniffed it on me and had granted me a month worth of chores. I didn't like it much anyway, it was just an experimental stage I had went through.

With a faint trace of a smile on my lips, I nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I'll be there."

.

"Ehh?!" Nagisa blinked. "Mamo-chan, I thought you were coming by swim practice again!"

Before I could answer, Atsuko appeared out of nowhere. She glared at the upperclassmen. "Sorry, but _no_. Senpai is coming to the gardening club!" I almost had to applaud the sass she had.

"No way! We need Mamo-chan!" Nagisa snatched my arm, sending a challenging glare to the first year. I was about to argue, that no- they did not need me at all, but Atsuko beat me to the punch.

"All you do is make senpai sit around and watch you swim! I bet she's bored! We'll have more fun together!" Atsuko, with aggressiveness I never knew she had, clamped two hands tightly around my unoccupied arm.

"All _you_ do is sit around and watch the grass grow!" Nagisa huffed. I take offense to that. "At least she gets to swim with us!" He tugged me to him with an upset pout.

Atsuko glared and tugged harder. "She's coming with me! The gardening club needs Tachibana-senpai!"

Nagisa pulled my arm. "No! She's coming with us! Mamo-chan is our mascot!" Since when?!

I cleared my throat. "Guys.. c'mon, let's not-"

"Garden!"

"Swim club!"

"_Garden_!"

"_Swim_ _club_!"

"_GARDEN_!"

"**_SWIM_ _CLUB_**!"

Makoto and Haru finally seemed to enter the scene. They both blinked before Makoto panicked at seeing me being forcefully yanked from left to right. He yelped at seeing the ghost floating out of my lips, my head lolled back.

"G-guys! Cut it out!" My cousin fussed, sweating nervously. The two idiots finally ceased their unrelenting tug of war, and I slumped to the ground, as if my legs had lost the stability of their bones. I can still feel the indents of where their fingers dug into my flesh. Fortunately, I didn't bruise easily.

"Gahh! Mamo-chan, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Don't die!" Nagisa exclaimed dramatically.

"Senpai! Please forgive me!" Atsuko cried, kneeling by my side. A light bulb went off in her head. "Ah! Someone do mouth-to-mouth!" What? I-I'm not _really_ dead!

"Mamoru," A calm, blank voice addressed me. Haru? "I'll give you a peach tomorrow." Peaches? One eyelid squinted open. He was staring at me with the same face he always had.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"I'm healed! Hallelujah!" I sprung back to life, and Atsuko sighed in relief. Makoto sighed in exasperation, and Nagisa pouted with disappointment.

"I was going to give Mamo-chan mouth-to-mouth!" He complained. I sent him a look, heat starting to collect in my face. Knowing Nagisa of all people, he'd probably do it too. At that, I noticed Haru flickering what could be akin to a glare at his blonde teammate, which the latter immediately took notice of. "U-uh, Haru-chan? Are you okay?"

He didn't answer, only turned around and stalked off, which wasn't uncommon. Makoto sent us an apologetic smile before chasing after his best friend. "Haru! Wait up!"

I blinked, before shrugging. He's probably just going to marinate in water again.

.

With the end of school in tow, and I in the school's backyard with Atsuko, my kouhai babbled my ear off. Surprisingly, she had taken great care of the flowers, they were in top shape, and were even starting to bud. A leaf between my compressed thumb and index finger, I rubbed it. It was soft, and the shade of green quite reminded me of Makoto's eyes, as cheesy as it sounds. I hummed a bit, a soft exhale of breath expelling from my lips. They were healthy, and possibly by the end of the start of next week, they will bloom. I heard a crunch, and blinked. Directing my attention to the soft thud, I heard an erupt curse wheezing out of an unknown voice.

"Oh gosh! I am so sorry!" My eyes widened when I saw that it was a rolling ball that had crushed a stray plant. The culprit, a senior with a soccer ball. I sighed through my nose, my lips thinning in annoyance. Had anyone ever hear of delicacy?

"It's fine." I grumbled out, trying to summon a polite face. "Don't do it again, though."

"I promise!" He huffed. He hastily retrieved his ball, and I had to wonder. Where the hell did he come from? The thought was dismissed entirely when Atsuko let out a gasp.

"It's _ruined_." She claimed in a dejected voice. I finally assessed the damage. It was a premature tulip which had not even budded yet. I scowled. It was battered, lain strewn over the fertilized soil as if it had given up. I muttered something incoherent under my breath and tried to fix the poor flower. I ended up tying it to a random stick so it would not fall over, as one would do for a young tree. "Will it be okay?" Atsuko asked curiously.

I glanced at her, then I snorted. "You act as if it's a person." I teased.

"Well, it _is_ alive, right?"

An instinctive tug on the muscles around my mouth and I realized with mirth that I was smiling softly at Atsuko, who seemed very well surprised. "Yeah," I said so quietly, it bordered a whisper. I reverted back. "It'll be fine. Just give it time." I added nonchalantly. "Now." I looked at the time. "I guess we're done for today. I'm going to get small fences to secure this doesn't happen again. You coming?"

"Yes, senpai!" She exclaimed readily.

.

When Makoto got back home, it was late. Haru had also decided to tag along. Maybe it was because they were excited for the following day. Regionals was just in two more days, and tomorrow they will be driving out of town to their hotel the day before their relay. I would be catching a ride with Gou and Amakata-sensei to see their competition.

Makoto smiled at me when he saw me at the couch, in front of the t.v. I waved at them half-heartily. My cousin approached. "What're you watching?"

"Hm? Oh. Uh.. I don't know, I'm just waiting for the movie that comes on in 5 minutes." He seemed interested, glancing back at Haru.

"What is it?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. Wanna find out?" Makoto smiled and placed his bag somewhere along the couch before plopping down beside me. Haru sat on the other side of me, and we all waited until the movie started - Makoto and I making small talk.

The introduction rolled in, "JU-ON: The Grudge" in thick, over dramatic kanji. "Oh," I blinked. "A scary movie. Have you guys seen this one? I heard of it, and but I only saw the last part of the American version. Hey- Makoto? You okay?"

Said male had paled upon seeing the title of the movie. He nodded, his eyes wide, shooting me a strained, fake smile. "Y-yeah.."

"Makoto, we don't have to see this." Haru spoke up. I blinked at both of them, a bit of panicked excitement settling in my stomach.

"Is it really that scary?" I wondered.

Makoto shook his head, giving me a wobbly smile. "It's not that. I just scare too easily."

I blinked again. "Oh. That's okay. I had a friend who hated scary movies. Apart of me does too, but that's just because I'd have to go to sleep with the lights on, depending on how scary the movie is. That's just with ghosts though. Other than that, I can handle zombie or killer movies. Okay, not _exactly_ killer movies. I get queasy seeing gore." Apparently my talking helped soothe out the wired nerves in my cousin, because he laughed. "Wait, wait." I blanched. "_Is_ this a ghost movie?"

"Yes." Haru answered.

I was as white as a sheet. Makoto cleared his throat, sounding a bit relieved. "We don't have to watch if-"

"No, no." I waved my hand as a scene started playing. "We cannot stop the train once it has started moving. We trek onward men!" Haru raised an eyebrow, and Makoto's short-lived relief was snatched away.

.

"AAH!" Makoto screamed, grasping tightly onto my shoulders as if I was a shield. My hands flew to my face, obscure my vision. "I-is it over yet?" I whimpered pathetically.

"Yes." Haru sighed, inexpressive as usual.

Makoto peaked from behind me, and I lowered my hands. The coast was clear, until the main character lifted her blanket, the face of that creepy ass ghost staring at her. This time I jumped, lunging for Haru. Makoto screamed again, lunging for me. Haru was crushed under both our weight. Makoto buried his face into my hair, and I buried my face behind Haru's arm.

"Can't... _breathe_.." The swimmer wheezed. Makoto shot up, hefting himself off of me, decreasing the weight. I still held on, my shoulders tense, my grip firm. I heard a sigh, and risked a peak. Haru was staring at me, his eyes soft. "If you knew you get as scared as Makoto, why'd you agree to this?"

"..To be honest, it's a bit exciting." I hefted myself off of Haru, smoothing out any wrinkles on my t-shirt. I smiled a little when I saw his curious look. "It's exciting getting scared. My heart is beating so fast." I laughed. "And it's less scary if I'm with someone." I looked at Makoto, he returned it with a fond smile. It quickly disappeared when his eyes flickered back to the screen. Unable to resist the temptation, I looked at what had caught his attention. It was the grudge girl again, walking down the stairs and making that weird growling noise at the back of her throat.

"Holy shit!" I inched closer to Makoto, hugging him tightly. He mirrored my actions, clutching me tighter than he intended to, but I didn't mind as we both screamed.

.

Just as expected, I slept with the lights on. I was not going taking any chances, thank you. The next day, although, was finally the day that Makoto and the others would drive out of Iwatobi to their hotels for the regionals the following day. Gou, Amakata-sensei and Coach Sasabe and I were there to see them off to their bus. Gou and her friend had made a banner to cheer on Iwatobi swim club, a drawing of the Iwatobi mascot that Haru had made was included. I was surprised, now enlightened that Haru was an amazing artist. What a feat.

"Mamoru." I snapped back to reality. I turned to who had spoken my name. To be honest, the only one that actually called me by my first name, without any formality, or pet name (such as the dreaded 'Mamo-chan') was Haru. I on the other hand has always addressed him as Haruka-san, and Haru in my head. I felt something grasp my wrist. It was Haru's much larger hand. It was moisturized and warm. I looked down, and then finally I felt him place a heavy sphere in my open palm. A fruit - or rather, a peach. I blinked a few times, then, I grinned at him - as if I had won the lottery.

"Thank you!" It took me a moment to remember what he had said the other day. I didn't think he'd actually live up to his promise, but I wasn't complaining. He nodded at me. I took his chin and tilted it, placing a chaste kiss just below his cheekbone, as my gratitude and my goodluck. He stood stockstill, his eyebrows lifted high in shock.

"Mamo-chan!" Nagisa stared blatantly, his jaw unhinging. "Why Haru?!"

I rolled my eyes at his childish response. I neared the boy who was only a few inches taller than myself, kissing his cheek quickly. "There. Happy?" Surprisingly, he had a shocked expression. Nagisa was _actually_ speechless. Perhaps he didn't expect me to do that? At my question, he nodded dumbly. To make it fair, I approached an unsuspecting Rei, surprising him with a kiss to the cheek as well. Red colored his face when he had realized what I had done. I laughed, enjoying his reaction very much. "Rei-san's so cute!" If possible, he turned redder.

"Mamoru-san.." He started in what sounded like a grumble. "For a guy to be called cute isn't a compliment."

"Okay.." I hummed in thought. "Rei-san's is very beautiful!" I teased, laughter thick in my voice. I snorted when he also stood stockstill, flustered and averting his face as he adjusted his glasses. Makoto chuckled from behind me, apparently observing my antics. I suddenly whirled on him with a sadistic smirk. He shivered.

"_Mako-chan_.." I drawled darkly. Makoto gulped.

"M-Mamo-chan..?"

"You can't escape me!" Then I sprung at him like a recoiled slinky. He yelped at the attack and I chortled, swinging an arm around his neck and kissing his cheek. I bit his cheek, and he stiffened, then I kissed the same spot playfully. Predictably, when I pulled away there was a red spot, and Makoto rubbed it gingerly. He sent me a look and sighed. I laughed again, noticing as a bus started to appear in the distance.

After a few more pleasantries, and a whiny complaint from my assault by Makoto, the bus neared, cutting off whatever random quote Amakata-sensei had spurred out. With that, I wished them goodluck, waving as their bus drove away.

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	16. Chapter 16

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 15**

* * *

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Regionals was surely something to watch. Especially with _all the booty_-contestants! The _contestants_. Yeah. Heh.

"Oh! It's you again!" I heard a vaguely familiar voice. I spun around, and blinked when I saw a recognizable silverette. I spluttered, warmth collecting in my face. It was Nitori. "I'm sorry.." He said suddenly, looking a bit embarrassed. "Last time we met, I didn't get your name." My heart fluttered. He wanted my name! My _name_! Act cool. Act cool.

"I-it's.. Mamoru.. Tachibana.." I mumbled out. _Shit_.

Nitori smiled at me. "Mamoru? That's a pretty name." Oh my God. _I'm going to **die**_. "I am Aiichirou Nitori." So Nitori was his last name, huh? Mamoru Nitori. Mrs Mamoru Nitori. A nice ring to it.

Wow I'm creepy.

"I like your name." I blurted. He rubbed the back of his head, a bit sheepish.

"T-thank you very much!" Awkward silence trickled in, and I shifted my feet. You can do this, Mamoru. You can do this! Don't fuck it up.

"So, what're you doing here?" I asked conversationally.

"Oh! I'm here to cheer on my team." He said proudly.

"Which one?"

"Samezuka swim club!"

I blinked, then hummed thoughtfully. "That's.. that's that Matsuoka guy's team right?"

"Matsuoka-senpai?" Nitori smiled brightly. "Yes, we're on the same team! I hope he does well." He added a little sullenly. He bounced back. "What about you? What're you doing here?"

"I'm cheering on my cousin's team." I smiled. "Kind of had no choice in the matter anyhow." I said jokingly.

"Which team is that?" He asked curiously.

"Iwatobi swim club." I shrugged.

"That's Nanase-san's club!" He gasped.

"You know Haruka-san?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes! He's.." He trailed off with a frown. "He's Matsuoka-senpai's childhood friend. We met at a few joint practices but we didn't speak."

"Oh.." I raised two eyebrows at the boy's shifted demeanor. "Well, don't put much thought to it. He don't speak much anyway. He's like a mute."

"I'm not worried about that." Nitori sighed. He didn't elaborate, and I didn't pry.

I decided to take a leap of faith. "Uhm.. so.. uh.. you.. a-are you doing anything after regionals-"

"Oi! Nitori-san! They're starting!"

"C-coming!" He called back to the faceless swimmer. "See you later, Tachibana-chan!" My face fell. Dammit!

"Mamoru-san, come on already!" Gou suddenly appeared at my side. She grasped my arm and tugged me in the direction of our seats. Which were as far as possible from Nitori. "How long does it take to go to the bathroom?" She complained huffily. I sighed, and allowed her to pull me in the direction of where everyone else were situated.

"Good morning!" Gou smiled at our swim club.

"Good morning!" Nagisa grinned.

"Morning." Makoto returned.

I was still sulking at my chance getting ripped away so quickly. Gou whispered something to Rei, to which he looked mildly surprised before frowning. "No." He said calmly. "We just agreed to do our best today."

Nagisa took notice of my dejected mood, and announced it loudly. "Huh? Mamo-chan? Why are you depressed?" Makoto and Haru looked curiously at me and my head lolled to looked Nagisa in the eye.

"My husband and I have parted too soon." I said in a low voice. Nagisa tilted his head, obviously oblivious to what I was saying.

"Husband?"

"We got seats for everyone." Gou's friend, Chigusa appeared, Amakata-sensei a foot behind her.

"Thank you!" Gou beamed, and everyone seemed to forget about my weird moment.

"Let's get going then!" Coach Sasabe boasted, hands on his hips. The swimmer's mood dimmed a bit with doubt, and their coach immediately pulled out that horrid rolled up paper, projecting his already loud voice. Bystanders glanced at us incredulously, and I sighed. "Oi! Don't wuss out now! Don't worry about the outcome! Just be free! Swim to your hearts content. Swim so you have no regrets!"

Geez. That old man was too loud for his own good. Although, that speech seemed to have lifted their spirits. They grinned at each other, before simultaneously shouting "Yes!"

.

Rin competition was nearing, and I sat beside Amakata-sensei. The whistle screeched, and the contestants dove in. Rin had a late start, and I rose an eyebrow. He was lagging behind, and I was surprised. Something was obviously wrong, and it was showing prominently in his effort. Wasn't he the first to beat Haru in their last race? It made not sense. I frowned, watching him closely. Soon, the race was over, and Rin was picking himself up out of the pool. My jaw clenched, as he fell back in, struggling to heft himself up.

Haru gasped and shot up from his spot, running to God knows where. Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei followed. I contemplated whether I should follow them again, but decided against it. Ultimately, I did not want to interfere.

"Gou, look at this!" Chigusa whispered to her friend. Gou took the paper, and in curiosity, I peered over her shoulder.

I frowned.

"This is.." Gou trailed off, her eyes widened in shock.

Matsuoka.. was taken off the relay?

.

"No luck! I can't find them anywhere!" Coach Sasabe huffed, returning from his scout for the Iwatobi swim club members.

"The medley relay swimmers are supposed to report soon." Amakata-sensei stated worriedly. "They'll be disqualified."

"No way!" Gou gasped.

I frowned. Then, I smirked. "Che. They'll make it." Gou looked to me in confusion. "And if they don't then I'll kick their asses!" I held up a fist, obviously trying to lighten up their moods. It was a joke, and Gou smiled a little so I was satisfied. Well, it was half true. If they made me sit in a car for nearly 2 hours only for them to back out in the end, I'll be upset. Then again, I had a feeling that they would make it. Surely they weren't that absentminded.

.

Another 10 minutes had rolled by, and I was growing anxious.

"Damn, they're already starting." Coach Sasabe grumbled.

"Did they come all this way, just to be disqualified?" Asked Chigusa.

_Correction_. Did they make _us_ come all this way, just to be disqualified?

I sighed, trying to calm the wild beating in my chest. I get snappy when I'm anxious. Gou looked down, and finally I saw the familiar silhouettes of our swimmers rushing in. "They're here!"

Finally. I sighed in relief, tension melting from my body.

I blinked when I saw Matsuoka there, taking Rei's position. The relay was about to start, and I couldn't peel my eyes away from the redhead. Then I smirked, rubbing the tip of my nose. I got the gist of what was going on, and with that, Makoto was up to start in the relay.

"_WOOT_! MAKOTO! YEAH!" I cheered so loudly, bystanders glanced at me. It didn't matter, because Gou, Amakata-sensei, and Coach Sasabe joined in. "Go, go, go, go Makoto! Swim, swim, swim, swim Makoto!" He got to the other side and back first, Nagisa down in his place, and we started cheering for the blonde.

Just as Nagisa swam back, the others finally took notice of Rin. I grinned when I saw their reactions, though jolted an inch in my seat when I realized Rei was sitting with us. I hadn't even noticed.

Rin dove in with expertise, swimming faster than before. He seemed more motivated, more determined.

"I told them to be free, but they went to far."

"His entry angle was five degrees off, but I supposed it'll do." I swear everyone had a late reaction. Coach Sasabe jumped.

"Why're you here?!"

"I'll explain everything later." Was Rei's retort. I snorted, then laughed. "We need to cheer for them now. Gou-san."

Gou grinned. "Yeah!"

Rin made it back to the other side, and Haru dove in. He plunged into the water, form as perfect as usual. A shit-eating grin split my face as I watched, my competitive side rearing it's head.

Iwatobi was first, and I couldn't help but jump out of my seat in excitement. "FUCK YEAH!" I fist pumped.

I watched from my place as Makoto, Nagisa, and Rin indulged Haru with a tight hug. I smiled fondly. Then something pattered in my chest, and I realized it was my heart clenching. Watching them, seeing Makoto grin so happily, I couldn't help but feel a bit dejected.

Adrenaline was slowly melting from my system, and I smiled sadly. I was intruding. Makoto's circle was already full. The stunning realization left me with a sigh, and I couldn't help but feel left out. I looked at Rei, and could tell that he may have felt the same way.

"You guys are truly beautiful." He muttered under his breath. I couldn't help but agree.

.

"After that emotional performance, you were disqualified." Amakata-sensei said sternly.

"Naturally." Coach Sasabe added.

"It wasn't easy to endure the staff members scolding us." The teacher continued. "They've never had someone swim in a relay for a different school's team."

"We're very sorry." They all bowed lowly.

Amakata-sensei sighed deeply, and I rolled my eyes. "Well, it's okay." She smiled a little. "Young people get to do crazy things." I'm using that as my excuse from now on.

"Why did you pull that stunt anyway?" Coach Sasabe asked with a raised brow.

"Because.." Rei started. He smiled softly. "It was only right."

"Yep, we may be on different teams.."

"..But we're still.."

"..Teammates."

_You cheeky bastards_, I bemused.

"What does that mean?" Amakata-sensei blinked.

* * *

A week later, Iwatobi and Samezuka was having a joint swim practice, to Mamoru's joy and dismay.

"Tachibana-chan!" Mamoru jolted. Yes, she joined in. Mainly for the opportunity to see a specific cute little silverhead.

"N-Nitori-kun?"

Makoto, who was standing beside his cousin, raised an eyebrow in surprise at the familiarity. She rubbed the back of her neck, feeling the curious, peering eyes of Iwatobi's swim team.

"How are you?" He asked with a friendly smile.

"Good, I mean, same as usual." Mamoru faltered, her usual polite mannerism blotchy and incomprehensible to her own thought process. "A-and is you? I mean! Are you? I-! How are you!" She stuttered out, thoroughly making a fool out of herself. Nitori blinked and Makoto and Rei's far off chuckle resounded. Haru stared, his eyes solely focused on the younger Tachibana.

She was acting strange, he mused. Did she like that kid? He asked himself.

"Oi! Haru, you ready for our race-" Rin suddenly appeared, dressed in his swimming attire. He stopped abruptly upon seeing Mamoru. His blank face transmitted from surprised to annoyance. "You-!"

Mamoru jumped, whirling around to see Rin. "Ah! Sharkboy! How're you this fine evening?" She greeted teasingly.

He narrowed his eyes dangerously. "**_You_**.." He drawled out angrily. "What are you doing here?!"

"I've came to see you, my love!" She knew full well that she was irritating him, but she laughed jovially regardless.

"'My love'?!" Nagisa repeated in shock. Rin flushed and neared Mamoru with an intimidating aura.

"_Dunna_.." Mamoru sung the Jaws theme song. "Dunna.. dunna.. _dunnadunnadunna_! RUN, IT'S A SHARK ATTACK!" She immediately bolted in the other direction, and both Makoto and Nitori had to hold the angry redhead back. Mamoru hid behind Haru.

"Haruka-san, you're my meat shield." He sent her a disbelieving look.

"Wait a minute!" Rin finally exploded. "How do you guys even know this-"

"-beautiful young lady." She finished. He sent her a glare, and she cowered behind Haru.

Makoto chuckled nervously. "S-she's my younger cousin."

Rin's jaw dropped. "_This_ little shit is your cousin?!"

"Nice to me you. Mamoru Tachibana at your service."

His eyes flashed, and he stared at the younger girl for a moment. "You're.." He trailed off. His eyebrows furrowed at the mention of Mamoru. It seemed to make sense. If this was the little girl who had infuriated him even when he was younger, she didn't change at all. If anything, her provokingly calm attitude and irritating teasing had grown _worse_. He wondered vaguely if she remembered him like he remembered _her_, and frowned.

"Take a picture, baby. It'll last longer." She purred from behind Haru. At the looks she received, she threw her head back and laughed hard.

She still laughed like a witch, he thought begrudgingly.

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Makoto and Haru exchanged a look. Obviously, Mamoru was much more familiar with Rin and Nitori than she let on. And like an itch he couldn't scratch, it bugged Haru. More so Makoto, although the backstroke swimmer was less blatant about it. Mamoru pestered Rin purposely, unintentionally ignoring her older cousin. It was amusing, surely it was, but he only wished that she would tone it down. How was it that she was so comfortable with people she barely knew, when it took weeks for her to open up to _them_. Haru observed as she blushed and stuttered around Nitori, who was painfully oblivious to her advances.

The itch worsened when Seijuurou Mikoshiba had thrown an arm around her shoulders, laughing heartily at her excitable personality. The other Captain had obviously taken a liking to her, and although it was an innocently friendly gesture, Haru glared at the older boy.

"H-Haru.. calm down.. Haru.." Makoto nervously coaxed, a hand on his shoulder to stop his best friend from marching up to them. "She's just having fun. It was our idea to drag her here anyway, right?"

"We'll drag her back." Was his unrelenting, blank reply. Makoto sighed, and before Haru could continue, Mamoru neared them, laughing at a joke Seijuurou had said.

"Mah, I'm sort of hungry." She rubbed her belly in subconsciously. She grinned up at Makoto. Before she could say anything, Nagisa pounced on her. He swung an arm around her shoulders, causing her to tilt with the access weight. It didn't bother Nagisa nor Rei as much as it did them, but that didn't mean that they didn't notice. Especially with the glances Makoto and Haru kept shooting their childhood friend/cousin when they thought no one was looking.

"Mamo-chan~! You've been flirting with everyone this entire time!" Nagisa exclaimed with a small glare. "You're our mascot, you're supposed to flirt with _us_!"

She choked on her spit. "Flirting?" She repeated. "I'm not flirting! I'm being nice."

"Being too nice." Haru retorted. She wasn't even that '_nice_' to them.

"Yeah, yeah! What Haru-chan said!" Nagisa pouted.

Mamoru rolled her eyes. Changing the subject, she sighed. "Isn't your mascot that ugly bird thing?"

"It's not ugly!" Nagisa protested. He hummed. "Hm. Mamo-chan, you should be our cheerleader then." He said with a sly grin.

Unknowingly, they each pictured her in a cheerleader uniform. Mamoru scowled. "No thanks. I'll pass."

"A cheerleader could be beneficial." Rei said with a hand under his chin. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, obscuring the blush that suddenly appeared.

"Cheerleader." Haru nodded in determination, pink starting to color his cheeks.

"What about Mako-chan?" Nagisa teased, enjoying the expression on Mamoru's face.

Makoto smiled nervously when he greeted Mamoru's dark, almost feral glare. _I dare you_, the look said. He gulped nervously. "I-I'm fine with whatever Mamo-chan wants." The glare disappeared, and a happy grin took it's place.

"And that's why I love Makoto the most!" She beamed, latching unto his arm and away from a pouting Nagisa as the latter sighed in relief. He patted her head, and that odd feeling that had festered washed away with the reassurance of her words.

And with the truth to her words, -that she probably _only_ loved and trusted Makoto- Haru's itch had unknowingly intensified.

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**A/n: Please Review! Now I can work more thoroughly with the character relationships and what not. ****I'm definitely taking advantage that Scorpios & Cancers are supposedly the jealous type.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/n: To answer **MachineWash**'s question, I've made Mamoru a Taurus so she's compatible with Haru. (I've mentioned it in Chapter 2)**

**And to **GaaraXlover265**, I've took your suggestion! Hopefully you'll find this satisfactory! :D**

**Please Review & and I'll update as much as I can!**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 16**

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On Monday, when Atsuko and I were to check upon our mini garden was when we were greeted with the surprise of it's growth. I laughed, for once, proud and happy of our accomplishment. Tulips, Alstroemerias, Anemonas, Asters, and Avens were in full bloom, others such as some Spiderlilies were still peaking, but I knew they were going to flourish anytime soon. Graceful and perennial, they painted the yard like a canvas, decorating the soil with it's rich, bright colors. Something caught my eye, and I neared it.

"You planted a potato plant?" I asked incredulously.

I heard Atsuko's sheepish giggle. "Ah.. well.. I didn't know it was a.." She trailed off. I snorted and sent her a look.

I sighed, but I couldn't help but smile. I gave her the watering pot and watched as she sprinkled the garden with water. It was quiet, nothing but the whispers of trees as their leaves tousled in the light gust of wind. Relaxed and serene, it was here where I needn't act like anything other than myself, enjoying the comfortable silence. Unfortunately, Atsuko didn't appreciate the quiet as much as I did.

"Tachibana-senpai?"

"Hm?" I tried to suppress the sigh.

"Do you like anyone?"

The question caught me off guard. I blinked, once, twice, then "Why do you want to know?"

"Well, it's just.." Hesitation. I waited patiently. "You always hang out with those swimmer guys. I was wondering if their was a reason?"

I blinked again. I mulled over her question. She didn't take my silence as assuring. She spun around, staring at me intently.

"Is it.. Nanase-senpai? Or Hazuki-senpai?" She bit her lip. "It's that Ryugazaki guy, right?! You have classes with him-"

"Whoa, whoa." I sweatdropped. I paused. "How do you know I have classes with Rei-san?" She looked away, and I rolled my eyes. "I sometimes help him with his English, and in exchange he helps me in Math and shit." I fixated her a wary stare. "Why are you so interested? Are you obsessed with me or something?"

She flushed. "N-no! Of course not. I'm just looking out for my senpai! Then if it's not Ryugazaki.. then Nanase-senpai!" I blinked.

"Haruka-san is my cousin's best friend, I have no choice other than to be around him." I shrugged.

"Then Hazuki-senpai!"

I sighed. "That guy?" I rolled one of my shoulders, wincing a bit when I heard a pop. "I tolerate him. That's all I can say."

"_Do_ you like someone?"

I contemplated it. I bit my lip, then snickered. "Hehe.. _maybe_."

"Tell me, senpai!" Atsuko pounced on me.

"No way!" I looked away pointedly.

"Senpai, please!"

"No." I smirked.

.

"Senpai tell me!"

"..No." I was starting to get annoyed. It was this morning when Atsuko started bugging me about it, and as much as I admire her persistence, so much attention could only be annoying.

She followed me as I walked up to the roof top, where I knew Makoto would be waiting for lunch.

"_Senpaiiiii_.." She whined.

I groaned. "No!" It wasn't even _that_ important. At first I had said no simply to tease her, but now I was saying it because I was being stubborn.

"Senpai, I promise not to tell anyone! Cross my heart and hope to die!"

I rolled my eyes, about to reply when we were interrupted.

"Tell her what?" Makoto asked lightly. I froze. We were already at the roof. I hadn't even noticed. Just as Atsuko was about to open her mouth, I slapped a hand to her mouth. "_Nothing._"

Makoto raised an eyebrow and I sent Atsuko a glare. She murmured something, although it was muffled behind my hand. I released my grip on her and settled on the ground. Atsuko got a gleam in her eye and I shuddered.

"If you don't tell me, I'll tell them!"

"Tell her what?" Nagisa asked, officially interested.

I sighed and shot her a look. "_Fine_. It's not even that important, you know."

Atsuko smiled happily. She snatched my hand and pulled me to the other side of the roof, clearly away from the staring boys. I leaned against the railing, sending my kouhai a bored look. She waited expectantly.

I sighed. "Geez. You don't know him, but I think I've snapped a picture of him. He's from Samezuka." I fished out my cellphone, flipping it open and shuffling through the pictures. Yes, I fully admit to being creepy and taking a stalker-ish photo of Nitori when he wasn't looking. I felt a smile curl the corners of my lips as I found it. Unfortunately, Matsuoka had photo-bombed it. I handed the phone to her, and she immediately took it in excitement.

"Oh-! _Oh_. He's really something." She flushed. I smirked triumphantly.

"I already called dibs, sorry."

"I understand." She nodded. "Ne, senpai? You two would look like a really intimidating couple."

I blinked. "Really? I thought he gave the sweet-and-innocent vibe."

"Sweet-and-innocent?" Atsuko blinked. "Uh.. senpai.. you're weird."

I sighed, snatching the phone back. "Che. You just need to open your eyes." I dropped the cellphone back into my pocket. We walked back where Makoto and the others were waiting.

"Senpai, are you going to make a move on him?" She asked curiously.

I shrugged. "I'm not type to do the chasing, but.." I sighed, suddenly depressed. "He's completely oblivious."

"Maybe you just need to be more blatant about it?" She tried.

"Any more blatant and I'd be asking him for marriage." I laughed at my own joke. I settled back down beside Haru. "It doesn't matter anyway." I shrugged, leaning back. "I'm not looking for anything serious."

"Regardless, I'll be cheering for you senpai!" Atsuko saluted me and I smiled. She glanced at her watch. "Oh, I gotta go! See you." I waved at her as she left. I sighed deeply, and finally I was bombarded with questions.

"What were talking about?" Makoto asked curiously.

"What's this about marriage?!" Nagisa pounced.

"Do you like someone, Mamoru-san?"

Haru was staring intently at me, and I flushed. "G-guys.. aha.." I rubbed the back of my head. My shoulders slumped, and I decided to lie. "We were just talking about this movie that I saw. That's all. Nothing important!"

"Liar." It was Haru who spoke. I sighed.

"Haha, ya got me." I shrugged.

"So you _do_ like someone!" Nagisa pestered. "Tell us! Oh, is it someone we know?!"

"It's Nitori." Nagisa whorled around to face Haru, who'd had spoken. My face was resembling a tomato. Makoto nervously looked between both of us, apparently aware of what was shoved up Haru's butt today.

"Nitori..?" The blonde looked thoughtful, eyebrows furrowed. Rei cleared his throat.

"He's on the Samezuka swim club. He's usually with Rin-san."

"Huh? _That_ guy?" Nagisa exclaimed.

Embarrassed by how this had gotten out so fast, I shot up, smoothing any wrinkles on my skirt before marching off. "I'm leaving."

"Wahh! Wait, don't leave Mamo-chan! Do you like that Nitori guy?!" Nagisa wailed, and I cringed, before running out, determined to leave the sources of my humiliation.

* * *

The door was thrust with a loud slam, causing all four guys to wince. Makoto sighed, and Nagisa pouted.

"This seems to be a embarrassing subject for Mamoru-san." Rei commented. "Do you think she really does like Nitori-san?"

Makoto sent an unsure look to Haru, who was staring at the door whose his eyes narrowed more than usual. Nagisa whined. "Why would Mamo-chan like _that_ guy?"

"I'm not sure." Makoto sighed. "I haven't breached that topic with her." He scratched his cheek. "She said she wasn't looking for anything serious herself, so I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

Abruptly, and without warning, Haru stood up, walking off.

"H-Haru?" Makoto blurted, watching as he exited the same door Mamoru had just went through. Sensing that he wished to be alone, Makoto hesitantly stayed where he was.

"Ne, ne," Nagisa whispered, leaning closer to the other males. "Do you think Haru-chan's interested in Mamo-chan?"

Makoto blinked in surprise. Haru wasn't one to show romantic interest in anything other than water, so the assumption was fortuitous in itself. He was so sure his concern for Mamoru was that of a friend, therefore his 'interest' was justified, the same way it was for Rin. Makoto stared off where both his younger cousin and best-friend had retreated, expression unreadable.

.

It wasn't intentional. His purpose was purely to relinquish to his safe haven of a pool, not seek out the cause of these unforeseen emotions that had started to appear. Perhaps he should ask the water what were the unnamed itches and irrational urges that started to resurface. With that resolution in mind, he disregarded her presence, stripping to his swimming trunks and diving in. Vaguely, he heard her gasp before indulging in the cool water.

Mamoru flinched when a silhouette zipped past her, plunging into the pool without discretion. She sat stockstill, trying to regather her thoughts. Here she was, minding her own business, sitting by the pool with her feet dipping in. Her socks and shoes lain reap beside her, when suddenly someone had dove into the pool. Still staring like an idiot, she waited for the dark figure to reemerge to the surface.

Ebony locks and stark, blue eyes peered at her. It took her a moment to realize it was the half emerged head of Haruka Nanase regarding her from the middle of the pool. She blinked once, twice, then sighed, rubbing her temples.

"You're creepy." She said bluntly. A few bubbles floated to the surface. "Either you just breathed, or you just farted." She snorted, laughing at her own joke. Seeing no immediate reaction, she sighed. "What is it? Are you just going to stare at me all day? I know I'm sexy and all but-" She was cut off when he descended back into the water. She stared for a few minutes before shaking her head.

She hadn't noticed the dark figure lingering beneath the water, until it catapulted to the surface. She yelped in surprise when Haru popped up from the water, closer than before. Without warning he glided closer, right between the her knees, grasping the edge of the pool on either side of her hips to heft himself up, until he was face to face with her.

Soaping wet, and panting lightly, blue eyes met green and Mamoru was frozen. Surprise was evident in her expression, though his was the same impassive expanse at usual.

"Why do you like him?" The question had tumbled out before he could catch it, but his curiosity easily overwhelmed his regret.

She was staring at him, trying refocus on the situation at hand. Here Haru was, here she was, only a few inches separating their bodies. She pressed a hand to his chest instinctively, as to place some sort of boundary between them. "Uh.." She blinked a few times. "D'ya m-mean Nitori-kun..?" He stared, as if it was obvious. She cleared his throat. "It's.. just a crush. Don't worry." Why she reassuring him? It was purely her business, and hers alone. Despite that, she sighed in relief when he lowered himself back into the pool, his chest and head afloat. His face was a mask of relaxation, his eyes closed and his mouth slightly agape.

Now reassembled with the distance between them, she blinked. "Why're you guys so concerned of who I like?" She sighed, it was rhetorical, and he didn't answer. She snickered. "What? Are you guys jealous or something?" She laughed to herself. Haru peeled one eye open, staring at her blankly.

"You're our cheerleader." Was all he said. She tensed, not expecting him to answer. Obviously, his reactions were much different compared to Nagisa if she were to tease him. Unsettled, she frowned a bit, then laid back on the pavement. Exhaling a sigh, she mumbled.

"I still didn't agree to that title."

* * *

It was a bit awkward on our way home. Makoto was acting unnecessarily cautious, Haru was unnecessarily hovering, and I was downright confused. We stopped to get ice-cream, the day hot and the sun pelting down on our faces, making me red-faced and sweaty. It was like the day had done a total 180, going from cool, to tolerable, to _holyfuckamIinHell_. I fished my pocket for a ponytail, tying my dark hair into a tight bun. When we had gotten home, we were greeted with the usual enthusiasm of Ren and Ran.

"'Nee-chan! Let's play a game!" Ran tugged on my arm.

"Yeah! Onii-chan and Haru-chan too!" Ren finished.

"Right now?" I groaned. They nodded rapidly. I sighed.

Makoto smiled. "Now, now guys, you can't force Mamo-chan if she doesn't want too." They whined simultaneously.

"No, it's okay." I shrugged. To be quiet honest, it was fun - though I'll never admit it aloud. Makoto smiled again, but before he could say anything, Haru interrupted.

"I don't mind." I blinked. Makoto blinked as well. He sent us both a look.

"I-I don't mind either." I blinked once more.

"Yay!" Ren and Ran cheered.

"Okay.. Not-it!" I shouted.

"Not it!" Makoto smiled.

"Not it." Haru stated.

"Not it!" Ran spluttered out quickly. She grinned at her brother. "You're _it, _Ren!"

Ren whined and pouted before, "_Fine_."

We all scurried for hiding spots as Ren shut his eyes, counting loudly. Makoto went off somewhere, and Ran hurried for the kitchen, most likely going to hide under the sink. I'm not sure where Haru went, but I panicked.

"5..4..3..2.." I ran to Makoto's room, swinging open the closet. It was neat and dark, and I crawled in it in my haste. I immediately realized it was cramped, and I had to squeeze and shuffle by some clothes to get to the unoccupied place in the corner. I stumbled on something, and I heard a grunt. I felt around for the wall, and found something warm. I squinted in the dark, finding a silhouette. Familiar blue eyes blinked at me, and I blinked back. My hand was on their shoulder.

"Haruka-san?"

"Mhm." Was the response. I blinked again, and Haru made room. We both sat in the corner of Makoto's small closet, crammed and squished together. "You took my hiding spot." I grumbled.

"You came here." He reminded. I sighed, the noise louder than I intended. It was hot and stuffy in here, and as my arm accidentally brushed against Haru's I realized he was as cool as a cucumber, while I was sticky and warm. I glanced at him in envy to see him already staring at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Makoto's under the bed." He said randomly.

I snickered. "How'd he fit under there?" Haru shrugged.

"I bet you can see his foot poking out." I chuckled. It was too dark to tell, but I think I might've caught the barest hint of a smile.

It was quiet for a moment, and we both tensed when he heard Ren's voice out the closet. The small pattering of my little cousin's feet drifted away. "Where _are_ you guys?!" We heard his frustrated yell. Both me and Haru chuckled. My leg was getting a bit uncomfortable, so I shifted it. Haru blinked and moved a bit, offering space for my leg. I ended up leaning it across his lap. Silence engulfed us both, but I didn't find it awkward, seeing as I was used to Haru's lack of speaking, and I rather valued the quiet at times. I tugged at the collar of my shirt, allowing some air to my heated flesh. The last thing I wanted was to smell like a sweaty donkey so close to the opposite sex. I suddenly remembered when I made Haru say 'I like sweaty donkey balls' weeks ago, and snorted.

Good times, good times.

"Mamoru," He said suddenly. I blinked, glancing at him.

"Hm?"

There was a hint of hesitation, before, "Makoto told me you remembered something."

I stiffened, trying to keep my voice light. "Really now?"

"Yeah."

I sighed. I bit my lip. One, two, three minutes - until, "Yes, I did."

"So your amnesia isn't permanent."

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "I don't want to get my hopes up."

"But you remembered something."

"Mhm. But it's been a couple weeks since that happened." I scratched my cheek, feeling awkward.

It was quiet again, and I had to wonder how this subject was even brought up.

"It may take time.." I jolted when he spoke again. "But I think you'll remember."

I scoffed, clenching my hands when they started to tremble. "You sound so sure.."

"I am." I flinched, withdrawing into myself as I looked away. I felt a sturdy, warm hand reach for my own, and my eyes widened when cool fingers weaved through the spaces of my own. Suddenly defensive, I snapped a glare towards the swimmer. "What're you-"

"You'll remember." I shut up. I gulped down the thickness starting to formulate in my throat. His other hand reached for my face. I winced instinctively, but I felt the warm palm cup my cheek before trailing up the curve of my face, settling on my temple. I felt the tips of his fingernails skim over my scar, his thumb brushing gently against it. His skin left a tingling sensation over my face, and I stared at him. There was a softness to his eyes that held me frozen when he took in the harsh scar. Unable to read him, my heart thudded against my ribs.

The feeling of being backed into a corner was overwhelming, yet I didn't move away. And whether it was me or him moving, our faces were closing in. His breath hot against my mouth, the lingering smell of chlorine wafting against my nostrils-

"FOUND YOU!"

I shot away from Haru so quickly my head banged hard against the wall. Haru was less as startled as I was, instead squinting at the abrupt light flooding into the closet.

"_Ugh_.." I rubbed the bump that was forming at the back of my skull.

"We found you!" Both Ren and Ran sung happily.

"M-Mamo-chan? _Haru_-_chan_?!" Makoto peered into the closet, taking in my pained face and our entangled limps.

"Are you alright?" Haru asked me, and I winced, but nodded. My senses coming back to me, I crawled out of the closet, happy to have some recollection of what _common_ _sense_ was. Makoto hovered over me like a dotting hen, asking repeatedly if I was alright, and it seemed Haru had reverted back to his less talkative self, which was both relieving and disappointing.

For fear another _weird_, questionable moment might occur, I hauled myself in my room -away from Haru- and with an ice-pack to my throbbing head.

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	18. Chapter 18

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 17**

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When Rin had gone out for an early run, he had not expected to run _into _someone, and one that has been the sources of his recent agitation. Especially quite literally. He had been absorbed in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed the smaller body which was turning the other corner. The other person, considerably female, stumbled back, and Rin reached out an instinctive had to balance her. He scowled lightly. "Watch where you're-" He stopped mid-sentence, and familiar green eyes blinked up at him. His scowl deepened, his eyes narrowed. "You-!"

"Ah!" She blinked a few times. "Sharkboy, what're you doing here?"

"I should be asking _you_ that." He growled upon hearing that stupid nickname. "Samezuka campus is right around the block."

She was ignoring him. "Ew, you're sticky." She ran a finger against his forearm, which was slick with sweat. His eyebrow twitched, and he reached out a hand, tugging on her cheek. She whined, and his glare darkened. "_Don't just ignore someone when they're speaking_." He berated.

"Sorry, sorry!" She smiled through the pain of his pinching. He let her go with a scoff.

"_What_ are you doing here." He demanded. She laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head.

"Does there need to be a reason?" He hated when she did that. When she answered his question with a question, pointedly avoiding the subject at hand. It was beyond infuriating, and he had an inkling she was aware of it.

"Yes there does, smartass." He growled, rebuking her by pinching her cheek again.

"Okay, okay!" She surrendered. "I was.. going to the doctor."

"I'm sure their's a clinic in Iwatobi." He rose an eyebrow.

"Yes, but I like _this_ doctor." She blinked at him. He furrowed his eyebrows, using one hand to brush away any strands of maroon that dared to stick to his face.

"Does it really make a difference?"

"Who knows." She shrugged. He narrowed his eyes at her, confused and irritated with the girl. "You look good with a ponytail." She said suddenly. Eyebrows flew up in surprise, and she grinned. He spared her a cautious glance, as if waiting for her to throw in a jeering remark after the compliment, but was only met with expectant silence. He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck, sheepish for judging so quickly.

"Thanks." He mumbled.

It was quiet, and he glanced at her once more. She was staring at him. "What." He bit out.

"Nothing, nothing." A secretive smile tugged at her lips. "So, are you jogging or something?"

"What do you think?"

"Well.."

"Shut up."

She laughed, and he scowled at her. Despite that, their banter was harmless. He noticed with surprise that she was much more sedated in private than she was in a crowd. She was almost.. tolerable. Suddenly curious, he had to ask. "Why're you going to the doctor?"

"Check-up." She said lightly.

"Are you sick or something?"

He watched as she looked away, then she shrugged. "Who knows?" What kind of answer was _that_? She was very closed off. He was no one to speak, seeing as he was the same, though the mystery was almost intriguing, and Rin couldn't help but feel curious. A gust of the morning air made it known that it was still early, and Mamoru flickered a glance at the other teen. She knew he wanted to ask something, and she waited patiently.

Eventually he scoffed. "I would've never guessed you are Makoto's cousin."

"And I'd never guess you were Kou-san's older brother."

"What's that supposed to mean." He shot her a sharp look.

"Anything you want it to." She laughed lightly.

One fine brow rose, then he looked away pointedly. "Whatever."

She grinned at him cheekily. "You're so grumpy, Rin-_chan_." She looked at her watch. "Hm. Gotta go. Don't miss me too much."

He gave her a sour look. "I'll try." Sarcasm evident in his voice.

She smiled and patted his shoulder. "See you."

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered back.

He waited until she started walking away again, watching as she was about to round the corner. Suddenly, she looked back, meeting his gaze. She blinked a few times, and Rin immediately cast his gaze elsewhere, slightly bothered he was caught staring. He heard the faint sound of her chortle, and sent a glare at her for laughing at him. She waved, and this time he raised a single, lackadaisical hand, a scowl still evident in his adieu. Satisfied, she turned around and continued to walk off.

He stared at her back for a few minutes before shaking his head.

.

"Everything's checking up." Smiled a pleasant faced doctor. "Has there been any problems so far?"

Mamoru blinked. "Like what?"

"You know; have you been feeling faint? Unexplained nausea? Have you recalled anything so far?"

"Uh.. well." Mamoru bit her lip. She sighed. "Sometimes I get snippets of conversations. Sometimes I get faces.. but I haven't for a few weeks now. I assumed they were only temporary."

The doctor nodded, then frowned "Have you done anything that might have the potential to hinder your memory?"

"Ah.." She rubbed the back of her neck. "Well.. I had a few drinks with a friend and-"

"I see." The doctor's frown deepened. "Please be sure to stay away from alcohol. Consuming alcohol can only harm you in this state. How many bottles did you have?"

Suddenly embarrassed, and feeling like she had just disappointed the doctor, she held up four fingers. He hummed. "And the type?"

"Smirnoff.." She mumbled.

"Well, that isn't _too_ bad." He exhaled a sigh. "Make sure to stay away from alcohol from now on. Your brain cells already have a lower than average count, deducting anymore may send you in a vegetable state. That's if you do it constantly, although. Mind you, right now with your intake it had only slowed the process of your full recovery." He sent her a firm glance. "Know that there are other copes to deal with the loss of your mother. Counseling is one." He shuffled through some papers. "In fact," He smiled kindly. "There is a GP doctor here. Would you like me to make you an appointment?"

Offended, a scowl tugged on her lips. "I don't need counseling. I'm not emotionally unstable."

The doctor frowned at her attitude. "Tachibana-san, I assure you, counseling is here to _help_ you. Please do not degrade the patients who enjoy it."

"Well, I don't _need_ help." She retorted sharply, her face red with humiliation. She puffed out a few breaths, glaring at the doctor. He sighed, then smiled, which unnerved her. Brown eyes softened, crows-feet crinkling.

"I understand." He scribbled something down on a small notepad. He tore off the paper and handed the chicken-scratch to her."If you _do_ change your mind, I'm sure I can schedule you an appointment. Here's my personal number, so you may call anytime. Please don't abuse it." He warned with a joking smile. Put off by the warmth he radiated, Mamoru reached out hesitant, nimble fingers for the paper, plucking it out of his hands. He offered another smile, and this time she glanced at the name-tag that was pinned to his lab coat.

Arashi Takashi.

Just her luck that his name rhymed.

_Wait_, she blinked. _Takashi_?

"Do you have a daughter, by any chance?" She tried to keep her voice disinterested, but even she could tell there was a hint of dread.

"Ah, yes." A fond, warm smile graced his lips. "She's a year younger than yourself. She can sometimes be a handful." He grumbled the last part to himself.

"What school does she go to?" She was now chewing on her bottom lip. No, _no, **no**_-

"Iwatobi. Her name's Atsuko." He smiled.

**_NO_**.

Her demeanor falling in despondency, she exhaled a heavy sigh. To make it worse, Arashi pulled out a picture of Atsuko, 4 years younger than what she looked like now. "She's cute, hm?" He grinned. Out of politeness, Mamoru nodded. There, in fact, was an elementary school photo of a girl with two high pinktails, a grin so wide it ruined her face. There was no denying it, that was Atsuko. He buried the picture back into the inner pocket of his white coat. Clearing his throat, he recomposed himself. "Of course she's older now." Mamoru nodded again, slumping her shoulders.

"Now," He adjusted his tie. "I have to wonder, how are you paying your expenses? Or is your legal guardians?"

"Oh.. I am." Mamoru muttered, scratching her cheek.

"You have a job?"

"Uh.. no. I'm paying from my savings account."

"I see. I assume you are not planning to go to college?" He frowned.

"I'm not sure." Her voice got quieter, and she looked away.

He sighed, deciding to change the topic. "Do you have any contact with your father?"

"My.. father?" The word was incredibly novice, rolling off of her tongue.

"Yes, your father." Nodded Arashi.

"I don't know him." She admitted. "I don't _think_ I know him.."

Arashi's frown deepened. "I see." It was quiet for a few moments. "Excuse me for prying, but do you plan on contacting him? You never know, it could be a therapeutic experience." He crossed his arms over his chest. Mamoru blinked.

"Haven't really thought of it." Something harsh whispered at the back of her head. A low, dangerous threat. Yet she couldn't decipher it. A warning, but from _what_? Come to think of it, she couldn't recall why her mother and father had divorced. She blinked a few times. Somehow, the possibility of contacting her father was- **_bad, bad, don't do it, you hate him, no, no_**-

It was like hitting a wall. A blank, _hard_ wall that blocked off anything that might help. Frustrated, she gave up. It didn't matter anyway, and she wasn't one to dwell on the past. Shaking her head, she faced Arashi. "Do you think it'll help me remember?"

"I think it's a start." He smiled. He observed her conflicted face for a moment. "I say you hire a private investigator, they'll definitely be able find him." Another push of encouragement. "You may even develop a proper father-daughter relationship. It's your choice in the end."

Mamoru looked back up at him, excitement plastered on her face. "That seems like a good idea." For so long, it had only been her mother and her. The possibility of getting another parent was not only anticipating, but nerve-wracking as well. Was he going to like her? Was _she_ going to like _him_? Did he know her mother.. _passed_? Is he successful? Was he going to like her? Did he have other kids? Is he single? Did he have a dog? Did he like dogs? _Was he going to like her?_

"Thank you." She eventually let out. He nodded, seemingly pleased.

"I'll see you next month."

.

"Are you alright, Mamo-chan?"

"Hm?" She blinked, seemingly taking in her surroundings.

"You've been spacing out recently. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She waved off nonchalantly. "Just thinking."

"About?" They were in Makoto's room, the animated echo of the video game coming to a stop when Haru paused it. Mamoru was watching them play, particularly staring at the corner of the screen. Makoto was the first to mention her lack of attention. Usually she was so enthusiastic about anything competitive, yet she sat there, staring at the corner of the screen. Makoto turned around, facing her fully, while Haru stared from the corner of his eye.

"I went to the doctor this morning." She started.

"Is there something wrong? What did the doctor say?!" Makoto's eyes instantly widened in fear.

"No, no." She hummed with a smile. "He asked me if I wanted to contact my father. He thinks it might spark up some memories, and if it doesn't, then at least I'll be able to have a father, ya know?"

Makoto was quiet, _very_ quiet. Mamoru sent him a glance. "I want to.. but then, it's like something's telling me _not_ to."

"I don't think it's a good idea." He murmured. Haru glanced at his best friend. Makoto continued, his voice strangely serious. "Mamoru.. you can remember without him. Just give it time."

"How much more time?" An agitated Mamoru sighed. "Besides.. I'm kind of curious what type of person he is." She flopped onto Makoto's bed. Her cousin frowned.

"If something's telling you not to, then you should trust your instincts." His voice was a bit stronger now, almost overprotective.

"Instincts can only get you so far." She said lazily. "Logically, it seems like a stable idea. I thought you'd support my decision - not discourage it." She glanced at him. Haru could feel the rising tension, and he glanced at the two cousins silently. He rose from his spot on the ground, patting his clothing before voicing that he had to go to the bathroom.

"Mamoru.." Makoto started, his tone unreadable. "I just don't think it's a bright idea. You haven't seen him in who knows how long. You don't know what type of person he is."

"Well, I'll get to know what type of person he is when I meet him." She rose to a seating position. Makoto's bright, warm eyes met her questioning, defensive gaze. With his eyes, he tried to get her to understand that he didn't want her to do this, although unlike him and Haru, they did not share a telepathic relationship. His frown deepened, her eyebrows furrowed. "Why don't you say what's really on your mind, Makoto." She challenged.

"_Mamoru_.." He tried. A deep sigh pushed from his lips.

"You just don't want me to see him, is that it?"

"Yes." He blurted. They were both standing, facing each other as individualists. Her eyebrows rose, then she scoffed.

"You two lead two different lives now. Contacting him now would be-"

"Bothersome?" She echoed. Makoto quieted. "Is that how you see me now? As a burden?"

"No! That's not what I meant-"

"Yes it is!" She snapped. "I _get_ it." She grumbled. "You haven't seen me since I was six. By me coming here, I've imposed on your life. I _know_ that, I'm not stupid. It wasn't my choice, nor was it yours. But this is different. He's my father. Do I not have a right to meet him? Are you going to take that away from me?" Each word seemed to elevate in volume.

"Mamoru.. You didn't impose on-"

She let out a deep sigh, looking worn out. "Whatever. I'm done with this conversation." She attempted to brush past him, but a hand shot out to her wrist, rooting her to her place.

"_Mamoru_," His voice was low, determined not to leave the things like this - unsettled and precarious. "That's _not_ what I meant. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I'm sorry." Seeing her tense by such sincerity, he continued. "Please forgive me." He heard her sniffle. His grip went slack on her wrist, and he peaked around to see her face. There was that vulnerable look in her eyes, which were glazed and brimming with tears, and he smiled apologetically. She glanced at him, then his smile, before directing her gaze else where. The silence drawled out longer, and Makoto was about to sigh with defeat when she yielded.

"...'Kay." She murmured.

.

.

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	19. Chapter 19

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 18**

* * *

.

.

.

When he saw her again, it was under different circumstances. This time, it seemed off. She hadn't even noticed him, much less address him with that stupid pet name. She was in a daze, thinking to herself quietly. There was no one around, oddly enough, and the air was dull, summoning only the fall and crash of the waves as they hit the shore. He contemplated whether or not he should approach her. Originally, he was there to visit Haru and the others at his place, he had almost assumed she was going to be there as well. Yet here she was, sitting quietly by herself. She seemed to be deep in thought, and an unworldly aura surrounded her, grounded her to the earth. It was like she was the background herself, and if one had not stopped to admire his surroundings, they would've brushed past her unknowingly.

To hell with it, he thought.

"That expression doesn't suite you." Rin called from his place. Seated on a creaky, old bench, Mamoru fetched a glance over to the source of sound. Green eyes met auburn, blinking once, twice, then a smile tugged at her lips - yet this one seemed to be done out of instinct. "Oh, it's you."

"That's it?" He scoffed. Now with renewed confidence to egg him on, he plopped down onto the worn bench. She blinked again.

"What d'ya mean?"

"No 'hey sharkboy'? Or your usual idiocy?"

She pouted. "It's called being _friendly_." Then she smiled. "I didn't know you endeared my nickname so much, Sharkboy."

He narrowed eyes at her cheeky grin. "Shut up." She raised her hands up in surrender. He waited for her to say something, although only silence hung in the air. It was deafening. "What're you doing here?"

"Hm?" Blink. "Admiring the view, among other things."

An eyebrow rose. "I mean, shouldn't you be at Haru's, like the others?"

"Not really." She shrugged. "I just came from the store." She fished out a chocolate wrapper from her jeans as evidence before shoving it down her pocket again. The eyebrow rose higher.

"Shouldn't you go home then?"

"Probably."

She snickered when he growled, as if it was funny that she was pissing him off with such vague answers. Frustrated, he stood up. "C'mon already. Let's go."

She stared at him. "Huh?"

"We're going to Haru's."

"No thanks." This time he stared at her.

"Are you mad or something?"

"No."

"You are."

"No I'm not."

"Then why not?!" He snapped. She glanced at him.

"Because I don't feel like it today."

"Argh. You know what-! Whatever." He turned around, stalking off. "I'm leaving."

"Bye-bye."

"I'm serious."

"Okay, bye."

"..."

"..."

He exhaled a deep, patronizing sigh, frustration frittering away. He came back, sitting on the other side of the bench. "What's wrong."

"Why do you assume something's wrong?" She asked lightly.

"Because you're acting like _this_."

"I'm not acting like anything."

"Yes you are!" He shot her a glare. "What is it."

"Don't you have to meet with Haru and the others?" She glanced at his dark glare. The look on his face intensified, and she shuddered. "Scary." She muttered to herself.

"Then don't waste my time. Spit it out."

They sat in silence, and Mamoru stared out into the horizon. Rin's eyebrow twitched. "Didn't you hear me?-"

"You're probably wondering how I came to live with Makoto." He kept silent when she cut him off, awaiting her explanation impatiently. "Well, in a quick short story - my mom died and I was sent to live with my legal guardians. She died in a car crash and I was in the back seat. See this?" She moved away her hair to shine light upon the ugly, conspicuous scar that ran along her temple in a jagged zigzag. Rin's eyes widened. He had caught glimpses of the healed wound, though never thought twice of it. "I got brain damage from that car crash, and now I can't remember anything past the age six. My doctor recommend I get in touch with my father, because he thinks it'll stir up some memories. Coincidentally, I haven't seen him since I was six, so I don't know what he's like. It's like a weird soap opera, and I'm here because I don't exactly feel like being social right now. Happy? Satisfied? It's what you wanted to know, right? Now that you know, I'm sure you are capable of leaving me be when I desire a few -_a few_- minutes alone." Primly, she stood up, patting any wrinkles in her jeans away.

Rin sat in shock, speechless of what he had just heard. Seeing her leave without so much of a warning, he shot up, following her as well. "Oi." She kept walking. "**_Oi_**." A hand clasped around her wrist, yanking her back to face the teen. "What.. what you said - is it true?"

"No." She laughed, the sound hollow. "It was a joke. It's from a book I read."

"Like hell it was!" He exploded. "That _scar_. It all makes sense." He muttered to himself. He glared at her, and she blinked, completely and utterly detached. Finally, he turned around and yanked her forcibly to where they sat before. She sat down, rubbing her wrist gingerly. He was staring at her, this time in a new light. The silence drawled out longer, and Mamoru felt unpleasant about the entire ordeal. The words seemed to have rush out of her mouth, and she realized that once they were out, it was liberating. Maybe she just needed to vent, in order to distract her ruminating mind.

"Why'd you tell me that?" He demanded.

"Who knows?" She shrugged, the answer as honest as she could manage right at that point. She frankly did not know why she had told him that. It was bad enough Haru and Makoto knew, but now _Rin_? She was growing more impulsive by the day, yet somehow she did not regret it. It wasn't like Rin would tell anyone, right? And even if he did, then who really gives a damn?

He frowned, and he looked away. Half of her wondered if he was going to snap at her like before, but he was quiet.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..Uh.. Sharkboy?"

"Fuckin' idiot." She waited for more, but it was quiet again. She moved to stand up, but his voice was low and intimidating. "_Sit_." She plopped back down without question. Silence.

A sigh. "My dad died when I young." Mamoru tensed. "He was a fisherman. His ship went down in a typhoon. He wanted to become an Olympic swimmer, but he instead had me. For the longest time, I aspired to achieve his dream. It was only until recently that I realized how much of an ass I was making myself." Mamoru snorted, and Rin glared. She shut up. "Haru, and the others.. they set me free. I don't understand exactly how you're feeling.. but I know what it feels like, to be caged in." Mamoru quieted. She stared down at her feet.

Questionably, her vision blurred, and she captured any tears that threatened to fall with the heel of her palm. A breeze, gentle and fresh from the ocean air licked at their exposed skin. Rin glanced back at her, assessing her reaction. His eyes softened upon seeing teeth dig into her bottom lip as it trembled. She calmed, letting out a shuddering sigh.

It was quiet again, and this time it was awkward. Eventually Mamoru sighed. "Why'd you tell me that?"

He flicked her a glance, and with a deep scowl he looked away. "Who knows."

* * *

I stared at my ceiling for awhile. The conversation with Rin was rather insightful, as well as liberating. It almost felt as if he _understood_. That was weird, considering it was Rin. A guy I barely knew, much less trusted. Then again, he could say the same about me. I smiled to myself, thinking a bit more. Despite our banters usually taking the turn for the worst -today a worst case scenario that had occurred- I felt lighter. I felt calmer. I felt confident.

And with that thought in mind, it was the last push I needed to contact my father. Makoto would just have to put up with it.

When I thought about it, it was my father. The man who had helped in the making of my creation. Therefore I'd fit in with him more easily than if it were my cousins. With him, I didn't need to worry about being a hindrance. I frowned. Makoto hadn't exactly said I wasn't a burden, although he _did_ apologize. Did he actually think I was a handicap? I wouldn't blame him. After all, if some random kid moved in with me within a day's notice, I'd be uncomfortable. I'd have to share my food. I'd have to take responsibility so she wouldn't be lonely at school - because she just moved here, what friend's could she possibly have? I'd have to wake up every day knowing that a relative I've hadn't had contact with for years veraciously forgotten my existence - therefore she was a _stranger_. Not only that, but he has had to put up with my blubbering, and even offered his bed one night. I had to face it - I was an encumbrance to Makoto. Not only him, but to his friends as well. Almost everyday they had to put up with me because the only friend I had was my gardening-buddy.

This had to stop, I told myself. I cannot depend on Makoto for everything. I was usually more independent. _This_ was exactly why I never got attached to someone. I'd latch onto them, I'd never want them to leave. If Makoto left me.. I shook my head. No, I don't want to think about it. I needed to find my own place. My own place where I _belonged_. This situation was one that I've been forced into, as well as Makoto, and I took advantage of it. We had no choice in the matter. This time, when I distance myself, I'd have a destination in mind.

I _will_ see my father.

.

"Alright, well it was nice speaking to you, Tachibana-san."

"Thank you, you too." I echoed politely. I hung up, snapping my phone closed. I had just scheduled an appointment with a private detective in a couple of days. One step closer, I smiled to myself.

"Mamo-chan, who were you talking to?" Makoto asked curiously from his place in the kitchen.

"Hm?" I smiled. I contemplated whether I should tell him. Eventually I shrugged. "Private detective." I answered. There was no real use in hiding it.

He stopped what he was doing. His parents were out at work, and he was stuck washing the dishes. I decided to help him, drying them with a cloth. I could feel his eyes on me.

"_Mamoru_," He started. I winced.

"I know that you don't want me to, but I think it's a good idea." I risked a glance, and he sighed.

"I see," He mumbled.

He's mad. I could feel the trickles of anxiety seep into my system. I couldn't fight the urge to glance at him every once in a while.

"Sorry for making you angry."

"I'm not angry."

"I can see the lies in your eyes."

"I'm not angry, Mamo-chan." He sighed. "I just don't think it's a good idea."

I shut up. Then I frowned. "It's my decision."

"I know that."

"Then why are you mad?!"

"I'm not mad, Mamoru." I gave up. He was almost as stubborn as I was! Then again, I was just trying to stir up a fight with my cousin, and maybe he detected that.

"I'm not going to cry again." I said suddenly. "I can handle the truth."

He glanced at me momentarily. "You haven't seen him in over 10 years."

"I didn't see you for the exact same amount, yet I still came here."

"That was different, Mamoru." He stared into my eyes, and I was fixated on his intensity. "You had no choice."

"There's always a choice." I looked away. "I could've completely disregarded you. I could've ignored everyone." I bit out. "But I didn't, and that was my choice. This is also my choice."

A deep, long sigh emanated from his mouth. He smiled at me, and that almost seemed to dissipate the tension. "I understand." I could sense that he wanted to say more, but nothing followed after that. I frowned, and left him to tend to the dishes alone, the atmosphere odd and unbalanced.

* * *

"Mamo-chan! Why didn't you come over Haru-chan's on the weekend? We were all waiting for you!"

Dressed in her usual swimming trunks and t-shirt, she sighed. With a snooty scoff, she crossed her arms across her chest. "Because! I didn't want to see you."

"So mean!" Wailed Nagisa from his place in the pool. She winked at him with a grin. "Hey, Mamo-chan, come inside!" He beckoned eagerly. She already had expendable clothing on, so it naught mattered if she got a little wet.

She blinked. "No thanks."

He whined. "Why not! You only came in once, and that was weeks ago!"

"You forced me in." Mamoru deadpanned.

"Oh right." He tapped his bottom lip. Makoto, Rei and Gou sighed in unison. Mamoru's eye twitched. Nagisa glided closer to her with a sly grin. "Come _on_, Mamo-chan!"

"No."

"Mamo-chan!"

"It is rather hot." Rei said absentmindedly, drying his hair with a towel.

"Che." She scratched her nose. "I'm not hot at all."

"You're sweating." Rei said bluntly.

She looked away pointedly and Rei sweat-dropped.

Nagisa crept up behind her, using this as a valuable distraction. Playfully, he shoved her in, before diving in after her. Unfortunately, it was the deep-end, taking a few prolonged seconds until she submerged. She shook the water out of her hair with a exhausted gasp. Immediately, she latched onto Nagisa, flailing her limps to stay afloat.

Nagisa enjoyed the attention, smiling brightly. One hand slithered around the curve of her back, keeping her close to him as she grasped his shoulders. "Don't _do_ that!" She glared angrily.

"Ah, sorry sorry." He wasn't sorry at all.

Teasingly, he swam away, leaving her to fend for herself. "N-Nagisa!" She snapped. The Iwatobi swimmers blanked as they saw her doggypaddle. Nagisa blinked as she huffed with the exerted effort she put in.

"She's.." Makoto paled.

"..so slow.." Haru finished, just as distraught. They all flinched when she sent them a dark glare, obviously hearing them. Haru stared for a moment before diving in. With fluid movements, he was beside her within seconds. "Here." He said, moving so that his back faced her. "Grab my shoulders." She blinked once, twice, then grumbled. Haru felt slippery fingers grab onto his shoulders, her chest pressed against his back.

Makoto watched as Haru swam with Mamoru as one would do with an inexperienced child. She clung to him, obviously amazed at how fast he swam, even with the addition of her weight holding him back.

"No fair!" Nagisa pouted. "I wanted to swim with Mamo-chan too!"

"From this angle she looks like a toddler being taught how to swim." Rei commented. "Not beautiful at all."

"Oh the irony." Gou and Nagisa sighed simultaneously. Rei flushed. Makoto chuckled and patted Rei's shoulder sportingly.

"Oi! I heard that!" Mamoru glared.

.

.

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	20. Chapter 20

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 19**

* * *

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.

.

"It was very nice meeting you, Mamoru Tachibana-san." Said a prim, hefty woman. The glare of her glasses flickered when she smiled, the light reflecting off of the rimless spectacles. She was shuffling papers in an orderly fashion, placing them into a drawer Mamoru couldn't see behind the desk. She gave Mamoru another tight, professional smile, and said girl mirrored it.

"Uh.. you too." Mamoru eventually said, taken aback by how quick the woman worked. "When will I be expecting a call?"

"Oh that," The woman smiled. "I should be able to dig up something of value by.. maybe the end of the week? The call may be at random, but expect something soon."

"Thank you very much." She bowed, regathering her belongings before scurrying out of the office.

When the warm air swarmed her, she instantly regretted leaving the air conditioned office so soon. She sighed, content with the business she had just accomplished. With her mother, she always refused doing anything by herself, claiming that she wasn't an adult. It wasn't as bad when she was in the process of doing it, but she always had an inkling that the people older than herself would pierce holes through her body just by their judgmental stare.

She shivered. It was worse when they seemed annoyed because she was an inexperienced kid by their standards, it was even worse when she didn't know what she was doing. Expectantly, this woman seemed to be slightly annoyed, which made Mamoru fidget with nervousness.

Her thought process melted when a buzz tingled her thigh. She pulled out her phone. A text from.. Nagisa?

How'd he even get her number? The only ones that had her phone number was her Uncle and Atsuko. Her Uncle was for emergencies, and Atsuko.. Well, Atsuko just stole her phone and typed in her phone number when she wasn't paying attention one day. Atsuko didn't exactly like Nagisa, and she was sure the feeling was mutual. Then Makoto..? Makoto must have got it from her Uncle, then passed it onto Nagisa. Though if Nagisa had it, then didn't that mean the others had it too?

She grumbled under her breath. She didn't _use_ her phone. That was mainly because no one really texts her, but still, she didn't hand out her phone number on a whim as well. She was quite content that no one could really bug her outside of school. Her last best-friend had her number, but Mamoru deleted hers awhile ago.

She shook her head.

'_Hey! Mamochan on friday we're going to the amusement park in Kiriyamacho!Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ -NAGISA:_)'

Her eyebrows furrowed. Kiriyamacho was 30 minutes away from Iwatobi. That uptight private detective lady was going to call anytime, and just her luck that Friday was at the end of the week - the expectant day of her phone call. She had no choice but the decline. '_How did u get my #?! (-_-) & not interested._'

She waited a few seconds. '_(^ω^＊) Silly Mamochan you have no choice in the matter!& thats my lil secret!_'

'_(; ・_・)_'

'_( ^.^)b_'

'_8==D_'

'_(*゜Д゜*)_'

Mamoru started laughing uncontrollably at the reaction. This was exactly why she never texts anyone.

'_what are you texting nagisa -haruka_' She stared at the new message. The foreign number blinking on her screen.

'_...Nothing & u have my # too?!_'

'_yes_'

'_Who else does?_'

'_rei kou and makoto_'

'_Who the heck is giiving out my number?! (-_-)_'

He didn't answer, and she sighed. Another buzz from Nagisa. '_Mamochan where were you today? It's swim practice and you're not here! You weren't there for lunch either!'_

_'Skipped.'_

_'Why didn't you tell us! Skipping is bad!' _She blinked, then rose an eyebrow. Was _Nagisa_ of all people really lecturing her on attendance? What's that taste? Oh it was irony with a hint of hypocrisy. She tapped a quick reply.

'_Idgaf_'

'_:O_'

'_:P_'

'_:(_'

'_Aw poor bby_'

'_:)'_

'_jk'_

'_:O_'

.

The day blurred into the next. The anticipation building up like a tower of LEGOS. Slowly but surely, Mamoru became fidgety, awaiting the call that would bring her one step closer-

One step closer to what?

Mamoru blinked. Well, that was easy. She was doing this for herself, for the others. Maybe she was being arrogant, thinking that her father would immediately welcome her with open arms, but in a way, it was logical. If a parent hadn't seen their offspring in a long amount of time, it was only rational to think that they would be excited to see them again. That was, unless, they harbored ill feelings for that child. She was getting anxious again. Would he like her? Was he anything like mom? She was so curious she was afraid to find out.

"Mamoru-san, are you alright?" It was Rei's voice that had snapped her out of her trace. She blinked before fixating a look at her classmate. Rei pushed his firetruck red glasses back up the bridge of his nose. At his question, unnecessary attention snapped to focus on the two. Mamoru smiled thinly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"It's unsightly to lie so obviously." He was much more blunt than she assessed, that was for sure. She sighed, rubbing the back of her head in a sheepish manner.

"I'm just a bit anxious is all. Nothing to worry about."

He frowned. "Are you sure?" She nodded.

This time a hand snatched hers. She blinked in surprise. "You've been picking your fingers." Said a flat voice. She looked over at Haruka, who held her hand in his, observing the raw, pink finger tips. She had been subconsciously picking at the skin of her fingers, which now stung as cool air caressed the callow skin. One was seeping blood when he tentatively squeezed it. "Ouch." She deadpanned.

He ignored her, glancing at his best friend. "..Makoto."

"Got it." Her cousin responded. He dug into his back pocket, pulling out a few band-aids. How he was always prepared was beyond her. Maybe it was for Ren and Ran? She mused. It would make sense, seeing as they were children, and children were prone to stupidity and recklessness

She stared at the skin toned band-aids when her cousin was finished. She attempted to claw Nagisa's upper arm, but the band-aids wrapped around her finger tips prevented any damage. "Huh." She said. "I guess this is what a cat feels like when you cut it's nails."

"Mamo-chan!" Nagisa started huffily, pushing away her hands when she attempted the claw him again. "Why are you picking your fingers?"

"Dunno." She shrugged. "It was a habit I developed as a kid, but I thought I broke it when I was 10. It's kind of like when people bite their nails." _Or pick their nose_, she added mentally.

"People bite their nails for various reasons, one that's common is a nervous habit." Rei spoke up. "Finger picking is another cope for contentment as well." It wasn't strange that Rei was rather informed -since wikipedia was like his guru-, so the rest of the Iwatobi swim club members sent their pointed looks to Mamoru instead, who jolted with the sudden attention.

"It could also be done when people are bored!" She got defensive. "I was just bored, is all."

Makoto frowned, thinking to himself. Haru seemed to be deep in thought as well. This scenario was all too familiar.

.

.

"Mamo-chan, what're you doing?"

"Hm?" They were in Makoto's room, both him and Haru playing Jenga while she watched. She seemed out of focus, though Makoto put it off - thinking she was maybe tired. The young girl blinked. She glanced at her cousin, who seemed to be staring directly at her hands. Small finger tips were raw and pink, stinging and twitching yet she still picked at them. They started to take a red pigmentation, an indicator that it seemed very painful.

"Stop that!" Haru snapped, voice high and a glare stern. A little Makoto gasped when they started to bleed. "Why're you doing that?" Haru muttered to himself, grabbing her wrists.

"Huh?" Green eyes blinked. "I didn't notice, sorry."

"Mamo-chan.." Makoto murmured, his voice soft. "Does it hurt?"

"Yeah." She admitted.

"If it hurts, then stop doing it." Haru was upset, holding her hands so she would not make her fingers bleed again. She pouted, equally as upset.

"I said I didn't notice!"

"Well, start noticing."

"Maa, maa," Makoto sweatdropped with a smile. "It's alright. We'll just get some band-aids for your fingers." They both quieted, agreeing on the alternative. Then Mamoru sniffled.

"It's stings, Mako-chan." She whimpered pathetically. Fat tears welt up in her eyes when she realized how scathing the raw flesh felt when exposed. The sharp, smarting pain throbbed, and Haru frowned. He blew gently onto them, quelling the hot stinging as best as he could. Makoto panicked, frantically running towards the bathroom, where he knew the bandages were kept.

"A-ah! Hold on a minute, Mamo-chan!"

.

"Stupid." Haru said bitterly. Makoto sighed in relief. Mamoru glared at the water-infatuated boy.

"Hey! I'm not stupid!" She retorted lamely. Haru rolled his eyes, and Makoto smiled. The bandages were bound tightly onto her fingers, the pressure lulling the pain into nonexistence. Her eyes were a little red from the crying she had did, but as she clenched her fingers, enjoying how her palms went from red to white with blood suppression, the two boys realized she was back to normal.

"Mamoru-chan, your mother is here to pick you up." Makoto's father poked his head in. Mamoru pouted.

"So soon?" Makoto's father smiled.

"Don't worry, you're coming next weekend. Say goodbye to Makoto and Haruka-kun."

"Okay.." She mumbled. "Bye guys."

"We'll see you out." Makoto smiled sadly. He turned to Haru, who had nodded in agreement.

In the foyer stood a slender, tanned woman. Her hair was dark but the light gave her head a hue of green. Wide, forest green eyes crinkled with warmth when landing upon the children. "How are you Makoto-kun? I hope Mamoru wasn't a handful?"

"Not at all." Makoto beamed. The woman ruffled his hair.

"You've gotten more handsome by the day! Look at you. You're going to be a lady-killer when you're older!" She teased, pulling him in for a noogie that ruffled his hair in different directions. Makoto whined, his cheeks flushing bright red as he tried to smooth out his hair. His father chuckled deeply, his wife laughing as well - a hand rubbing the slight bump in her abdomen. Haru glared at the woman who had harassed his best friend. She pointed laughing green eyes at him suddenly.

"Oh? Who's this?" She shot a look to her daughter. "Is he your _boyfriend_, Mamoru-chan?" She turned to her brother. "Nii-san, why didn't you tell me my daughter had a boyfriend? Her innocence is on the line!"

Makoto's father chuckled nervously. "Sachiko, that's Haruka Nanase, his family lives down the street. He comes here often."

"Haruka Nanase?" The eccentric woman smiled kindly at the dark haired boy. Haru was dumbfounded. "I like the name. You have my approval."

"Auntie, he's not Mamo-chan's boyfriend." Makoto finally intervened. She glanced at him in surprise. Then she turned to her daughter.

"You've lied to your mother?!" Sachiko gasped dramatically.

"Mommy, you're not funny!" Mamoru finally shouted, humiliated and red. "Totally not cool at all!"

They all chuckled with the exception of Haru, who's brain cells were still reaccumulating from the shock of this woman. This woman who was the mother of Mamoru. The contrasts in their personalities were stark, yet the similarities in appearance was uncanny. Mirroring eyes, identical faces, with the exception that Mamoru's face was still chubby with youth. Her hair also leaned towards a very dark brown, rather than green - like her mother's.

"Geez." Mamoru's mother sighed, placing her hands on her hips. "I guess it's time to go home."

Immediately Mamoru's demeanor darkened, to Makoto's and Haru surprise. Mamoru's mother frowned knowingly. "Come on, Mamoru-chan. We have to."

Mamoru started picking at her bandages, looking for a source of distraction as she quietly nodded.

.

.

* * *

It was when we were on our way to the amusement park when I had gotten the call. Just my luck, when I was surrounded by people I knew was when I had gotten it. I couldn't even decipher how I had managed to get kidnapped onto the train. All I remember was a flurry of blonde hair and red glasses. I blame Nagisa. Yes, it was all Nagisa's fault. Upon feeling my phone vibrate, I snapped it open, pressing it against my ear. Barely concealed excitement caused my leg to twitch, bouncing up and down.

"H-hello..?" I croaked.

"Yes, hello. Is this Mamoru Tachibana-san?" Asked the vaguely familiar voice. I assumed it was that private detective lady. Makoto glanced curiously at me when I smiled.

"This is she."

"Ah, Tachibana-san. I've contacted your father, and he is willing to communicate with you. His name is Fuzen Fujiwara. Born June 3rd of 1977. He's lives in the Harajuku District of Tokyo. Hm.. He's remarried, with two sons. Here's his phone number, I suggest you write this down." I scrambled for a pen, though couldn't find a paper. I made use of my forearm.

"Go ahead." I spluttered in a haste.

She gave out the digits in a slow, bored voice. I felt slightly offended. I wasn't stupid. Then again if she were to say the number in a quick voice, I'd probably ask her to slow down.

"Thank you so much!" My gratitude easily overruled my attitude as I grinned from ear-to-ear.

"No problem, Tachibana-san. He is expecting a call as soon as possible." Said the strict woman. I grinned.

"Yes, of course!" I beamed.

When she hung up, I was still grinning like a maniac.

"Who was that?" Makoto asked.

"Pri-" I stopped. I didn't want to disappoint him on our way to the amusement park. No. _I didn't have to bug Makoto anymore_. My mood dimmed, and I put on a small smile. "Atsuko." Makoto tilted his head curiously, then glanced at the number written on my arm. "She met a guy.. and wanted to double date with me. She gave me his number to text.." I drawled out carefully.

"Is it Nitori." Haru immediately interrogated. I blinked a few times. I hadn't even noticed the others were listening in.

"Um.." Psh. I wish. "Yes. Yes it is." I smiled.

"Mamo-chan, you're not supposed to plan dates when you're busy already!" Nagisa cut in with a pout.

I rolled my eyes, with a smirk I leaned back. "I guess I'm just a heartbreaker." I said smugly. I leaned back too much as the train came to a sudden stop, accidentally falling over the edge. I flushed when I heard the resounding snickers.

_Of course_, I thought grimly.

.

.

.

* * *

**A/n: Sachiko means 'happy child'**

**Fuzen means 'mischief' or 'sin'**

**Fujiwara means 'field of wisterias'**


	21. Chapter 21

**Testing The Waters**

.

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**Chapter 20**

* * *

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.

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The amusement park was nothing of what I expected. Since Kiriyamacho was a relatively small town, I had the impression that the entertainment was minor, if not less than efficient. That wasn't the case. Tall, powerful, intimidating rollercoasters rose up from the ground like a tower. Mind you their are only two of the sorts, but they were landmarks in themselves.

"Amazing!" Nagisa beamed, the others nodding in agreement, adding their own commentaries as well. The blonde spun to face Rei.

"Rei-chan! We _have_ to ride everything!" The bespectacled boy pushed his framed glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"We might not have- Oi! _Nagisa_. Don't just drag me!"

"C'mon Rei-chan!" The blonde exclaimed, tugging the other boy in the direction of the ticket booth. Makoto chuckled and Haru sighed. I watched Rei in pity. Then again, better someone else than me, I say.

Makoto smiled at Haru and I. "Let's go get our tickets." Haru nodded and I blinked.

"Hey, guys!" Called a familiar voice. We looked back, seeing Gou and her friend Chigusa trailing behind. "What're the odds?" The redhead smiled.

"Kou-chan!" Makoto smiled pleasantly upon seeing the familiar female. "You're here too?"

"Yup!" She beamed, brighter than ever now that Makoto used her feminine name. "We were just about to get our tickets." Chigusa smiled at both of us, and I returned it politely.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I said suddenly, my stomach churning in agreement.

"Oh, don't go alone, you might get lost. I'll go with you." Makoto instantly said, and I sighed.

"It's fine, it's fine." I was trying **_not_ **to bother him anymore. "I won't get lost."

A small frown. "You sure?" Yes mom, I refrained from saying aloud.

I nodded. He smiled. "Well.. alright. We'll be right here."

.

Portapottis were always such a hassle. They were cramped, stuffy, and_ holy hell it smells like death._ I scowled, a small distasteful grimace upon my lips when I pushed the door open. I patted over to where the makeshift sink was, cleaning my hands as much as I can. Eventually I ended up dosing my palms with sanitizer, rubbing my hands together and mildly entertaining myself with the liquid-y squishy sounds the sanitizer brought. That's when I noticed the figure watching me blankly. I turned my head slowly to meet the steady gaze of Haru, and jolted.

"Don't sneak up on me!" I hissed, a hand to my heart. He rose an eyebrow, although didn't comment. I exhaled a sigh. "What're you doing here?"

"Makoto asked me to come with you so you wouldn't get lost." He said dryly. Whoa. _Someone's_ sassy today.

I sighed again. "I said I wouldn't get lost." I rubbed the back of my neck. Besides, if I got lost, I could just text them, right? I had no idea why they felt the need to coddle me, I wasn't a child, and I _was not_ trying to be a burden any longer. I lightened a bit. Yeah, soon I won't be a bother to them. I wouldn't just be 'Makoto's cousin that moved in with him' anymore. My father would accept me, right? He had to. He even wanted to contact me! That had to say something, right? He was given the option whether or not he would want to speak to me, and he chose it -unlike Makoto and his family, who were forced into the predicament of taking care of me. Yeah, I nodded to myself. Things will be better this time around. Things will fit back into place, like how they did when Mom was still alive.

.

_Mom_

.

Strange. I haven't been thinking of her lately. Before I could mull over it, Haru spoke up.

"What are you thinking about?" I blinked, surprised by the sudden question. I glanced at him, who was watching me intently. I blinked again.

"Nothing." I said instinctively. Haru frowned, but didn't pry. We started back to where Makoto and the others were. All was quiet, until-

"You said you didn't like him." It took me a moment to realize what he was talking about, and I blinked again.

"Huh?" I paused. "Are you talking about.. Nitori-kun?" I looked around as if his name was a hoax. Haru didn't look at me. Blatantly, I stared. "...Hey." A smirk was tugging at my lips. "Are you _jealous_?" He snapped a glare at me and I snorted. "You _are_!"

"Don't assume things." For some reason, his tone made my smirk widen.

I weaved my hands around his arm, leering at him in a joking manner. "Don't worry Haru-_chan_! It's just a date." He twitched at the use of his nickname, his eye narrowing. At his glare, I sighed. "Sheesh. I was kiddin'! I know you're not jealous." I let go of him and placed my hands behind my head. "That'd be impossible." I snorted.

.

Nagisa, Rei and I had a blast at the amusement park. For once, I think Nagisa and I had formed a short-term truce between each other, agreeing only to tease Rei for now- who was red and flustered by our advances. Makoto skipped out on the rollercoaster rides after riding the first one, and Haru stuck by his side. I think that may have been too much for my softhearted cousin. We met up with Gou and her friend again for lunch, eating out. Although, for some reason, it seemed Haru was in an even worse mood than before. I tried talking to him, but he literally ignored me. I had to do a double take. Was he _actually_ ignoring me?

It felt odd, but that didn't warrant a 'good' type of odd. I've never felt that neglected before. Had I upset him? What did I even _do_? I couldn't help but feel my eyes glaze when I thought about it. I guess that just proves it, right? I really didn't belong with them at all. No, I shook my head. I wouldn't think about such depressing things when I was out with everyone, I'd just start crying, and lord knows how awkward that would be.

I was being oversensitive - yet I had to wonder why. In America, I hadn't really been emotionally attached to anyone of interest, with the exception of my mother. Emotions were messy and frivolous, is what I told myself. It _wasn't_ built on logic. Therefore my own were barely explored. To be called a bitch wouldn't matter, seeing as that _person_ didn't _matter_ to me. Yet to be ignored so blatantly, by someone who I considered a friend felt like a slap to the face, and I was surprised. I was surprised by how sensitive I actually was.

The train ride back had been quiet. Everyone was a bit tuckered out, and the adrenaline was flushing out of our system. Nagisa sat slump in his seat, resting his head against Rei's shoulder, who was also out like a light. Gou was rubbing her eyes, and her friend was on her phone. I kept blinking, trying to keep my eyelids awake, yet it proved difficult each time. To my right sat Haru, who stared out at the passing scenery, and beside him was Makoto, who was in a light daze - completely spaced out.

I kept to myself, not wanting to bother Haru anymore than I already had, yet the silence only lulled me to desire sleep. I sighed, tension streaming out of my shoulders. I closed my eyes, my head falling forwards, then jolting back up. I blinked, determined to stay awake.

A few minutes ticked away, my head was falling forward again, and I did nothing to stop it but lean my back against my seat. Sleep was calling to me, and I laid my head against something comfortable, which was stiff and warm.

* * *

Haru glanced at Mamoru when she leaned on the passenger beside her, who blinked at the stranger sleeping on him. He looked around, his eyes wide, then blinked again - obviously confused. Haru sighed, a hand reaching out to guide Mamoru's head onto _his_ shoulder. The stranger smiled in thanks and Haru nodded. Her body curled up against his, an arm weaving around his own, mumbling something incoherent. Haru stared, a small, rare smile tilting the corners of his lips. It was wiped away when he heard her mumbling again.

"No.. you bastard.. that's my grain of.. cheese." Haru deadpanned, silently wondering what type of dream she was having. Quietly, he rested his head on her own, listening to her slurred words in silent amusement.

"...mhm.. a.. new hat.."

* * *

Imagine my surprise when I woke up in my own bed, tucked in without my shoes. I assumed Makoto did it. He seemed like the type to do so. I sighed. Somehow I still managed to have fallen asleep. Maybe the day had tired me out much more than I expected?

I shook my head. It was the weekend, and-

I gasped. I could finally call him! I scrambled for my phone, finding it on my nightstand. I snatched it, and with a grin rolled up my sleeve, exposing my arm. The numbers were smudged but were still literate. I dialed the number, about to hit the call button when I paused. Hesitation was like a splash of cool water. I gulped, my heart beating wildly in my chest. My fingers trembled, and I started to sweat out of nervousness. Finally, I shook it off, cringing as I pressed 'call'.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three- "..Hello?"

I almost threw the phone away with a squeal, but immediately calmed down. The voice spoke again. It was relatively childish, and I couldn't decipher whether it was a young boy or girl. ".._Hellooooo_?"

"Yes, hello!" I blinked. "Is.. Is Fuzen Fujiwara there?"

"Uhhhh..." I twitched. "Yup!" The voice grew faint, as if the kid had pulled it away from his mouth. "Dad! Some weird lady is on the phone!" I twitched again. Ungrateful, impolite little-

"Hello?" This time I froze. The voice was deep and masculine. I gulped.

"Y-yes, hello!" My excitement laced into my voice, and I inwardly cursed. "Uh.. this is.. Mamoru Tachibana.." I trailed off, feeling sheepish.

"Ah!" Surprise was in his voice. "Mamoru!" I was suddenly grinning like a fool. "I was expecting your call yesterday."

"Oh, that.." I drawled. "I was out with some friends, and hadn't got home until really late."

"That's understandable." Awkward silence. "...How are you?"

For some reason, my vision was blurring in and out of focus. "G-good!" I spluttered, surprised when I felt familiar stinging in my eyes. "I'm really good!"

"That's good." He echoed, and I sniffled. "I heard about your mother. I flew in for the funeral, I think I missed you."

My shoulder's started trembling, and a hand flew to my mouth, stifling any noises that might've escaped. "Are you alright?" He asked tentatively. I tried to compose myself, but the embarrassment and guilt gnawed at me.

"I.. I'm fine.." I stuttered out. "I'm just.. a bit overwhelmed."

"I understand." Said the voice of my father. "Do you wish for me to call back?"

"No!" A desperate plea. "S-sorry. It's just.." I shook my head. "I'm fine now."

It was quiet for a long time. Suddenly, "Who are you staying with now?"

"M-my uncle." I swallowed the dryness in my throat. "And aunt."

"In Iwatobi?" He sounded surprised.

"Yeah.." I murmured.

"Then you're in Japan."

I nodded, though stopped when I realized he couldn't see me. "Yes."

It was quiet again. "..I wonder if it's too much to ask, if you come visit me here in Tokyo?" I froze, the trembling in my hands intensifying erratically. It took both hands so that I would not drop my phone. Before I could say anything, Fuzen continued. "I could pay for the trip by train. I would like you to meet my family. I.. would really like to speak with you in person as well, Mamoru."

I stared down at my lap, then I grinned, so brightly, so happily - it hurt my face. "...I-I would love to." Wetness started rolling down my cheeks, dangling off my chin until blotching on the lap of my pants. I was crying. "Yes, yes. I want to."

"That's good to hear. I look forward to it." And like that, we started planning the day and time we were to meet.

.

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* * *

**A/n: Dun dun DUUNN. Okay, I was going to update yesterday, but I got so distracted with rp on tumblr* :o Please review!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Testing The Waters**

.

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**Chapter 21**

* * *

.

.

.

I sort of felt bad, when I just left like that. I hadn't even informed my Uncle, or Aunt, and I didn't even think twice about not telling Makoto. Perhaps it was fear, or perhaps it was defiance, whatever it was, I didn't tell them I left. I just.. _left_. What I did leave, was a plain, vague note on the fridge as to not let them worry too much. All it really said was 'I'll be back in a few days, don't worry.' Small pinches of guilt stirred in my abdomen. I knew if I were to be on the other end of that sort of dismissive treatment, I'd be pissed. That was irresponsible on my part, although the drive to see my father was overruling, and I didn't want to risk any hindrances. What if they tried to stop me? The way Makoto reacted was unexpected, though I hadn't put too much thought into it.

Now that I think of it, why had he not wanted me to see my own father? Was he hiding something? If so, what?

I frowned. If he was hiding something, then wasn't it my own right for me to find out? And what could be so bad that he wouldn't want me to know? If he knew, then his parents must know too, and they'd only try to stop me as well. He hadn't even elaborated on _why_ - and that's what had bothered me. The curiosity was unprowling. I didn't like sitting in the dark, oblivious to what's around me. Ignorance was bliss, but it wasn't bliss to myself. Especially when it included me in general.

I shook my head, staring out the shifting scenery from inside the train when my phone buzzed.

'_Mamoru, where are u? -Makoto_'

I stared, contemplating whether or not I should reply, although I wasn't given the option when my phone started ringing. I swallowed the lump in my throat and answered it. "...Hello?"

"Mamoru, where are you right now? I saw the note-"

I sighed. "It's fine, Makoto." I said. "I.." I hesitated. "I'll be back in a few days, don't worry."

"Mamoru, it's _not fine_. You can't just leave like that." His voice was low, his tone serious.

My heart thumped hard in my chest, and I had to place a hand over it in an attempt to calm down. Fortunately, my voice held no remorse. "I left a note." I cringed at how impassive I sounded.

"Mamoru.." His voice held his disbelief, as if he couldn't fathom how serious I was really being.

"I didn't want anyone to stop me." I breathed out in a rush. "I'll be back in a few days. Sorry, Makoto." I hung up, going into my settings and turning my phone on silent. Better to rip off the band-aid now. I'd deal with my consequences when I got back. I was doing this for everyone. I won't bother Makoto anymore. I won't burden his _family_ anymore. It'll be fine now.

Yes, I smiled. Things will go back to normal.

_._

The train came to a slow, screeching stop, and I grinned in excitement. I had brought just my bag, which was filled to the brim with clothes, and slung it over my shoulder. With a sigh, I waited until everyone at one at a time left the bus, giving my thanks to the conductor at the door. He smiled at me and I mirrored the gesture politely. In the train station, I looked around. I had no idea what he looked like and-

Something caught my eye. It was a sign with my name scribbled messily on it. A kid, short and chubby faced was holding it high in the air.

Hesitantly, I neared the boy. "Uh.. I'm Mamoru Tachibana.." I introduced myself, stupidly pointing a finger at my face. The boy, looking at the age of 5, blinked at me. Another boy, who looked maybe 8, sent me a suspicious stare.

"Nuh-_uh_!" He argued. "Mamoru is a **_boy's_ **name. We're looking for a boy. Go away."

I twitched. "Well, my name is _Mamoru Tachibana_ whether you like it or not. You're holding a sign that has my name on it, technically speaking, it's logical that I come here. What other explanation is there of my appearance."

The two boys looked at each other, mirroring brown eyes and hair that was naturally tousled bobbing a bit with the motion. The older boy suddenly sneered at me. "Stop using big words! I'm only eight, lady!" He huffed. "Mamoru is a boy's name. You're not a boy."

I ignored him, fed up with his irritable stubbornness. I looked at the quiet, solemn boy instead, smiling pleasantly. "Hi there. Do you know where your parents are?"

"Daddy went to the bathroom. He wanted us to wait for you." At least this one was rational. I stuck my tongue out at the other boy.

"He's cuter _and _smarter." I teased.

"Hiroshi! Do not befriend the enemy!" The older boy snapped.

I sweat-dropped. "Look brat, you're only proving my point."

"Shut up, Ugly!"

Alright, that's enough playing nice. "What'd you say, little shit?!"

"I said you're _ugly_, Stupid!" He shouted at me. I looked around, some people were glancing at us, and I faked a smile until I turned to the unpleasant brat.

"Look dwarf-face," I grumbled quietly, as to not attract any more attention. "Just what the hell is your problem, huh?!"

"You're supposed to be a boy." He looked away pointedly.

_Impolite, stupid little-_

"I hope they're are not causing too much trouble..?" Said a masculine, tentative voice. I jolted, and that's when I spun around, greeting the new visitor.

"Are you.." I gulped. "Fuzen..?"

.

.

_"**You**." Hissed a dangerously low voice. "It's _your_ fault we're in this mess."_

_"Stop it! Are you _crazy_?!__" Shouted another, this one familiar and feminine. _

_"Get out of my fucking way."_

_"No!"_

.

.

I blinked, rubbing my temple in slow, therapeutic motions. The pain and _memory?_ faded away. That _voice_, it was all so familiar.

.

_Mom..?_

.

Before I could properly straighten my thoughts, he cleared his throat.

"Yes, and I presume you are Mamoru, right?" He was tall, with tanned skin. His hair was dark, bordering black, which matched my own. A curved nose, like my own, and pleasant brown eyes. They held a distant gleam to them, and he smiled at me politely. He shoulders were broad, and he wore casual, expensive clothing. "It's been a long time, Mamoru." He chuckled.

All thoughts had been buried, and I suddenly felt very _weary_. Like something wasn't right. Something amiss. But what? I looked down at my hands, seeing a band-aid on my middle finger. That one had been particularly bad when I picked it, yet I didn't bother peeling it from my skin. I suddenly remembered how Makoto had wrapped them around my fingers, his gaze steady though worried. I shook my head.

I came here for a reason.

I suddenly felt self-conscious. All I had worn was my familiar grey sweater and fitting jeans. His body language did not suggest he wanted a hug, and I myself am not the hugging type. I settled with holding out my hand, as a greeting and as an introduction. His hand met mine, and he gave me a firm shake. His hand was warm, his grip strong. He smiled at me again, and I sighed in relief.

"These are my sons," He gestured. "Hiroshi and Hibiki Fujiwara. The youngest Hiroshi, and eldest Hibiki. Hibiki has a problem refining his manners, so please excuse anything he might've said that offended you." Fuzen sent a pointed look at his son, and Hibiki looked away.

"Hiroshi, Hibiki." He barked. Both boys looked up, attention solely fixated on their father. "This is Mamoru Tachibana. She's.." He hesitated. "She's your older sister."

Can you imagine the look on Hibiki's face?! I snorted, a smug look on my face.

"What's the matter,_ otouto-chan_?" Hibiki shuddered. Well, it's not like it's any better on _my_ part. I have a snort-nose brat as a brother now. I glanced at Hiroshi. At least the smaller one was quiet. He didn't comment right away, although there was a confused expression plastered on his face.

"We don't know her though." Said Hiroshi.

"I'll explain that later." Fuzen smiled. "When you're older." Hiroshi nodded, still eyeing me carefully.

Fuzen turned to me. "I'm sure you're exhausted from your trip." I blinked. "My wife is at home. We can talk then, hm?"

I nodded, my mind still fizzling with all the new surroundings. All the new people."O-okay." I smiled.

.

I gaped. No._ I'm jaw fell to the floor_. In front of us was a luxurious, sleek black Camaro. Fuzen held the door open for all three of us before rounding the car to reach the front door. He climbed in, and with his keys in the ignition, started up the engine. The car gave a low, powerful purr, and I shivered a bit.

I think I just fell in love.

"Heh." Hibiki snorted. "It's awesome, right? Dad says I can have it when I'm of age." The little shit bragged. "Don't you have one?"

Uh. **_No_**. I don't even own a _bike_.

I didn't say anything. Hibiki peered at my face. "You don't?!" He gasped. "Are you poor?"

"No." I snapped. "I'm living comfortably, thank you."

He ignored me."Oh, this is just great." Hibiki slouched in his seat huffily, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "My older sister is a bum."

"I'm not a bum!" I growled.

"It's alright," This time it was Hiroshi. He sent me a small smile. "I'm sure daddy will give you money if you ask."

Both children held their heads in pain when I smacked them. I saw the barest hint of a smirk on Fuzen's face and smiled a bit.

.

When we got to his place, I wasn't surprised to see a condo, considering I was in Harajuku, Tokyo - and he _did_ have the luxury of buying an expensive car. I couldn't help but glance at Fuzen when we entered the building. He, along with Hibiki did not bother saying thank you to the doorman. Hiroshi smiled and waved, and I nodded to him. "Thank you." I smiled. The doorman mirrored the gesture, waving to little Hiroshi and I.

"No problem, Mrs." He was considerably middle aged, his crows-feet crinkling.

Inside was modern and sumptuous, the ceiling as high as the maintenance. I was impressed. I could only imagine how proud one must be to live in such a home. Mom and I had lived in a two bedroom apartment. We had to pay rent, and the hydro. Even at Makoto's, I found his place pleasantly generous, but _this_- ..this was what I could only assume was high-middleclass. Maybe even high class.

"Mamoru, the elevator is here." Fuzen smiled, seemingly amused of my ogling.

"Uh? F-Fuzen-san, what exactly is your occupation?" I stuttered out, following him and his kids into the elevator. 360 mirrors surrounded the inside of the elevator. I mildly fixed my hair, tucking a few rebellious strands behind my ear when I saw myself.

"Ah, well I'm the CEO of Banzai cooperation." He said casually.

"Huh.." I blinked.

_Wait_**_._**

I choked on my spit. Hibiki grimaced in disgust and Hiroshi blinked. "B-Banzai?!" I spluttered. "That toy company?!" I recited. Just two years ago did they really blow up in America. I even remembered Ren's teddy bear having the small imprint of Banzai on it's foot.

Fuzen smiled, a proud gleam in his eyes. "Yes, that toy company." I stared at nothing, blinking a few times in shock. I glanced in amazement at my father. Unhelpfully, Hibiki cut in.

"You know, some of the toys are _my_ ideas." No wonder that kid had an ego the size of a small island. "Dad asks us for our opinions and tells the company owner guy!" He boasted. Well, it made sense. A stupid kid would know what another stupid kid would want. I rolled my eyes.

"Mind your manners, Hibiki." Fuzen said sternly. I watched as Hibiki backed down with another huff.

"Well, it's _true_."

I looked at Hiroshi, who was quiet the entire time. I deadpanned when I saw the finger up his nose, picking at a booger. I stared as something green and clumpy appeared between his nail when he pulled it out. He looked like he was about to put it in his mouth when he saw me stare at him. Slowly, while maintaining eye contact, he smeared it on the elevator wall. I grimaced. Okay, I _did not_ want to see that.

We quietly blinked at each other. I think their might've been a silent agreement to _never_ speak of that again.

When the doors pushed aside, I realized that we were on the top floor. I followed Fuzen to the end of the hall, where another door awaited. He inserted his key, twisting the lock and pushing the door open. The two children immediately got comfortable, kicking their shoes off and scurrying to their own sanctuaries. I blinked. Well that was fast. Usually Ren and Ran were so quick to ask to play games, yet these two were quick to leave.

"The guest room's down the hall." Said Fuzen. I jolted, then nodded.

Following his directions, I went down the hall, opening the door I assumed was the guest room. I looked around. A double bed, a couple of dressers, blue carpeting and light curtains. The room was considerably comfortable, yet bare. It didn't bother me considering my room was equally as bare. I hadn't decorated it, mostly because that cost effort and money that I'd rather not spend. I tossed my bag, which landed on the bed with a muffled thump. I left the room, returning back to where I presumed my father would be.

"Oh! You must be Mamoru-chan, correct?" A pretty woman stepped in front of me. I blinked.

"Y-yeah.." I was startled by the sudden appearance. I could only guess she was Fuzen's wife. "..Hello." I said hesitantly.

She smiled at me. "I'm Mika Fujiwara, Fuzen's wife." She had green eyes, perhaps a shade lighter than my own, and she..

She looked a bit like mom. Their bone structure was alike, with the exception that this woman was paler. My mother had a natural tan to her skintone. Mika's hair was a light brunette, chopped just below her chin. My mother had long hair, usually kept in a ponytail, and it was dark, sometime bordering green in the light. I continued to stare, slightly uncomfortable with the linked similarities to my own mother. Even her smile reminded me of mom.

I noticed the apron tied around her waist and blinked. She noticed my gaze and blushed a little. "Sorry I look like this," She sheepishly smiled. "I was just about to get started on dinner."

"It's fine," I smiled. "You're in your own home, right?"

"Right," She echoed pleasantly. "Fuzen is on the patio right now. Is there anything specific you wanted to eat?"

"Anything's fine with me, ma'am." I said formally. She stared at me, then smiled again, and I had to wonder what that look was all about.

"I'll take you to Fuzen," She changed the subject.

I shouldn't have been that surprised, considering all things, but yet I was. I mean, they had a_ freaking patio_ over a building. Mika sent me one last smile before motioning me to go on. I sighed, stepping onto the patio and glancing at my father, whom was sitting by a table, a cigarette alight between his lips.

He took a drag from the cancer stick and gestured with his hand for me to sit. I complied, plopping onto the comfortable chair.

"Please tell me about yourself." Fuzen smiled, a gust of smoke expelling from his breath. I stared, then hesitantly started.

"Well, I'm 16." I chuckled.

"..Really?" Fuzen blinked. "It's been that long?"

I nodded, looking away. "What about you?"

"37." He chuckled. His eyes momentarily flickered to my forehead, and I knew he was staring at my scar. Consciously, I looked away, so he would not stare so blatantly at the marking. I heard him cough, a bit awkwardly. "So, I was wondering why you're back in Japan?"

"Oh.. well, after mom died, I was sent to live with my Aunt and Uncle." I glanced at him. He was watching me closely. "I've been living there for awhile and.. the reason I came to see you was because.." I couldn't say it out loud. I blinked again, feeling sheepish humiliation stir in my abdomen. "When mom died.." I repeated. "I.. was in the car with her." For some reason, it was incredibly hard to look him in the eye. "I ended up.. having brain damage. I don't remember anything past the age six and-" I cut myself off, my fingers starting to pick each other, but I did nothing to stop it. "My doctor said it might help if I were to see you again."

"I.. see." Was all he said. I glanced at him. He seemed lost in his own thoughts. "So that explains that scar." He commented. I nodded quietly, waiting for him to respond, but he didn't. We sat in silence. Then, he spoke. "I'm glad you've survived." He eventually said.

It was quiet again, and I felt oddly disappointed. Had I been expecting something? A pat on the shoulder? A comforting word? I sighed, realizing with disdain that I _had_ been expecting something. Although that was irrational. He may be my father, but he wasn't my _Dad_. A magical, wondrous relationship couldn't form just by meeting each other. There was a substantial gape between us - a hole that couldn't be filled. For a majority of my life I had carried on without a father, and now that my mother has died, I was looking for relief of my troubles from him. That wasn't right. He had his own family to take care of-

I stopped.

Wasn't I his family too?

I blinked. _Yes_, wasn't **_I_ **apart of his family too? Yet he lived life in such luxury with the perfect family, and the _perfect life_.

Had he even thought of me? _At all? _

Most likely not.

Hot, searing jealousy started to formulate, causing my heart to ache. Why was he suddenly a _perfect father_ to his children? What about **_me_**? Where was he for all the birthdays that he missed? Why wasn't **_I_** promised a Camaro for when I got _my_ license? Why was I left out into the dust? I wanted to know. I _needed_ to know.

I glanced at Fuzen. "Why'd you leave mom?" I blurted, albeit a bit impulsively.

Fuzen's eyebrows flew up in surprise, then they furrowed. "She left me." He said.

"Why?" I continued. "Mom had took me and moved all the way to America. _Why?_"

"Mamoru.." He drawled out cautiously. "Your mother and I.." He put out his cigarette. "We had some problems, we divorced."

"Then why did she move, with me?" I pried.

"..She had always wanted to move there."

"Mom didn't like it there." I quipped. "She always complained that it was too far from family. She said that when she lived in Iwatobi, we had our own _house_. She didn't like living in an apartment."

"Dinner's ready!" Called Mika. Fuzen stared at me, and I awaited an answer. He suddenly smiled, and that feeling of weariness intensified.

"Let's go in now, Mamoru."

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	23. Chapter 23

**A/n: AND IT'S THE CHAPTER YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! :) Please review! Leave your thoughts and comments!**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 22**

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Dinner was different. Different from what I had personally experienced in the past if I were to compare. In Makoto's home, everyone sat at the table and discussed pleasantly about their day, I would always stay silent and input my own remarks occasionally. In my home, my mother and I sat on the couch, watching tv and kicking back because we were comfortable. However, this home was oddly quiet. Maybe it was my presence that had disturbed the peace? Although, not even the children would stir up a conversation. I was half-heartily awaiting Hibiki to boast and brag about something nonessential, although he kept his mouth shut. When I heard the clink of silverware against a plate, I looked up.

Mika was smiling at me. "So, Mamoru-chan," She started in a friendly manner. I suppressed the urge to twitch at the overtly familiar way she addressed me, but did not voice my discomfort. "I was thinking we could both go to the mall tomorrow. Would you like that?" She talked to me as if I was a child, which caused me to bristle. She continued. "You haven't been to Harajuku before, right?"

"I think that's a good idea." Fuzen put in, smiling at his wife. "I have to work tomorrow, so I'm sure you'll need something to do in the meantime. You can even take Hibiki and Hiroshi."

"That's great!" She beamed. "What do you say, Mamoru-chan?"

I blinked at her hopeful face. Did she actually want to get to know me? Flattered, and slightly embarrassed, I smiled. "I don't see why not."

Maybe I could give them a chance.

.

When I entered the guest room, I plopped onto my bed, exhaling a deep, long sigh. The Fujiwaras were friendly, and warm.

They really _were_ the perfect family.

That ugly pinch of jealousy reappeared, but I quickly buried it. I had to get along with them. I _wanted_ to get along with them. Maybe I could convince Fuzen to let me stay? It wasn't like they didn't have enough money to support another human being. They had _everything_. They were perfect. I had always wanted to live _that life_, and maybe consider it selfish, but I felt entitled to something. I mean, Fuzen was my father. No matter what, there is always going to be a link there. The only way I'll forgive him for leaving mom and I, is if he _accepted_ me. As much as I hate to blame someone, it was his fault, wasn't it?

I decided maybe sleep was the best option for now, crawling over for my bag and unzipping it. I pulled out comfortable clothing I could use as sleeping wear, and something fell out during the process. My phone.

I blinked, and then winced, remembering how I had hung up so rudely on my cousin. Hesitantly, I reached for my phone, flipping it open to see one new voice-mail message greeting me. Afraid, but curious, I click a button, pressing the receiver to my ear and awaiting the montage of what I could only assume was Makoto's dissatisfaction.

"Mamoru, it's me." A sigh. "I know you don't want to speak right now, so I'll just leave you this message." A pause. "I know what you're doing." I tensed. "You went to see your father, right?" A beat of silence. "I won't drag you back, if that's what you're wondering. Just be careful, and don't do anything reckless. I'll see you when you get back." The voice-mail ended.

...

"That's.. _it_?" I murmured. No yelling? No telling me to come home? I blinked a few times. Why was I so disappointed? Tears welt up in my waterline, but they did not fall. My vision blurred in and out of focus as I sat there, dumbfounded. _Why was I so disappointed?_ I already knew this, didn't I? I already knew that I had been burdening him, but some small ounce of me had anticipated anger. I wanted him to be angry I defied him, and I wanted him to drag me back, telling me that I was being an idiot - but he _didn't_. Makoto was too kind for that. He wouldn't do something like that. If he was feeling uncomfortable, he wouldn't voice it. That was just the type of person he was; the shoulder people leaned on. The shoulder _I_ leaned on, and with that strange voice-mail, it felt like it had disappeared before my eyes.

**_Why was I so disappointed?_**

.

The next morning Mika cooked breakfast. Her cooking was good, much better than mine will ever be admittedly. She was chipper when the sun glared from outside, what seemed like a blinding beam of light alighting the rooms. She was apparently a morning person. Personally I was not, and it didn't help much that I had barely gotten a healthy amount of sleep the night prior. I didn't voice my discomfort although. A complaining guest was not tasteful, and also impolite.

Hibiki and Hiroshi were eating quietly beside each other, Mika sitting with a smile and telling Hiroshi not to play with his food. Fuzen strode in, in a crisp, proper suite, adjusting his grey tie. Mika smiled and neared him, straightening the tie that was a bit crooked. Fuzen placed a chaste kiss to her cheek. I finally made my presence known, and the family's attention was solely focused on myself. I felt awkward, novice to this type of atmosphere. I only saw families like these in sitcoms, and had no idea what to do.

"Mamoru," Fuzen nodded at me with a small smile.

I nodded back, and the air seemed to dim a bit. Was my being here that much of a disturbance? Hiroshi was staring at me, still with those cautious, careful eyes that were too mature to be on a 5 year old. Hibiki stabbed into his food, more blatant of his dislike of me. Mika was smiling politely, and Fuzen was already to the door, ready to get to work.

"How did you sleep?" Asked Mika.

"Fine," I smiled instinctively, my polite and distant facade up.

"Well that's good." She set a plate of food in front of me when I sat down. I said thank you and she sat at the other end of the table, resuming her morning.

"You talk in your sleep." Hiroshi said suddenly.

"Hiroshi." Mika scolded.

I smiled. "It's fine." I waved off. "My.." I hesitated. "My friends tell me that too."

"I couldn't understand you though." He began eating again, looking down at his food.

I sweat-dropped. "How would you know that I sleep-talk? Was I being too loud?"

"No." Hiroshi looked up back at me. "I snuck into your room." He blinked.

I rose an eyebrow and Mika spoke up. "Hiroshi, apologize."

"Why?" The little boy asked, innocently curious. "I was just making sure she was related to me."

"By sneaking into my room and watching me sleep?" I said bluntly.

"_Hiroshi_!" Mika gasped. "Please forgive him, Mamoru-chan."

"It's fine." I said again. "I'm just curious of his reasoning."

"Well, I thought I'd find something in case you were lying."

"Did you look through my stuff?"

"No." He said. "Mommy says it's rude to look through other people's stuff." He mumbled.

"I.. I see." I blinked. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Not really." He said. "You're in the clear."

"That's a relief."

"You're in the clear until we can find some dirt on you!" Hibiki spoke up. "Don't think I'll accept you as my sister just yet!"

I rolled my eyes, feeling a bit more comfortable speaking with children than with adults. "That's too bad. I was going to tell you a secret."

Hibiki perked. "A secret?"

"Yup." I sighed dramatically. "But since you don't believe I'm your sister, I guess I'll keep it to myself."

"I bet your secret is stupid anyways." Hibiki grumbled.

"Probably, probably not. But it's a secret, so you wouldn't know." I shrugged.

I started eating my food, and Hibiki kept glancing at me every five seconds.

"I believe you." Hiroshi peered at me. "So you can tell me the secret, right?"

"Right." I motioned him closer and cupped a hand by my mouth. "I'm friend's with a dolphin-boy."

Hiroshi gasped, and I placed a finger to my lips. "Really?!"

"Yup, but I'll tell you more about it later. When _someone's_ not around." I nodded my head over at Hibiki. The 8 year old furrowed his eyebrows.

"Hiroshi, if you're really my brother, tell me now!"

Said boy glanced at Hibiki, then at me. I whistled innocently. Hiroshi looked back at his brother. "If I do that, 'nee-chan's not going to tell me more."

_Smart kid._

Hibiki huffed in anger, glaring at me darkly, causing me to smirk with triumph.

.

We walked to the mall that afternoon, since it was close by, and this way I'll get a proper sight of Harajuku. I was marveling at the city life, while Hiroshi and Hibiki seemed bored by it. Considering they had grown up in the city, they weren't phased by the bustling pedestrians and street-performers. I was grinning, amazed at how much clips could be attached to one strand of hair, while some girls wore lolita clothing that I've only seen vaguely in anime. This was all so surprising.

"It's so cool here." I commented. Mika blinked, although smiled at my ogling.

"I suppose it is." She giggled.

We arrived at the mall, and it seemed Hibiki and Hiroshi finally put some interest. "Mommy, can we get ice-cream?" Hiroshi asked.

"Sure." She smiled.

"Me too, me too!" Hibiki grinned.

"Yes, yes," She sighed. "Do you want anything too, Mamoru-chan?"

I grinned broadly. "Sure, I could go for some." It almost felt as if Mika was opening up to me, and I was surprised by how much of a liking I took to the other female. Her warmth was something that I gravitated towards. Maybe it was because she looked like mom? I didn't know, but I didn't care.

Hibiki glanced at me when Hiroshi tugged at my hand. I looked down, blinking at the small child.

"Onee-chan." A flash of remembrance of Ren and Ran. Why was I thinking of them now? Hiroshi continued. "Can you tell me about that secret now?"

Hibiki was looking at us, and I could sense the intense curiosity rolling off of him in waves. I gave him a teasing look, and he caught it, looking away with a stubborn huff.

"Sure, Hiroshi." I smiled. "I'll tell you when we get our ice-cream, 'kay?"

"Okay." He mumbled.

"..Mamoru.." Hibiki called out in an hesitant grumble.

"Hm?" I looked back at my sibling. I blinked. It was strange to think of these two kids as my siblings. Having never met them before, it was weird. I suppose that was how they felt about me, although Hiroshi was cautious, he was much more willing to carry on a conversation rather than Hibiki, who stuck to sullenly glaring at me - as if my existence was unfathomable.

"Tell me your secret." His cheeks were red, obviously embarrassed to have even asked.

I blinked at him. "You said you didn't want to know."

"I.." He looked away, and I snickered. He almost reminded me of a mini Rin. "...Just tell me already!"

"Why would I do that?" I asked in a simple tone.

"Because I'm your brother, aren't I?"

"You said you didn't accept me as your sister." I reminded.

"It doesn't matter anymore!" He glared.

"I'm not telling you." I looked away.

"Why not!"

"Because since I've got here, you've been noting but a brat to me. It's unsightly, and you may be used to getting everything you ever wished of, but with that attitude don't expect my respect anytime soon, little boy." I said in a blank voice, my eyes speaking volumes of how exactly I felt. Hibiki froze, staring at me in alarm. He suddenly looked down at his feet, suddenly quiet.

I didn't put too much thought into it when Hiroshi glanced at his brother, assessing his reaction. If Mika had heard anything of what I had said, she didn't voice it.

.

Even the_ ice-cream_ was great. The _ice-cream._

I fell in love again.

I bit into my cone, savoring the sweet taste. When I felt a tap on my elbow, I blinked. It was Hibiki.

"Mom's taking Hiroshi to the bathroom." He said in a grumble, a blue Popsicle in one hand. I nodded. I wasn't really holding a grudge over the kid, I had mainly just spoke my mind. I did have a tenacity to be a bit blunt with children - mostly because I didn't like being put through their little fits of anger, much like with Hibiki. They'd soon catch on that I wasn't going to be one of those pushovers that let them do anything they wanted. Ren and Ran never did anything to set my mood off - they were really sweet and only wanted attention.

I paused. Why was I thinking of them again?

Both Hibiki and I stood in silence.

I was halfway done with my ice-cream cone when Hibiki spoke up. "...'_msorry_."

"Huh?" I blinked in confusion.

"...I said.. '_msorry_."

"Speak up, I can't hear you." My eyebrows furrowed.

"I said I'm sorry!" He shouted angrily.

I stared. "You're sorry?"

He nodded. I blinked. "Why?"

He looked at me in surprise. "Because I-!" He got quiet. "Because I was being mean.."

I stared at him some more. Then I smiled. "Okay, I forgive you."

He sighed in relief. With a hopeful grin, he stared up at me. "So you'll tell me your secret?"

"No."

He deflated. "Why not! You told _Hiroshi_!" Tears started to welt up in his eyes. "You're being unfair!"

"Calm down, shorty." I snorted. "I'll tell you when Hiroshi gets back, so I don't have to repeat myself." I shrugged.

"..Oh." His childish anger died down. I rolled my eyes, but was almost amused of his mood swings.

As if saying his name was a jinx, Mika and Hiroshi reappeared, with their own ice-cream in hand. I smiled at each of them, and we decided to sit at a table for awhile - so the kids wouldn't accidentally get their sticky fingers on anywhere important.

"Alright, as you know, I told Hiroshi that I'm friends with a dolphin-boy." I started in a flat tone. Mika rose an eyebrow and chuckled, though did not comment thankfully.

"What!" Hibiki gaped. "You're lying. They don't exist!"

"That's what _you_ think." I quipped. "I happen to know a dolphin-boy. He doesn't speak much though." I smiled. I admit I was basing off this load of bull from Haru, but I wouldn't admit this aloud. That would just kill my fun. "And he's obsessed with water. He'd even marry it if he could."

"W-what..? That's impossible!" I could already tell Hibiki was entranced by my simple story, urging me to tell more with the gleam of his brown eyes. I smirked. Hiroshi leaned in more, eyes wide with amazement.

"Tell us more, Onee-chan."

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It's been two days since I've came to Harajuku. Hibiki seemed to lighten up, and Hiroshi was more chatty - that caution in his expression slowly withering away. Mika also seemed delighted when we were together, but my instincts told me she was just being polite. My father kept a reasonable distance between us, as if he was avoiding something. I didn't dwell on it, and he didn't elaborate. I mean, it wasn't as if we weren't speaking, so it was okay, right?

I didn't get anymore messages from Makoto, although I did get one text from Haru. I had deliberately chosen to ignore it, mostly because I had no idea how to answer it.

_'where are you'_

I couldn't just tell him that I was with my father, and I couldn't think of a place that would seem believable - so I didn't bother answering. Besides, what good would it do? I was just starting to get comfortable with the Fujiwaras, and they didn't make me feel like I was burdening anyone. And last time I checked - Haru had been ignoring me. It was better this way, right?

It was on the third day did I received a grim reminder.

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I was just starting to rouse from my slumber, awoken by a yelp. I blinked away the sleep and rubbed my eyes from the blurriness. It was about 10 am in the afternoon and the kids were at school. Obviously I had slept in. I threw my legs over the bed, but halted when I heard another yell.

"_Fuzen_, take your pills!"

"I'm fine dammit! I've been fine for the last two years, haven't I?"

Hesitantly, I walked over to my door, pressing my ear against it.

"Yes, you _were_ fine, but we don't want to take any risks!"

"What're you saying?!"

"I'm saying, with _her_ here, your stress levels have _increased_! Look at yourself, you're getting so angry from me just asking you to take your pills! I've already told you this was a bad idea, but _you didn't listen to me_."

"_Shut_ _up!_ **_Shut up!_** You have _no_ idea what you're talking about!"

"Fuzen, take your pills. I've already gone to your doctor, and they've prescribed you a new bottle. It's just precautionary."

I finally crept out of my room, taking careful steps to where I heard the confusing argument. I looked over the corner and into the living room, where the married couple were shouting at each other.

Fuzen growled. "Do you not **_hear_** me?!" He spat. "I told you _I'm fine_, and you're acting like a _stupid **bitch**_!"

"Hey." I cut in. "She's just looking out for you."

Mika was momentarily stunned by my appearance, although Fuzen was panting hard, his face red with a bulging vein on his forehead.

"Mamoru-chan!" Mika recovered from her shock. "_Please_ go to your room." I barely registered what she said, because now Fuzen had lifted a lamp and thrown it at his wife. She ducked, looking warily at her husband. But there was no fear, there was no anger in her eyes, only admonition. I couldn't fathom it.

"Hey! Are you crazy!" I shouted at my father, now equally as angry. I had took a liking to Mika. She was kind and warm, and shouldn't have to put up with something like this. Just thinking about it made me overwhelmed. Was this why Mom moved? **_What was going on?_** I pointed a glare at Fuzen, continuing on with my rant. "What are you trying to _do_?! _What the hell_! Is this why mom left you?! Because you have anger management?!"

Fuzen whirled around to me, his hand following.

**_SLAP!_**

I was thrown to the side with the impact, falling to the floor with a thump.

I sat in shock as instinctive tears filled my waterline.

What.. _just happened?_

**_What just happened?_**

"Mamoru!" I looked up. Mika had wrapped arms around her husband, who was panting and breathing heavily, his face just as surprised as my own. Mika glared at me, that gentle politeness gone and shattered, in place a woman protecting..- _Who was she protecting?_ Fuzen? Me? The confusion worsened, the betrayal worsened. _Everything_ _worsened_. Her glare darkened into contempt and I stared in shock.

"Pack up your things and _get the hell_ out of here."

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	24. Chapter 24

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 23**

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The scenery outside of the train seemed to blur. Something so aching, so numbing forming in my chest, and I could not rid the horrible feeling. Not disappointment, not anger, just _raw sadness_ that I couldn't shake off. It was an icky, familiar feeling, but no more tears would shed. They had dried out. I had dried out. Emotions so real that I've been feeling sucked out of me before I could properly indulge in it. Not even four days, and they had kicked me out.

I was a bother.

I was..

I didn't know what I was. Everything just seems to get worse and _worse_, and I didn't know how to make it better.

_ How do I make it better? _

_**How do I make it better?**_

.

_You can't_

.

Then what should I do?

I should just—

_I should just—_

.

_**Die**_

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_Die?_

Would that make things better?

Would that make _me_ better?

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_It would make **everyone else** feel better_

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Truly? Surely?

I should've died in the car crash.

I couldn't remember anything. My Uncle and Aunt have been forced to take care of another human being. My father didn't want me to visit him, and was just too polite to turn me down—

No.

That was _Mika_. She was just too polite to say it. The way she looked at me spoke volumes.

Was I really that annoying? And here I thought she had liked me too. If she was such a good actor, perhaps Makoto felt the same way?

I was really, _truly—_

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**_Useless  
_**

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* * *

"M-Mamoru!" Her Uncle exclaimed in surprise. "You're back!" If he noticed the sullen look in her eyes, he didn't say anything. Instead, his attention was solely focused on the darkened, fresh bruise adorning her cheekbone. He set his newspaper down and rushed over to her, his brown eyes widened in shock. "Where have you been? And what on earth happened here?" She glanced at him momentarily, as if taking in his presence for the first time. Despite her solemn mood, a small spark of her wanted answers. She wanted know why her father had reacted that way. The couple had been arguing of pills—and she couldn't fathom why.

"Uncle," She started in a formal tone. "Please tell me everything of my father." She said.

The older man blinked in surprise. "Is that where you have been..?" Realization dawned on his worn features. He sighed, deeply at that. He stared at the serious look on his niece's face, his eyes softening in sympathy. "Let's go for a walk, hm?" A smile that reminded her of Makoto appeared at his face. She nodded silently, dropping her belongings where she was.

Her Uncle toed on his shoes, shrugging on a light coat. Mamoru slipped her shoes over her ankles, still very quiet.

Outside, the cool afternoon air bristled their hair in tufts. Walking a step behind her Uncle, she watched him carefully as they took the path that lead by the shore. He smiled faintly upon seeing the familiar sight of the ocean. "Do you like the ocean, Mamoru?"

"Please just tell me what happened with my father, Uncle." She said bluntly.

"Always been a bit straightforward, huh Mamoru?" He chuckled warmly. He glanced back at his niece. "It's one of your redeeming qualities." He smiled.

Mamoru sighed lightly, although chose not to comment. Her uncle stared off at the sea of blue. "Makoto's always been afraid of the ocean." He added as an afterthought. "It's really such a shame. He pushes so hard, that boy." He sent another smile to his niece. She was watching him closely, before she could comment, he added. "Your mother had been a bit afraid of the ocean too." His smile dimmed into something nostalgic. "She's always been afraid the tide would pull her in, and wouldn't go in too deep unless Fuzen was beside her. To save her if anything were to go wrong." He sighed. "Fuzen's always been a bit different." He muttered to himself.

Interested, Mamoru blinked. "Different..?" She waited for him to fill in the blank.

He nodded. "Your mother and him had been together since high school." He paused. "After two years from graduating, they had you." He sighed. "They were young. _Very_ young. They had to put off college and university first, in order to take care of a child. My wife and I tried to help them as much as we could, by having you over when they would work. Makoto had taken a quick liking to you, and you to him as well." He smiled, his eyes reflecting in untold memories.

"Fuzen's always been an overachiever, and tried to take classes while working. Juggling the responsibility of a father and his career at such a young age proved to be too difficult, but he still progressed." He sighed deeply. "He ended up quitting for awhile when he developed some complications." Now are darker, regretful look over-passed his face. "He was bipolar, but we didn't figure that out until it was too late." He sighed. "Usually seeing you would trigger his other side, because he blamed you when his career started to take the turn for the worst."

Now he paused and glanced at Mamoru. She was expressionless, having stopped to stare off into the ocean. He stopped as well, pushing his rimless glasses back up the bridge of his nose and carrying on. "Your mother loved you very much. She usually tried to stop him from harming you every time he'd see you. Her compromise was to lend you to us for as long as possible. Although every mother wanted to see their child, so there were times when she would take you back, mostly because she missed you. She tried everything to fix their marriage, but in the end she chose _you_, and had moved across the world when she realized that you were the major trigger to Fuzen's more violent personality."

Mamoru froze. Her Uncle continued, oblivious to her mood change. "After receiving proper medication, he was normal—and continued his education. After reaching some higher places, he tried to contact Sachiko after a few years. He wanted to be a family again." He frowned. "Although your mother didn't want to take any chances, and had already moved on. That was 8 years ago. I haven't had any contact with him since Sachiko had left. For a very long time.. I had came to blame him." He finished with an oddly blank expression.

Mamoru had stayed silent for a moment. '_Do you blame me as well, for taking away your sister?'_—It was a rhetorical question she didn't voice aloud. Instead, she smiled towards he Uncle. "Thank you for telling me this." She said in a polite voice. "It.. makes sense." She added.

Her Uncle looked at her with a softened expression. "I'm sorry, Mamoru. I never wished for you to find out like this." He placed a hand onto her shoulder. "This time, there won't be any consequences considering where you have gone. In the future, please inform me if your going to just leave like that. We were all very worried about you." He smiled in a reassuring manner.

His words had fallen onto deaf ears. "Let's go inside now, alright?" He gave a comforting squeeze to her shoulder.

"Uncle?" Her voice was oddly flat. Nothing really registered in her mind. Nothing had really sunk in yet. Instead, she felt oddly light, and she did not know if that was possibly a good or bad sign.

—No. She wanted to _feel_ something at the moment. This numbness was terrifying.

"Yes?" He returned with a blink.

She smiled thinly. "I'm going to go to the store." She lied. "I'll.. be back later."

"O-oh, alright." He was surprised at her odd behavior, but didn't comment. He stared as she turned onto her heel, walking to another direction, concern evident in his coffee brown eyes.

* * *

When Rin had came back from swim practice, he hadn't expected a guest. It took him a moment to realize she was sitting on his bed, idly looking around in her blatant curiosity.

"What _the_ _hell_ are you doing here." He spat in annoyance. Who just _barges_ into another's room like that? Not even Nitori was there as an explanation. She had just snuck in.

"Oh, Sharkboy!" She beamed brightly. "There you are! I was wondering what was taking you so long. Say, who's your roommate? I'm curious!"

"What the hell are you doing here." He demanded again.

She pouted. "Aw, you aren't happy to see me?"

"I locked the door." He narrowed his eyes. "How'd you even get in?!"

"Oh, that?" She shrugged. "Well, I asked around where your room was, and a friendly janitor helped me out with the door situation." She waved a dismissive hand. "I was wondering if you were doing anything right now." She grinned.

He finally walked into the room and closed the door behind himself, tossing the towel hanging around his neck into the small basket of clothes at the corner of the room. He rose an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be at home, grounded or somethin'?" He placed two hands to his hips, his suspicion rousing. "Haru told me that you suddenly left and shit. Where'd you go?"

"Here and there." She grinned playfully. "I was just visiting a friend for a bit, and skipped school in the process by accident." She patted the spot beside her expectantly.

The perched brow rose higher. "Did you even go home?" He plopped onto his bed beside her, watching her from the corner of his eyes. She was.. acting weird. For some reason, something was off—which was a strange suggestion considering he didn't know her all too well.

"Yeah, yeah. But no one was there, so I got lonely and decided to come here." She smiled at him.

A pinch of concern perked upon finally noticing the bruise on her cheekbone. "What the fuck happened?" A hand reached out to touch the bruise. Expectantly, she flinched. His eyebrows furrowed. "_Tachibana_." He snapped, silently demanding to know who had the audacity to hit a woman.

"I fell." She laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck with a grin. His glare hardened, "I'm not buying that bullshit."

"Buy it or not." She shrugged. "But I fell, and one of Ren's plastic toy's hit my face." She snickered to herself. Rin narrowed his eyes. "How'd—"

She fell backwards onto the bed, bouncing lightly. "_Geez!_ So much questions." She sighed loudly. His eyebrow twitched.

"Well, what do you _expect_—breaking into my dorm so suddenly? You should go home." He bit out in annoyance. "At least have the decency to tell Makoto where you were."

"I don't have decency, so I don't wanna!" She pouted childishly. She threw her legs over his lap, a smirk on her face.

Growing more annoyed, he pushed her legs off of his thighs. "Are you an _idiot_?" He wouldn't admit that he had been a bit worried of her sudden disappearance as well. Her dismissive attitude was successfully grating on his nerves. Was she really so selfish to not even _consider_ others feelings? Even Haru had been worried, prominently affecting their last race.

"...Maybe." She agreed in a quiet voice. She was staring at the bottom of Nitori's top bunk, an impassive expression surfacing onto her face. Before he could voice his confusion, she looked down at him from her lying position.

"Hey Rin," She drawled in a serious voice. Surprised by the change in atmosphere, he rose an eyebrow.

"W-what is it?" He asked carefully.

"—Have sex with me."

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	25. Chapter 25

**A/n: This is rated M! Proceed with caution! (I tried uploading this earlier but FF was being a lil poop) I'm not too assure this chapter turned out all too great, but please review regardless!**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 24**

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"—_What_?"

Surely she knew he wasn't hard of hearing, although despite that, she deliberately repeated herself. "Have sex with me."

He tensed with shock, his shoulders rising an inch in his discomfort. Maybe he was formulating an answer, or maybe he was trying to overcome the surprise, but he took a long time to answer.

"That's not funny." He eventually growled.

"It's not a joke."

"_Tachibana_—"

"It's not." She insisted.

"Stop fuckin' around!" He whorled a glare at her, anger and annoyance bare in his expression.

She rose up into a sitting position and stared blankly. "Why do you think it's a joke?"

"Because!" He snapped. "Why the hell would you ask that!"

"Because I want to."

"What sort of logic is _that_?!" A flush of embarrassment started to creep up his neck as he shot up from his seat.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"N-no but—"

"Do you think I'm unattractive?"

"It's not that—"

"Then what's your excuse..?" She drawled, her eyes pouring intensity into his own.

_Was she being serious?_

Before he could snap at her again, she rose up from the bed and snatched the scruff of his Samezuka swim coat, "W-what're—" Soft, warm lips met his in a messy collision. The surprise attack had rendered him stiff as a board. It took him a moment to regain his senses, and when he did he clasp her shoulders, keeping her at a safe distance._ What was this all of a sudden?!_ "I'm _not_ going to have sex with you!" He glared, his cheeks already filling in a dark color.

She mirrored the glare. "Why not."

"I already told you, didn't I?!" His voice was rising in volume. "Why do you want to have sex with me so badly?! Why don't you ask Haru?!"

Her eyes widened, then—what surprised him more—unshed tears welt up in her waterline, brimming and glazing green orbs in dissatisfaction. Finally, in a wobbly, snappy voice, "It's because you understand!"

He blinked, his glare slowly melting away. She leaned her head against his chest in a manner that resembled defeat—from what, he didn't know. Unable to wrap his mind around everything happening, he let her speak in that quiet, pathetic voice he was beginning to hate. "It's because you understand." She repeated. "No matter what I do, I can't do anything right and.." Her voice broke off. "I want to feel something."

The anger was slowly evaporating as he stared at the top of her head. "_Tachibana_," He pulled her back so that he was looking straight into her eyes. How had that annoying little girl—who had managed to make him forget his sorrows for only a moment with her irritable personality—turn into something like _this_? Someone so pitiful and selfish that admittedly wanted to use him as a source of relief from whatever she was feeling? His gripped on her shoulders tightened and she flinched.

She was right, he _did_ understand, better than anyone else—and that's what had made it all the more worse.

His jaw clenched, fixating a hard glare at the younger teen. He would only be doing this as repayment for making him laugh that day—for making _himself_ feel something—and _only_ for the sake of that.

"Tachibana," He growled again. He watched as she blinked up at him. He scoffed, prying his hands off of her and crossing them across his chest. "We're only doing this _once_. After that, don't bother me with this again."

Her eyes widened with disbelief, and then she nodded. "..I understand."

He fished into his pocket, plucking out his phone. With quick fingers, he sent a text to his roommate. '_Ai. Find something to do for about 2-3 hours._'

'_Is something wrong, Rin-senpai?_' Was the quick reply.

'_No. Just keep yourself busy for a few hours._'

'_Oh, alright Rin-senpai!_'

He couldn't find the will to look Mamoru in the eye when she plopped back onto his bed. He swallowed the thick lump in his throat and locked the door—not wanting to take any chances of someone catching them in the act. When he turned back towards her, he exhaled a deep sigh. "Let's get this over with."

"You don't have to sound so upset about it." She teased with a grin. "It's not very romantic."

"Shut up." Was his obvious retort, a twitch to his eyebrow to add effect. The grin widened when he settled beside her. The annoying flush crept up his neck as he glared at nothing in particular. After a few more prolonged minutes of silence, he glanced at Mamoru, who was waiting for him to make a move. The blush thickened, and he rubbed the back of his neck. Remembering something, he stood and neared his desk, pulling out the drawer and taking out a small packet. Mamoru's eyebrows flew up in surprise, and he had only guessed that she was marveling at his supposed libido.

The blush worsened. "Captain Mikoshiba gave me these as a prank!" He snapped at her suggestive look. "It was a joke and I forgot to throw them out!"

"I'm not judging." She raised her hands up in surrender with a snicker. "What you do in your free time is not my business."

"I told you it was a prank!" He snapped.

"Yes, yes." She smiled innocently.

Auburn eyes narrowed at her smug look. He sighed, plopping beside her once more. Awkward silence trickled into the air, and he knew she was still expecting him to make the first move. He didn't know how to approach something like this with a friend. Yes, regrettably, he considered her kind of like a friend—_sort_ _of_. Yes he had had hook ups, but those were with girls he barely knew who had no relation to a close friend—so quite honestly, it didn't matter. He's also had no experience with romance as opposed to random hookups. Dating was a distraction from his goal. He wouldn't be able to give a girl the proper attention that was required within a healthy relationship—and she would more or less be a hindrance to his training. He had no time for girlfriends.

"Rin.." She had been calling him by his first name ever since she had gotten here. The name rolled off her tongue easily, the sound surprisingly sending a jerk to his nerves. It put him on edge, the way she was acting. Again, she was acting strange. Something was definitely wrong, yet he couldn't pinpoint exactly what. He was still surprised someone like her could possibly be related to Makoto. The contrasts in their personalities were striking—although they did have something in common. They hid things, like there true feelings, and their true intent. It was eerie how Rin could not read either of them, or predict their real thoughts—and he thinks to himself that that may have been the only similarities they shared. Even when Mamoru had suddenly upped and left, Makoto had still acted the same and if he had not heard it from Haru, he would've guessed nothing was amiss. "—Rin." The sound of his name cut him off, and he blinked back into reality. He glanced at the younger Tachibana, and frowned. He wasn't so sure he could really go through with this. "_Rin_."

"What is it?!" He finally snapped, on edge by the intense atmosphere.

"What are you waiting for?" She tilted her head.

"I can't do this." He muttered. To do this would be hurting Makoto.

"You said you would..." She said. "You said you would." She repeated, a little more stronger.

"I can't do this to Makoto." He looked away.

"What does Makoto have to do with any of this?"

"He's your cousin!"

"My cousin," She echoed. "He's my cousin." She looked up at him. "Not my keeper. It wouldn't matter what I did, because we're only doing this once, right?" She smiled thinly.

He glared at her. "You're really persistent."

"It's one of my finer qualities." She returned.

It was silent again. "Why do you want to do this?" He couldn't help but ask again.

"Because you understand." She repeated. "And because I want too."

His eyes narrowed, one, two, three minutes passed and he exhaled a sigh. "Only once." He said again.

She nodded, pressing her lips to his.

This kiss was hesitant, almost portraying in neon lights of how insecure she was feeling. The feeling of her lips against his wasn't unwelcoming, or unprecedented like the one prior, although it was still novice to them both. They were still staring at each other through the kiss, the awkward sexual tension starting to prominently wave it's flag. He pulled away a few inches. "Tch. You kiss like a grandma." Before she could comment, he drew her face in, regrettably missing the awkward contact. He molded his mouth against hers, apply the barest amount of pressure. She returned his actions albeit a bit shyly, before growing more confident. He smirked a little into the kiss, burning auburn still clashing against forest green. Then, surprising her, he bit her bottom lip, earning a breath of surprise. Using the opportunity to his advantage, he granted her with an open mouth kiss, a slick tongue licking at the rim of her mouth. With this new sensation, her eyes had finally shut.

He guided her hands to his chest, his own finding her broad hips. Following his lead, she allowed her hands to slip under the hem of his shirt, exploring defined, firm muscles. In more awkward silence, he pulled away, slipping off his shirt and coat with the quick motion of his hand, tossing it somewhere along the room. She had unzipped her sweater, rolling it off her shoulders and started to fold it. His eyebrow twitched, and in an impulsive act of impatience snatched her sweater and tossed it somewhere along his room as well. She stared at her empty hands for a moment, taking a moment to realize that her sweater was not in her hands any longer, and in fact thrown across the room.

"—_Someone_ needs patience." She bantered.

"Shut up." He muttered, pulling her to him once more. Their lips collided again, a little more naturally than before—seeing as Mamoru was slowly learning from his advances. Somehow, one moment turned to the next, and now she was melting into his hands, her own tangled in strands of maroon. Her thought process was muddling into something incoherent, and she could tell by the way he was leaning forward that he was feeling it too. He started to tug at the hem of her tank top, pulling away a few inches. "It's.. not too late to back out." He breathed, small bursts of arousal starting the stir within the pit of his abdomen.

"It's fine.." She trailed off, unabashedly slipping off her own top.

It took a few moments of fumbling with each others clothing, but they both eventually ended up nude. Rin didn't spend too much time admiring her body, seeing as this was not an act of romance, as opposed to an act of impulsion. That feeling of arousal started at ebb at him, and he carefully tore at the wrapper of that inconspicuous packet, rolling the thin rubber of the condom onto himself. Wordlessly, he towered over her, his mouth find hers once more. Nervous, although not voicing her own discomfort, she wondered vaguely if this had really been a good idea. That thought had been demolished upon feeling the unmistakable poke of Rin at her inner thigh. "Tachibana," He started again. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

_There_—a way out. They could forget this had _ever_ happened and—"I'm sure." Why was her mouth betraying the small voice at the back of her head? It didn't matter though, because now she felt the push of something thick in diameter against her entrance. She braced herself, sucking in a breath. The pushing continued for a bit, and she winced at the stretching. Finally the odd feeling of fullness enveloped her as she encased him in her moist heat. He waited a bit for the pain to lessen, and when she nodded up at him, he moved. Her hands reached up to grasp his shoulder blades, finger nails jabbing into the mildly tan flesh. The pain wasn't unbearable, although the feeling of him plunging in and out—_and in and out_— was gradually strange and uncomfortable. Brushes of pleasure would sometimes tingle above her bikini line, although they would fade when Rin aimed for a different spot.

He didn't seem to have much of a problem as far as she was concerned. Heavy pants and the occasional groan would exhale from his lips, baring his sharp shark-like teeth. Stimulating his rather rough libido, he dipped his head, mouths meeting in a messy, disorganized kiss of tongues and teeth and swollen lips. He started to pick up the pace, that odd sensation increasing into something more and—_there! There!_ A surprised moan tore from her throat, and he realized with mirth that he had finally found a spot she particularly liked. He rather enjoyed the wanton sounds she started to make, refraining from commenting on _how sexy she sounds panting into his ear_—because this wasn't an act of romance, but an act of impulsion. Hissing, cursing, groaning, moaning, and grunting were thrown between the two, sweat slowly starting to slick up their molding bodies.

The tension was starting to be too much, building higher and higher—_and higher—_until he reached his limit and released into her warmth. Subconsciously, he growled out her name. "_Mamoru_." But he couldn't find the will to be embarrassed as his muscles relaxed, causing him to collapse onto her. He panted heavily, trying to regather himself as he lain strewn over the younger Tachibana. Finally summoning the strength, he rolled off of her and onto his back with a sigh.

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_Silence._

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Wordlessly, he peeled the used condom from his softening length and with skilled aim tossed it into the trash bin beside his desk. He laid back down, his chest still heaving up and down with exertion. He swallowed thickly, and risked a peak to the other teen. She was staring at the bottom of Nitori's bunk, her expression blank. Slowly, her eyelids fluttered close.

"...Tachibana?" He tried.

"—It's nothing." She said. She hefted herself up into a sitting position. "It's fine."

He frowned, an odd feeling stirred in his chest. "Oi.." He started.

She heaved a sigh, her shoulders slumping an inch. His eyebrows furrowed when she looked back at him. A small, strained smile had appeared onto her face. "It's fine." She repeated. She threw an arm across her chest, stretching a bit. "I think I should go home now." She mumbled.

"Oi, _Tachibana_." He snapped, feeling a tinge of annoyance and even smaller spark of concern pinch at his insides.

She paused, her back facing him. "What is it?"

He scowled. "Look at me."

"No."

"It wasn't a question." He placed a hand to her shoulder, forcibly making her face him. Thick, prominent tears were rolling down red cheeks. He cursed,"You damn idiot." He growled. "I told you not to force yourself, didn't I?" He grit his teeth, but he didn't glare—instead pulling her into his arms, their naked torso's pressed tightly together, although nothing sexual was evident in this gesture.

"S-sorry.." She mumbled into his chest.

"What the hell are you apologizing for?" He snapped, holding her tighter. Her bottom lip started to tremble, and slowly—her defenses started to fall, that ache in her chest starting to throb as the day's exhaustion was finally being let out, and blubbering into Rin's sweaty chest. "S-sorry.." She cried. "I'm sorry."

"Shut up, will you?" Despite his rough tone, his expression softened. "It's not your fault."

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	26. Chapter 26

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 25**

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"You're leaving?"

"Yeah."

"..."

She was already shrugging her sweater back on, doubling over to tie her shoelaces tightly.

"So soon?"

She smiled teasingly, "Did you enjoy me crying in your chest or something?"

"That's not it!" He snapped. He couldn't keep up with her sudden mood swings. When he felt like he had gotten somewhere, she would suddenly redirect him elsewhere. It was frustrating, and quite frankly he didn't have the patience to figure her out. He let out a reluctant sigh, feeling as if the concern was only one-sided. She seemed unstable, and despite crying in his chest for about 20 minutes—she had bounced back, as if remembering something. As if remembering that as friends they aren't really close. It was infuriating. _She_ was infuriating, the way she contradicts herself in one way or another. Surely he had seen a side of her that she wouldn't—under normal circumstances—dare to show so blatantly. He didn't feel right leaving her alone after her little episode. She had been acting strange ever since she had gotten here. A small voice at the back of his head told him not to leave her alone—because leaving her alone at this stage would develop into something _unpleasant_. His thought process was cut off when he realized that she was turning the knob of his door.

"Oi." She paused, glancing back at him. Why was he trying to prolong the conversation? Maybe he was just overreacting? Besides, even if he had asked her to stay, girls were not allowed in the male dorms without permission. Nitori would come soon as well, and how was he to explain this situation, or how she had gotten here? Frankly, he didn't have the right to ask her to stay—especially since they weren't close—and that pissed him off more. Realizing that she was still waiting patiently, he looked away."It's not going to be awkward, is it?"

"What is?" She blinked.

"_Us_." He strained. "It's.. not going to be weird, right?" That had been another thought that had been nagging at him. They had had _sex_. Normal friends do not have sex. He wasn't looking for a relationship, and even if he were, Mamoru would _not_ be his first choice. He just didn't want her to start treating him differently—or worse, develop romantic feelings for him from this outcome. She was still a girl, and girls were pretty damn emotional about these things—

"It'll only be weird if you make it." She sent him a small smile, completely disconnected. "—Let's forget this ever happened, alright?"

She was already out the room before he could blink.

* * *

I felt funny. I couldn't describe the feeling, all I knew was that I felt it. Was it indifference? Why am I indifferent? It wasn't that numb feeling I had endured earlier—_no_. It felt like I didn't care about anything. It was different from before—completely, _utterly_ different from before. It wasn't the icky sadness that engulfed me or the terrifying deaden feeling of numbness—no, _I didn't care_. It wasn't liberating, or freeing_—_It felt like I had given up. The ultimate feeling of defeat. The type of 'what is there to loose' feeling after you hit rock bottom. And now that I didn't care—_I could do anything I wanted_.

When I arrived back home, Makoto and Haru were there—unsurprisingly at that. That funny feeling started to rear it's head, dimming my will to greet them, and instead I brushed passed both at the doorway.

"M-Mamoru!" My cousin sounded hesitant. "You're back." He said with a smile. "I'm glad—" He froze upon seeing the mark on my face. He was at my side in an instant, Haru following. "W-what happened!" His eyes were widen, taking in the ugly bruise that had been pulsating since I had gotten back to Iwatobi.

"Nothing." I stated in a flat voice.

His eyebrows furrowed. "_Nothing_?" He repeated. It dawned on him, and his eyebrows flew up in surprise. "He _hit_ you?" He breathed. "Oh my God, Mamoru! Are you alright—"

"Will you leave me alone?!" I snapped.

Makoto had froze, and Haru—who had been intensely quiet—eyebrows flew up in shock.

Urged on by the tense silence, I scoffed. "Just leave me alone." I muttered, brushing passed my cousin and continuing my way to my room—where I planned to lock myself in for the majority of the day. A hand to my wrist caught me mid-step. I glanced over my shoulder with omission. As I had assumed, it was Haru staring me down with a steady, hard look on his impassive face. I stared at him in disinterest, although did not say anything. The tension was rising, suffocatingly thick. His eyes were questioning, filled with concern and irritation. _Why are you acting like this_—they said.

That moment felt as if I was watching from afar, that this wasn't me, but I couldn't find the will to care, because I _liked_ this unsympathetic Mamoru. Nothing hurts. Nothing _matters_. Bitter amusement shone in my eyes. _What do you care_—they screamed.

"H-Haru.." Makoto placed a hand unto said boy's shoulder. "It's fine." The grip on my wrist tightened, the look intensified and I stared at him with half-lidded eyes. "_Haru_.." Makoto tried. Upon hearing his name for the second time, reluctant fingers uncurled around my wrist and I snatched it back. Without a second glance, I walked away.

In my room was where I was met with the impeccable, deafening sound of quiet. It bothered me, so instead I searched for my headphones and when I found them they fit snugly into my ears—the music blasting and vibrating my eardrums, drowning any unwanted feelings of guilt.

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School seemed more tedious than usual. I hadn't really wanted to participate in gardening club either, choosing to avoid Atsuko if anything else. Somehow, something had changed in me, and instead of thinking of how things would turn out better if I wait it out —I was thinking when would be the perfect day to escape. I mean, it was obvious wasn't it? I wasn't wanted here, or with my father, and I had blatantly used Rin as a source of relief. I completely disregard everyone else's feelings, focusing solely on myself. I didn't deserve these people. I was even the cause of my parents divorce. My Uncle had said it himself—they had been together since _high school_, yet with my birth I had completely destroyed any healthy relationship they had. I was a trigger to my father's other personality. No matter how I looked at it, one way or another I was a_ bad person_—therefore, I will take up the role. I won't cling to anyone anymore. I won't try to act innocent anymore. If I was going to Hell,_ I might as well enjoy the ride_.

"Tachibana-senpai!" Atsuko's high pitched voice squawked upon seeing my familiar silhouette. I hadn't paused, my hands shoved deep into my blazer pockets. "Tachibana-senpai!" She called again. This time she was at my side, peering at my face, panting lightly to catch up with my strides. "Hey, where were you these past couple days? I asked your classmate Ryugazaki-san if you were in class, and he said no—why'd you skip for 4 days?! You missed a lot of work!"

I hadn't answered right away, causing her mood to dim from enthusiastically scolding, to unadulterated confusion as she slowed to a stop. "Tachibana-senpai..?"

"Leave me alone, will ya? It's my business what I do, and mine alone." I finally said, picking up my pace and leaving her to stare at me with bewilderment.

"Tachibana-senpai.."

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"Mamo-chan! Ne, Mamo-chan! Where are you going?" Nagisa bantered, latching onto my arm. I blinked, having finally noticed him.

"Huh?" I couldn't help but blurt out.

"Where are you going?!" The blonde tried again with a pout. "I've been calling your name like a hundred times already!"

"Oh.." I said awkwardly. "I was going outside." Or somewhere.

"You're not coming to the roof?" He furrowed his eyebrows. He gasped. "Are you meeting up with other people?!"

I stared at him blankly. "No. And no."

He blinked a few times, then a dramatic "Why not?!"

"Because I don't want to." I wiggled my arm out of his clutch. He snatched my arm once again. I sighed through my nose, my jaw clenching. "Let go of me."

Now he looked confused, sensing that this wasn't our usual back and forth bicker. "...Mamo-chan?" Why did everyone say my name in a questioning manner every time they're confused? I freed my hand easily with a huff, then wordlessly walked away. I assumed that he did not follow me, continuing on my way.

* * *

"Mamo-chan's acting weird."

The statement caused Makoto and Rei to look up at the blonde. "What do you mean?" Gou spoke up curiously.

"I don't know." Nagisa frowned. "She seems.. strange. Maybe it's her time of the month?" The redhead smacked him upside the head.

"Or maybe she's just having a bad day?!" Gou snapped.

"That _could_ be it." Rei intervened. "—In class she seemed less talkative as well. Do you think something happened?"

Makoto and Haruka glanced at each other knowingly."She's been acting strange since she's came back. My Dad said that she went to the store, but hadn't came back until hours later." Makoto frowned in thought. Beside him, Haru had narrowed his eyes. Obviously something was troubling the younger Tachibana, and it was affecting her attitude as well. Something wasn't _right_—that much he could sense. When Makoto had told him that she had left without so much as a word, something pinched at his insides.

While he could relate to her not telling anyone anything particularly personal—something as much as saying where you were was a _completely_ different ordeal. He had no idea where she was. _Makoto_ had no idea where she was. It was worrying, and he wanted to be assured that his childhood friend was _alright_. That she was _safe_. Makoto cared about her, Ren and Ran cared about her, Nagisa, Gou, Rei, and maybe even Rin cared about her—**_he_** cared about her. More than he was willing to admit, and dearly at that. He felt oddly possessive of her, and to have one of his precious people disappear without so much as a warning had struck him. It had even affected his swimming. If it weren't for the fact that he didn't know where she was, and that she hadn't answered his text, he would've dragged her back _himself_. But Makoto had said that she would return in a few days, and he was prepared to confront her then, but the turn of events caused him to set aside the scenario for later.

The way she would clamp up and shut everyone out put him on edge._ What was she thinking?_ If she wouldn't tell him, then why not _Makoto_? She had always been rather fond of Makoto—but she brushed him off. Him as well. _Why?_ He didn't know—and that was the problem. No one knew but herself, and he felt as if he was watching her own self destruction from afar, not being able to do anything but watch because she wouldn't tell him anything. She wouldn't tell _anyone_ anything.

_Yes_—she was acting weird. _And he didn't like it._

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It was later on that he had realized how dire the situation had gotten.

The day had progressed as usual, and before he knew it—the day was ending, and he was back home, taking a long and soothing bath. He had marinated in lukewarm water for about 3 hours, and when he had hefted himself out, his fingertips and toes were shriveled and wrinkly. It was when he heard familiar mewling outside that he had stepped out, greeting the neighbor cats that had snuck into his small backyard. He petted them, and they purred with contentment, a small look of fondness had reflected in his eyes as he played with the cats.

"—Ow, ow! _Shit_." There, he had heard it.

He would've usually passed off the sound, if it weren't for the fact that this was a quiet neighborhood, and he knew that voice _particularly_ well.

Wordlessly, he ventured to look over the fence of his backyard, and non-surprisingly crouched the owner of the unmistakable voice. She was wearing a dark hoodie, beige khakis, and a suspiciously packed bag hung off of her shoulders—the focus of her attention the small cut at her thigh. A piece of her pants had caught onto some of the garbage, taring a small patch and jabbing into her skin, resulting in a cut that started to seep a tiny amount of blood. He used her moment of distraction to his advantage, unhinging the hook to his fence door and slipping out. Noticing that she still hadn't taken note of his appearance yet, he frowned. Why did she wear a bag at this time of night? Where was she going? Was she leaving again?

Was she.. running away?

"..Mamoru?"

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	27. Chapter 27

**A/n: Last chapter felt like it was lacking something. It went too quick and I felt as if I should've made it longer! -.- Anywho, it's too late to change it now. Maybe this one (or the next) would most likely make up for my incompetence hehe ^^; PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 26**

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I hadn't even noticed the piece of glass protruding from the trash can, and now my leg stung from the sudden scratch. I sighed.

What was I _doing_? This wasn't logical. I didn't think this through, but yet I couldn't stop myself. It was a sudden rush of impulse, and all I thought was that I needed _air_. Just for tonight. Maybe I'll come back later—maybe I won't. I had no idea what was going on in my head, but this felt right. I just needed to leave for a bit. Just for a bit. Recollect myself. Maybe find a job. Maybe don't. I don't know, I just need to—

"..Mamoru?"

I froze.

"Haruka-san?" I breathed. I turned around, and there, just as I had assumed, stood Haru.

Silence.

"What are you doing out here?" I tried to swallow the thick lump forming in my throat. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"Where are you going?" He asked instead.

"For a walk." I said.

"With a bag, at this time of night?"

"Yes."

The disbelief was written all over his face.

"What's in the bag?"

"Stuff." I looked away.

"Let me see." He took a step forward.

I took a step back. "It's just stuff—like garbage and things. Don't bother."

"Let me see the bag then."

"No."

He didn't listen, a hand snatching the handle of my bag and tugging on it. "Hey!" I snapped. "I said no!" My words had fallen on deaf ears, and now we were tugging on each end of the bag to gain access. But he was stronger, even when I leaned my entire body at the other side to add weight, he still progressed. Suddenly, he let go, and I tumbled backwards, hitting the ground with a muffled thump. I grunted at the impact, rubbing the back of my head when it throbbed. When I looked up, he had my bag, searching through my things. Clothes, toothbrush, wallet, more clothes and a blanket.

It was quiet.

"You're running away."

"I said I'm going for a walk." I growled. "Leave me alone." When I reached for the bag, he pulled it away and straightened himself promptly.

"Why are you.." I was silent, and he was glaring. "Why are you leaving again!"

I looked away. "That's none of your business."

"It's my business." He said stubbornly. "And it's Makoto's business."

"No it's not!" I stood up, lunging for my bag. "Just gimme my shit and let me be on my way!"

"No!" He snapped back at me. I glared at him.

"Give me my bag."

"No."

"Give me my fucking bag!"

"No."

"Goddammit!" I shrieked, I was 50 shade of done with this bullshit. I hit his chest, frustrated and angry. "Give me my—What're you doing! Let go of me!" Arms that belonged to the swimmer fastened around me tightly, restraining me from further movements. What the hell? _What the hell?!_ "Don't touch me!" I was slapping at him, trying to get him away. Punching, clawing, scratching, incessant pounding directed at his back, earning me grunts and hisses of pain in my ear. Why was he—_why was he_-? I was hyperventilating violently, and my legs gave out, Haru sliding to the ground as well. My erratic breathing continued, characterized by mutters and truncated hysteria. _  
_

What was going on?

Why didn't he let me go?

Why was he doing this?

Sensing that my fit was relatively over, he spoke. "Mamoru," I flinched, withdrawing into myself. "Why are you running away?"

"...M-m'not running away.." I mumbled, my voice oddly quaking. What happened to indifferent Mamoru? This was not supposed to happen.

"Mamoru, tell me." His voice was soft, as it always was—patiently awaiting my explanation. But I couldn't tell him. No I couldn't tell—

"Tell me, Mamoru."

"I-It's.. b-better this way.." I stuttered out.

"What is?"

"If I left." My hands were shaking, and I felt exposed, _naked_—and out in the open for him to judge.

"Why?" I could hear the frown in his voice and—_is he mad? Does he hate me?_ I started hyperventilating again. "Mamoru, it's okay."

"B-because.." My voice was breaking. "B-because.." I couldn't force out the words. "I.. I'm bothering everyone.." The truncated breathing came back, and I was now gasping between each word. "..'M bothering Makoto.. I-I'm bothering his family. I'm b-bothering you—I need t-to leave and I—"

"_Shh_." He cooed, a hand running through my hair, calming me down from my fostering anxiety. We sat in silence, him petting my hair, and me in a daze—my forehead against the nape of his neck. The ability to speak was dulled, and my breathing finally slowed. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear carefully, still maintaining the body contact. "Do you still want to leave?" He asked, the question itself unforeseen.

_No_—"Yes."

He pulled away a few inches, cerulean blue eyes peering at me in an unreadable stare. Somehow I felt more exposed as he observed me, and finally a light sigh exhaled from his lips. I didn't know what that meant, but he elaborated when he spoke again. "Spend the night here, and if you still want to leave in the morning, I won't stop you." It wasn't a question, and there was no room for argument.

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"Was this necessary?" I couldn't help but mumble out.

"Yes."

I blanched. "I could've slept on the couch or something—"

"I don't trust you."

I quieted, then sighed. "Whatever. I'm going to sleep." I turned over, sliding the blanket over my shoulder and curling into myself from under the covers. I was sleeping on the floor, in Haru's room. Well, more specifically, he had given me a sleeping bag. For some reason I think this was a form of punishment, especially since he had a _perfectly durable_ tatami mat, and there was _more than enough room_ in his bed. I grumbled to myself, knowing that he wouldn't voice it aloud, but he was prominently upset. We hadn't spoke much since we came in, and he was keeping a careful eye on me—to my dismay. I let out another shuddering sigh, thinking that I might as well make the most of my.. _sleeping bag_, and try to get some sleep. In the morning I'd leave—he had even said it, he wouldn't stop me.

"Mamoru,"

"Hm?"

"You're not a bother." I stiffened, but he continued. "You're very.. important to me." As if to soft the blow, he added. "And Makoto."

"..." Rendered speechless, my ears started to pound, impeccable heat collecting in my face, words caught in my throat. I chose not to answer, for fear I might say something wrong. I guess he sensed that I wasn't going to comment and instead flicked the lamp's light off. "'Night."

"N-night.." I returned nervously.

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'_Where am I?_'

A.. field?

The grass was green, it was flowing, billowing in the light breeze. Some wild flowers sprout randomly from the ground, dancing in the air. There was no sun out, but despite that—it was bright, with blue skies that stretch out endlessly. It was calming. It was relaxing, and I felt no stress piling on—no, I felt _free_.

But I was alone.

No wait—I heard giggling. It was faint, but it was nearing. Before I could look back, Ran and Ren ran past me. Ren momentarily stopped, looking back and waving in his childish enthusiasm. "C'mon, Onee-chan! You're gonna get left behind!" Before I could respond, the twins were running off in the distance once again. I blinked. That was.. _odd_—for lack of the better word.

"Mamoru, let's go." A warm voice coaxed. Uncle? He was smiling at me, his wife holding his hand with her usual gentle smile. "We're having green curry tonight, you don't want to be left behind." The couple started walking again, following after their children. This was confusing, but I stood stockstill where I was.

"Mamo-chan~!" _Nagisa?_

Said male appeared by my side with Rei in tow. "H-hey, don't drag me!" My classmate protested with a light scowl, his wrist in the tight hold of Nagisa's hand. The blonde made no move to tug me along, although he did look over his shoulder. "You're so slow! Come _on_!"

I still didn't move.

"Mamo-chan," The familiar voice of my cousin brought me back out of my trance.

"Makoto..?"

Haru was with him, a small, rare smile accentuating his face. Makoto smiled at me with his usual sincerity, holding out a hand for me to take. "Let's go, okay?"

"G-go?" I repeated. "Go where?"

"Where the others are." He chuckled. "You don't want to be left behind, right?"

"..No.." I mumbled. Hesitantly, I took his hand, taking a few steps forward. I suddenly halted. "Wait, I can't go yet." I frowned. "I'm.. waiting for someone."

Makoto glanced at Haru, who mirrored his look. He turned back to me, his fingers slipping out of my grasp. "..O-okay. Don't take too long."

I smiled faintly. "Don't worry." The pair sent me one last smile, before continuing on their way. Yes. It made sense—I was waiting for someone.

A familiar head of maroon walked into my view, his hands shoved into his pockets. Gou was by his side, latched onto his arm, but I couldn't see her expression. He stopped for a moment, looking back at me with a deep scowl.

"How long are you going to stand in the same place? Move forward, idiot." Rin sent me an annoyed glare, before walking into the distance with his sister—who hadn't spared me a glance—to catch up with the others.

I couldn't follow them yet, I had already said I was waiting for someone. For who—I didn't know. I knew this was important though—

"Mamoru-chan~!" I froze. My head immediately snapped to the direction of the unmistakable voice.

"M-Mom..?" I blinked incredulously. Was she the one I was waiting for?

There, who stood a foot behind me, was my mother who smiled in greeting. She was wearing the same clothes she had when she died, yet she was not splattered with blood—no, she looked healthy, breathing even. The very same eyes I had inherited twinkled with amusement, her expression teasing. I was overwhelmed with relief. My mother was with me. "Well, it's about time you notice me!" She grinned playfully.

"Mom, what're you doing here?" I was grinning from ear-to-ear as I turned around to face her fully.

"Ah-ah!" She wiggled her finger. "I can't tell you that. That would ruin my whole act." She laughed. Before I could question her what she mean by that, the look melted off her face—uncharacteristic solemnness replacing her smile. "Mamoru, walk forward. Don't look back anymore, okay? Everyone's waiting for you."

I smiled, I could do that. I finally had my mother with me. "Come with me!" I stepped towards her, holding out my hand. I had so much things to tell her—

"Sorry. No can-do, kitten." She shrugged. "You gotta do that on your own."

"W-what?" I frowned, my heart lurching at the thought. "But you're _right here_, let's go together!" I added a smile, knowing she would comply—

"I can't do that." She sighed. My face dropped.

"Why not?!" Anger was starting to seep into my system. What the hell was this?! I hadn't seen her _for months_, and she—"You're just being selfish! You can come, but you just don't want to!"

She smiled, not phased by my shouting, as if ultimately expecting that. "Mamoru, I can't." She held out her hand, and immediately something zapped her, bolts of electricity shocking her arm in bursts. She cringed, snatching her hand back and cradling it back to her chest. "Ouch." She pouted. She looked back at me. "_See_! I was trying to avoid this, but I told you—_I can't_." She sighed through her nose. It looked like she was loosing saturation, like she was _fading_. She frowned and muttered to herself. "_Already_?" She slumped her shoulders, then with a smile, looked back at me. "Welp, gotta go. It's was nice seeing you again Mamo-chi. Although, you have to move forward. Don't look back anymore." A kind smile tugged at her lips. "I love you. And be good."

"M-_Mom_!" I tried to take a step towards her, but her image had faded, and I was now staring at the background of what had been behind her. The grass and sunless sky continued on for miles, forever even. But that didn't matter, because the only conversation I had had with my mother since her death had been shortened and flimsy. She had disappeared. _She was gone_.

I was alone again.

I.. didn't want to be alone.

My jaw clenched tightly as I turned to where the others had ran off to, and attempted to move, but found that ultimately couldn't. I glanced down. Thick, protruding roots had ensnared my ankles, rooting them to the ground. "W-what the—" I tried to kick away the roots, but they didn't budge. _I couldn't move._

**_I couldn't move._**

"N-no.." I mumbled in denial. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't right. Why couldn't I move? Why was I stuck? "M-Makoto! Help!" He wouldn't be too far off right? "Makoto!" _Nothing_. They had all disappeared. I was alone again. "Please!" I cried. "_Please_! Help me! I-I'm stuck!" Makoto, _please come back. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Come back. Please—  
_

Deafening silence.

They were gone.

—That's right. I had all let them leave. I had pushed them all away.

And now they had moved on.

"D-don't leave me.." I sobbed. "_Don't leave me._.!" I was crouching to the ground, trying to dig the roots out so I may run to catch up with everyone. "Makoto! _Makoto_!" I screamed. I was clawing the dirt, but nothing worked. _Nothing worked_. "Haruka! Makoto!" I sobbed harder, my voice was turning raspy, and it hurt to speak. _Nononono_. Don't leave me. Don't leave me. I don't like it here. Please come back. Haru, _please come back—_

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I bolted straight up from my sleeping bag—no wait. I was on.. a bed? I gulped thickly, regathering my muddled thoughts. I was sweating, and strangely I was out of breath. I placed a hand to my erratically beating heart, taking slow, deep breaths. I finally sighed. That dream—no, nightmare?—felt so real, my emotions being placed so blatantly for me to see. Everything felt so vivid. The breeze, my screaming, Makoto's hand.

Could I really leave this place? I didn't want to. I just—I had no idea what was going on with me anymore.

I threw my legs over the bed and rolled my shoulders, popping out any kinks I might've gotten from sleeping on the floor. I exhaled at breath and trotted out of Haru's room.

I found him in the kitchen, frying mackerel. He didn't look up when I entered, my hair messy from rolling around in my sleep.

"Are you staying for breakfast?" He asked quietly.

"Hm?" I blinked, snapping out of my daze. "O-oh.. yeah.. sure, I guess." I mumbled. That earned me a glance.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah." I rubbed the back of my neck. Now he turned off the stove, plucking the fried mackerel and placing it onto two plates before turning towards me, facing me entirely. I flinched when he neared with a peculiar stare. "You're pale, and sweating." He stated blankly.

"I.. had a nightmare." I admitted, unable to stare into his eyes for longer than a second. "It was kinda embarrassing, so I don't—"

**_BAM!_**

The front door slammed open—what sounded like a dozen footsteps pounding onto the floor until they reached the dinning room, where Haru and I had just entered. I blinked in shock at the arrival of new faces.

"W-what are you guys doing here..?"

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	28. Chapter 28

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 27**

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When Makoto had roused that morning, it had been usual routine. He contemplated whether or not he should awake Mamoru as he usually did, but it seemed they weren't exactly on speaking terms as of the moment. He eventually decided to leave her alone, giving her her desired space.

Had he really been bothering her to that much of an extent? He didn't mean to make her feel that way, but to his defense he _had_ been giving her enough space, and he was merely worried of her well-being. She came home with a bruise and didn't even elaborate on how she had gotten it. His Dad was the one to break the news to him that he had told her everything.

A few years after Mamoru had left with her mother when they were kids—his Dad had told him in a simple tone when he had asked, that Mamoru's father wasn't well and didn't exactly _treat_ Sachiko or Mamoru well either. At first it had hit him hard—someone who's been with him since birth had been enduring this—and he didn't know? Some part of him was ultimately glad she could not remember something like this, and he took her arrival as a new start. She was offered another chance—metaphorically speaking. She could start anew, yet she shut everyone out. She had snuck off to gain answers that he knew she wouldn't like, and it had ended up in the worst case scenario.

He wanted to talk with her, he wanted her to vent to him so that she wouldn't hold in her troubles. Keeping everything inside wouldn't make anything better, and he just wanted his little cousin back. Was it selfish to want that? Even Haru was confused as to what was going on.

He sighed. Would waiting it out do anything positive? He couldn't just _wait_ until she wanted to talk to him—because who knew how long that would take. He made up his mind, crossing the hall and reaching Mamoru's door. Two reverberating knocks rapt the door. He waited patiently. She must be sleeping—he thought. He twisted the knob and pushed the door open, peering in hesitantly. There was a lump bundled under the covers, and he approached what he thought was Mamoru. "Mamo-chan?" He tried. Up close he could make out that it wasn't the silhouette of a curled up body. Suspicious, he yanked away the blankets, and to his dismay, there was nothing but a note. The feeling of dread crept up his spine. Had she left again? But where would she go this time? The curiosity could not be quelled as he unfolded the paper. Two simple sentences of chicken-scratch was what met his eyes.

'Sorry for leaving a measly note again. I'm sorry, and Goodbye.'

Goodbye? Why use such a final word? Wasn't she coming back?

Unknowingly, he had crumpled up the paper in his tightening grip. Had he really been too late?

No. She shouldn't be too far, right?

He would need help though. He flipped out his phone, contacting the first list of people he could think of.

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"Have you found her yet, Nagisa?" Rin hollered from over the phone.

"Not yet!" Was the crow back over the line.

"No luck here!" Was Rei's voice.

"Mako-chan, did you get a hold of Haru-chan?"

"No I—Wait! I'm getting a call!"

"Is it Haru-chan?"

"Hello."

"Haru!"

"Haruka-senpai!"

"Guys?" Was the response. "Are we on a 5 way?"

"That's not important!" Rin snapped. "Get your ass out here, we're looking for that damn Mamoru."

"Ehh? Since when were you on a first name basis with Mamo-chan?"

"Shut up, Nagisa." Rin growled. "If I say Tachibana I'll only think of Makoto!"

"Of me?"

"Guys." Said Haru.

"Still, that's never stopped you before!" Nagisa teased.

"—Guys."

"Shut it, Nagisa."

"—_Guys_."

"H-hey, Haru's trying to speak! Please quiet down." Makoto voiced.

"What is it, Haruka-senpai?"

"Mamoru's here. She's sleeping in my bed."

"_What_." Rin blanched. "D-did you guys do anything?"

"Huh? Is RinRin jealous?!"

"_Haah_? What are you saying, idiot?!"

"I shouldn't be too far, I'm coming over!" Makoto said promptly.

"Me too! Let's meet up first, 'kay?"

"Alright."

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They met up in front of Makoto's house, all nodding to each other before darting towards Haru's place. Nagisa didn't bother knocking as he burst through the entrance, the others following suite. They reached the living room first, and true to Haru's words stood Mamoru, blinking wildly at the sudden arrival of swimmers.

"W-what are you guys doing here..?" She blurted, her green eyes pin-balling from one person to the other.

"Finally found you.." Rei panted. They were all out of breath, and Rin was the first to recover—eyes blazing and fury provoked.

"What the hell Mamoru!" He exploded. "Are you an _idiot_?! Leaving a note for Makoto and ditching the place for you only to be _here_?! Are you serious?! We thought you ran away again you little shit! We were looking all over town for you and _you were here the entire time_?!" His stormed up to her, grabbing a handful of the front of her shirt, shaking her with each word that tumbled out of his mouth. "What the hell's your problem, haah?! Do you think pulling this type of shit is hilarious?!"

"R-Rin, I think you're being too rough!" Makoto intervened, but did not come to her defense.

"No way! She's definitely asking for it!" He glared over his shoulder. "This little shit thinks this is funny! Here we are busting our asses to find her and she was lounging comfortably in Haru's damn bed!" He snarled. He turned a frightening glare back at the speechless Mamoru. He shook her again. "Do you even know how much stress you're putting on Makoto?! Doing this type of shit _again_!? I swear if you weren't a girl—"

"Rin!" Haru. Said male turned his glare towards the raven. "You're wrong. She was trying to runaway last night. I told her to stay here for the night, and if she still wanted to go, I wouldn't stop her."

"H-Haru.." Makoto breathed. "Why..?" He trailed off.

"I said I wouldn't stop her." Haru continued. He closed his eyes momentarily, and when he reopened them, there was the barest hint of a smirk on his face. "I never said anything about you guys."

"Y-you—" Mamoru whorled around to stare at the water-infatuated boy in disbelief. "You lied!"

"Oi! Shut up!" Rin barked. "I'm still not finished with you."

"Mamo-chan?! Why were you trying to leave?! Do you not like us anymore?" Nagisa prodded with teary eyes.

Said female shook her head. "That's not it!—"

"Then what is it, Mamoru?" Makoto took a step forward, his eyes intense and his expression pleading. "Please tell us."

"I-I—" When had it gotten so stuffy in here, she thought. This was overwhelming, but it seemed as if she didn't have a choice in the matter. The answer was forcefully being pried away. Something that she's kept to herself. She couldn't do this. She needed air. **_No I don't want to say it I'm scared I'm scared_**—

"Oi! We're waiting!"

"Rin!" Haru snapped in an almost scolding tone. The redhead backed down with a huff, his fingers finally unclasping the front of her shirt. Haru placed a hand unto her shoulder, and when she looked up to meet his eyes, he nodded. "Go on." He muttered. She gulped thickly and looked back to the group of boys. She let out a humorlessly laugh, as to distract herself from the hammering in her chest, thumping in her veins. She scratched her cheek, the feeling of vulnerability lain strewn for all the see.

"I-I thought.. I was bothering everyone.. So it'd be better if I l-left." She was shaking like a shivering chihuahua, her hand's trembling and moisturizing with sweat. She gripped the hem of her shirt tightly, unable to look any of them in the eye and purely focusing on her toes. "I thought.. s-since I was forced here that.. I wasn't wanted in the first place. I-I mean, it makes sense right? S-some random person being forced to live with your family. Y-you would think they're a-a burden right? You'd have to show her around and introduce her to your friends because y-you'd feel bad if she were all alone, right? I-If that was the case.. it'd be better if that person was never there to begin with.. S-she should just disappear, because she's annoying.."

"M-Mamoru-san.." Rei echoed in bewilderment.

Before anyone could speak, a punch to her head was granted. A chorus of gasps as a lump formed and Mamoru cradled her head. "_OW!_"

"You fuckin' idiot!" Rin bellowed in a surly tone. A stressmark had appeared onto his forehead as he towered the cowering girl who held her head with teary eyes. "Where the hell is this coming from, huh?! Do you really think we'd spend our time with you if it wasn't worth it?! Or if you were a burden?! You're annoying as hell, but we don't dislike you, stupid! Why would I even spend my time here looking for you when I could've already finish my morning run, hah?!"

"Rin-san lacks any type of sensitivity." Rei commented. Haru nodded in agreement.

"Mamo-chan, you're so dumb!" Nagisa wailed. "We love you!" He latched onto her. "Why didn't you just say something huh? Leaving like this is not cool at all!" He hugged her tightly. "If you ever try to leave again, I won't forgive you!" He sent her a firm glare.

"Neither would I, Mamoru-san." Rei smiled.

"H-huh?" She blanched. "W-what're you guys saying?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Rin snapped.

She blinked a few times, examining the faces of the swimmers. Rin was scowling, Haru and Makoto were smiling, Nagisa was pouting, and Rei was adjusting his glasses with a smirk. They was no contempt in their eyes. They didn't look at her the way Mika had. They.. didn't consider her a burden.

She smiled.

They didn't consider her a burden.

Vision blurry, nose starting to become stuffy, her cheeks reddening as she looked down at her feet, her shoulder trembling.

_Stupid_, she thought, _so stupid_.

"Huh? M-Mamo-chan, why are you crying?" Nagisa peered at her face, his eyebrows flying up in surprise. He sent a pointed look over at Rin. "RinRin, you made her cry!"

"I-I didn't do anything wrong!" He immediately defended. He was just speaking his mind! Upon seeing the fat tears roll to cup her face, he turned to Haru for help, but the raven shrugged.

"T-that's not it.." Mamoru murmured with a voice thick with tears. "I-I'm just.. really happy." She breathed. "I'm happy." She repeated with a whimper, the tension rolling off her in waves. She felt light—no, she felt _free_.

"Mamo-chan.." Nagisa sniffled. "Now you're making me cry." Hearing the over-dramatic boy's words, she couldn't help but giggle. The sound was foreign and childish that made the majority of the boy blink in surprise. It sounded cute. It sounded _real_.

Haru smiled at Makoto, who seemed to mirror it's radiance times 10 with relief. The brunette turned towards his cousin and held out a hand for her to take. "Let's go home, okay?" He waited until Nagisa had reluctantly let go of her, she took the hand with a smile.

"A-alright."

.

"You're grounded."

"What?"

"You're grounded." Her Uncle smiled, repeating after his wife. He felt no regret upon seeing the crestfallen face Mamoru gave. "For a month. When you're out, you must call either of us _and_ be with Makoto. After school, you're only allowed out of your room for bathroom breaks and food. If you leave and you don't tell either us or Makoto, your time is doubled. That means two months. Everyday you must walk home with either Makoto or Haruka-kun, and we're disabling the internet."

"B-but—"

"No buts." Makoto's mother frowned. "We had told you that the first time you left, you wouldn't be punished—but this is the second time and you've proved yourself untrustworthy. You have to earn our trust back. Now please go to your room."

"I—"

"_Go_."

Her shoulders slumped and she dragged her feet as she sluggishly made her way to her room. Who knew Makoto's parents were that strict. And to even cut off the internet? How cruel.

Makoto sighed as he watched his cousin leave. His mother turned to her eldest son. "Makoto," Said boy jolted.

"Y-yeah?"

"That means you can't visit her in her room either." She smiled knowingly, although he could still pick up the faint traces of motherly fury in her expression. "So make the most out of this one visit, alright?"

He nodded with a smile, following after his cousin. When he entered her room, he blinked when he saw her slumped over her bed lazily. He knocked on the door, as to announce his entry.

"Came here to laugh?"

He frowned. "That's not it." He sighed, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "..Why didn't you say anything?'

She stiffened. "Mamoru?"

"I didn't thought it wouldn't make a difference. And.. it's sort of hard for someone like me to admit what's bothering them.."

"That didn't stop you before." His frown deepened. She sighed, and he looked over to peer at her face.

"Why did you leave that stupid message?"

"Huh?" He blinked.

She finally turned to face him. "Why did you leave that message when I left to see my father?" She was frowning."You made it seem as if you didn't care whether I came back or not."

"Mamo-chan.." He stared. "I thought you wanted space." He hesitated, but continued regardless. He couldn't keep trying to spare her feelings is that meant sparing her from the truth as well. "You kept pushing everyone away, that I started to think you didn't want anyone around you. What you said earlier.. really surprised me. All this time, Haru and I thought that you were trying to leave because you didn't want to be here."He paused, then stared at her, his eyes boring into hers without a blink. "You.. hurt a lot of people, Mamoru." He didn't mean to seem as if he were blaming her, but he felt as if she needed to hear this. "I think you should think about your actions." He hefted himself up and patted away imaginary dust from his pants. When he looked back at her, she was staring at him, her eyes big and confused. He sent her a smile regardless, to let her know that he wasn't angry with her, but was just upset for the moment. Hopefully the message had transferred to her. She needed to learn her lesson, so that something like this did not happen again. He returned to the frame of the door with a last glance back at her,

"I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

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	29. Chapter 29

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 28**

* * *

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_'Im boredd :('_

_'ur grounded. ur supposed to be bored.'_

_'Well, I dont like it.'_

_'its ur own fault idiot.'_

_':('_

_'-.-'_

_'Youre no fun :I What are you doing now?'_

_'stuff.'_

_'Yes, thank you for elaborating all knowing one.'_

_'ur so funny i forgot to laugh.'_

_'You love it.'_

_'-_-'_

_':)'_

_'...no.'_

_'aw why not.'_

_'bcuz.'_

_'because*'_

_'oh my bad i didnt know i was in class.'_

_'Look it up. 101-get-a-dictonary-dot-com'_

_'dictionary*'_

_'The student.. has now became.. the teacher.. A moment of silence plz'_

_'omfg ur stupid.'_

_'Intelligent*'_

_'wtf is the point of this convo'_

_'I told you im bored'_

_'text haru then.'_

_'He barely answers :/'_

_'-_-'_

_'lalalaa..'_

_'shdfssdkaljd'_

_'Are you speaking Australian?'_

_'-_-'_

_'LOL jkjk'_

_'ur on a whole different level of dumb'_

_'Youre just jelly u cant get on my level.'_

_'why would i want to?'_

_'Cuz we have cookies and strippers. Get w/ the program Rinny'_

_'wtf & do NOT call me Rinny.'_

_'Rinny-poo?'_

_'NO'_

_'Rin-poop?'_

_'NO'_

_'Youre right that sounds gross.'_

_'-_-'_

_'tho's faces arent attractive.'_

_'there not supposed to be.'_

_'Rinny-poo u should sing me a song.'_

_'No & stop calling me that!'_

_'Sheesh. What r u going to do when u get a wife?o.o'_

_'huh'_

_'I mean shes going to call u cute nicknames rite? Shes so gonna be disappointed when she cant call u Rinny-poo!'_

_'She won't call me Rinny-poo, and im not planning on getting married so thats a no either way!'_

_'Boring'_

_'stfu'_

_'I bet ur gonna get married w/ like 40 kids when ur older'_

_'yeaaah sure'_

_'You dont want 40 kids?!:o'_

_'Tell me WHO YOU KNOW wants 40 kids..'_

_'People w/ sharkteeth.'_

_'r u really starting with me rite now.'_

_'Ok ok, sorry hehe'_

_'-_-'_

_':)'_

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"Tachibana-senpai!" I blinked in surprise when I saw Atsuko run towards me, stopping when she had caught up to me, doubling over and panting heavily.

"Oh, Takashi." I smiled. "What's up?"

She did a double take, blinking wildly. "I must of got the wrong person.. My bad." She muttered, turning around and walking the other direction.

My eyebrow twitched. "Hey, Takashi! Where are you going?!"

She stopped, glancing back at me. "I'm looking for my senpai!"

"I am your senpai you dunce." I said in a flat voice.

"No way!" She shook her head. "You _smiled_."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"Tachibana-senpai is always grumpy. And distant. And antisocial. And annoyed at everything. And she always gives this dark aura of—"

"Okay. I get it." I grumbled. I sighed, glancing back at her. She was still staring at me. "I'm sorry, okay? I was..—well, I don't know what I was. I guess you can say confused. I'm sorry if I ever hurt your feelings." I bowed my head, remembering Makoto's words.

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_"You.. hurt a lot of people, Mamoru."_

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"S-senpai..?" Atsuko breathed in astonishment. "I.. don't know what to say. I came looking for you, so I could apologize." _What?_ Seeing my look of bewilderment, she continued, brushing away a few strands of hair away from her face. "I thought I did something to upset you."

"You didn't." I straightened. With a hearty laughed, I scratched my cheek. "I was just being a bitch. Sorry."

"Senpai.." She was staring at me with big brown eyes that only slightly bordered creepy. "I never thought you were a bitch! I just thought that.." Now she looked embarrassed. "I always thought you were cool. Like this unbreakable person that didn't need anyone."

I snorted. "I'm not unbreakable." Her eyes met mine in curiosity. "I'm a crybaby, and I'm needy. I'm really clingy, and I'm afraid that one day everyone is going to leave me so I get scared and clamp up instead of reaching out. When I do that, sometimes my head makes up shit that really scares me. And I disregard everyone else's feelings because of it. I'm not unbreakable," I sucked in a breath. "I'm selfish. But I'm coming to terms with that, so that the people whom I care about don't have to deal with it anymore." The image of Makoto came to mind. I won't let him down anymore. I won't hurt him anymore. I won't push him away. I wanted to be different. For him. For Haru and Nagisa and Rei and even Rin. I didn't want Atsuko to look at me and think 'she's cool' because I was being distant and cold to everyone. I want to be someone who I would like, then I want her to look at me and think 'she's alright'. I wanted to be—_I wanted to be like Makoto. _Someone selfless, who didn't think of themselves first, and was aware of others needs. He had been there for me the entire time, and I let it completely go over my head. I had forgotten—and now I wanted to remember.

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_"—But Mamo-chan is still my best cousin."_

_"Forever and ever?"_

_"Forever and ever and ever!"_

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"T-Tachibana-senpai.."

I blinked. More had trampled out of my mouth than I originally intended. Though I was blushing, internally embarrassed that I had spoke of something that I've always kept in me for the longest time, I wasn't upset. I didn't care if Atsuko ever used that against me, because it was the truth. The raw, unspoken truth. I was a sensitive, scared little guppy yet had the exterior of a calm, collected bull. It was almost laughable, but I wouldn't pity myself any longer.

Awaiting an onslaught of judgement stares, what I received instead was unexpected. A smile of understanding. "That's alright, Tachibana-senpai. You're only human." She tugged at the hem of her shirt absently, the smile melting into something warmer. "Actually.. for you to admit that, is very admirable. It makes me want to be like you even more.."

"B-be like me?" I stuttered, my cheeks flushing._ Be like me?_ **_I_** didn't even want to be like me. It made me chuckle, out of confusion and out of irony. Atsuko was weird. Maybe even a bit stupid. If I were her, I would have jumped out the train before it had even started. With how I treated her, like an annoyance, like a kid, I would've left a long time ago. I sighed. "Maa.. Takashi you're really strange."

She looked back up at me, expression unfaltering. "No. I'm human. Just like you. We're stupid, we're intelligent, we make mistakes, and we're selfish. We're _human_, Tachibana-senpai."

I stared, unable to retort to what she had said. Perhaps I hadn't gave her enough credit. Yes, I smiled bitterly, this was exactly what Makoto was talking about. I hadn't acknowledged other people. Atsuko was much more mature than I ever was, and I've never noticed it until now. "Hey, maybe I should start calling _you_ senpai." I joked with a smile.

She flushed, waving her hands in front of her. "T-that's not necessary!"

I smirked, turning around with my hands behind my head. "Atsuko, then?"

When I glanced at her, she was as red as a tomato. Did I break her? "I-if only I call senpai Mamoru!"

I grinned, throwing an arm around her shoulders and ruffling her head. "Well, I guess I have no choice!" I laughed, messing up her hair.

.

I couldn't believe this.

Were they serious?!

This was cruel.

"Another lap!"

"Ugh!"

"C'mon Mamo-chan! You're so slow!"

I felt like crying.

"You're worse than Rei-chan when he first started out!" The blonde kept badgering me.

That little shit.

I was near tears! Exercise and I _do not mix well_. It was bad enough that I was grounded, but now I must be punished by being forced to participate in their swim practices?!

"I'm not doing anymore!" I hollered back. Yes I was pouting. Sulking even.

"That's alright," Makoto smiled from above the surface, dry and beaming. "It's time to leave anyway." I take back what I had said about Makoto. He was in on this too. Behind that smile was a cruel man, I tell you. A cruel, _cruel_ man!

He was punishing me. I know he is. Haru too. I know I've said it before, but those two really _are_ worse than my parents!

"Mamoru," I jolted from my place in the pool, causing ripples to float from my silhouette. I glanced over my shoulder. Haru was doing that weird half-of-his-face-emerged-in-water thing. I looked away pointedly, and he blinked. I heard a light sigh, and scrunched up my nose when he hefted himself out of the water. I waited until I heard the slap of his wet feet against the pavement before peaking an eye. He was staring at me with his usual blankness, and without warning, he held out his hand, as if waiting for me to grab. I stared at his hand momentarily, mulling whether or not to take it. With a sigh, I reached for his hand, his palm cool and slick from being in the water for so long, mine mirroring its texture. He hoisted me up without a word, and before I myself could say anything, Makoto appeared with two towels. Haru took his with a small "thanks", drying his head and walking away to go change.

I was left alone with Makoto, the air filled with mildly awkward silence. I looked away, silently hoping that he forgave me—that way I could talk to him normally and also wouldn't be forced to do these dreaded laps anymore. It was strange. I had never been on the side where I was the one to beg for forgiveness. I didn't like feeling so sorry, and waiting until someone gave me the 'okay'—usually because I always felt that I was right. Call it conceited. In this case I had been wrong, and I had wronged Makoto. My reverie was shortened when I felt a towel being tossed over my head. "Hey!" Much larger hands were placed over the towel, rubbing gently to dry my hair. I peaked from under the towel to see Makoto let out a sigh. When he caught me staring, he sent me a smile.

"If you leave your hair wet like that, you'll catch a cold."

"M-Makoto..!" I bit out, sending him big, wide puppy eyes, my heart stuttering in my chest.

His smile softened. "You shouldn't frown so much."

"M-Makoto.." I looked down at my toes, twiddling my fingers subconsciously. "Do you.. uh.. f-forgive me?"

It was quiet. The ruffling of the towel stopped momentarily, and I found it hard to meet my older cousin's eyes—afraid of what expression may be forming. I heard a sigh. "Mamo-chan.. I'm not angry with you. I'm sorry if I made you think that." I glanced up at him. There was a soft look to his eyes, and he smiled. "I forgave you a long time ago. I guess I was still a little upset, we all are." He sighed. I was sending him my puppy eyes again, and he sweat-dropped. Eventually he chuckled warmly, and what had been stuffy air of awkwardness had suddenly vanished. "We were going to get something to eat with Rin after practice—do you want to come?"

"But.. Aunt—"

"I'll explain to her the situation." He countered without a falter in his expression.

"Are you sure it's okay..?" I drawled.

The massaging to my head continued as Makoto dried my hair. "Of course."

"Okay then.." I mumbled. I glanced back up at him. "I'll go change then."

* * *

"You're here too?" Rin blinked upon seeing the familiar figure of Mamoru. She nodded with a grin.

"Rinny-poo!"

His expression immediately darkened. "You.."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" She laughed with a wave of her hand.

"Rinny-poo?" Nagisa blinked. Rin scowled.

"I won't forgive you if you start calling me that." He snapped. Mamoru snickered.

The group sat at a large booth, ordering two pizzas. It wasn't usually that they would go out for fast food such as this, but considering the swimmers mostly had a long day, they were willing to squeeze in this one luxury. Even Rei, who wasn't a fan of greasy foods had relented. Nagisa was bouncing in his seat, along with Gou who shared a 3rd of his enthusiasm. Mamoru, who was burnt out of energy—considering the amount of exercise she had endured that she was ultimately not used to at all, was leaning against Haru, who—unfortunately for him—was the closest body that could be used as a pillow. He didn't seem to mind, in fact, while the food had arrived, he nudged her gently to alert her. She blinked and with a grin dug in. The group proceeded into lively conversation, Haru occasionally inputting his own commentary.

Rin kept glancing at Mamoru and Haru who—while the pair didn't speak much—seem pretty comfy with each other. The area around her mouth was messy, crumbs, sauce and oil coating her lips. Without a blink, Haru had retrieved a napkin, grabbing hold of her chin gently and wiping that area thoroughly. She only flinched slightly at the sudden contact, but didn't seem to mind. "Thanks." She said, to which Haru nodded. The familiarity was unnerving.

"You could've just told her she had something on her face." Rin blurted suddenly, unable to sit idly by and watch while the others made no comment or action that they had noticed the exchange. Mamoru was related to Makoto, so there was no argument that she became friends with Haru—but they seemed a bit close, whether they noticed it or not themselves. Had they even realized how that _looked_ to bystanders? It looked as if they were some lovey-dovey couple that dotted over each other constantly. They weren't dating were they? No, Haru would have told them—or at least Rin thought he would. No, something had changed among them, and that night Mamoru had spent over Haru's when she was supposedly trying to run away had drew them closer. They themselves hadn't noticed the change or—had they always been this close with each other? _Why was it bothering him so much?_ Yeah, they had sex—but that was a one time deal. No feelings were involved, because they didn't _have_ feelings for each other beyond mild friendship. The most he would consider her was an annoying little sister. _That's it_. The possibility of him ever harboring affection beyond that was absurd—and even if he _did_, Haru seemed to have already call dibs by the way he was acting. This was ridiculous. Why would he even be considering the possibility of having feelings for _Mamoru, _of all the people in the world? He had no time for a girlfriend anyhow!

The two blinked. Nagisa intervened without missing a beat. "Oh! They do that all the time! Mamo-chan's a really messy eater, you know." That didn't make it any better. So was this a daily thing? Why hadn't he noticed this before? Was it because it didn't matter before? Not to say it matters now. Just because they did it, didn't mean he had some sort of claim on her. Jealousy wasn't his thing either.

Mamoru cut in. "I just don't feel it sometimes, 'kay?" A snappish intone directed to Nagisa, who snickered at her reaction. It seemed to be something he particularly liked to pick on.

"Still," Rin scowled. "You could've just _told_ her." Why was he still stuck on this? He had just wiped her mouth. Then again, Rin was sure Haru wouldn't do that for any of his guy friends, or even Gou. This was different. He treated her different, and _that's_ was what irked him. Not to say that Mamoru was a bad person.. but—_ugh. I need to stop thinking about this_, his scowl deepened.

"That would be bothersome." Said Haru flatly. "She'd probably miss it. It would be faster if I did it for her." Was it really that bothersome, in reality? Who even _cares_ if her face was messy?

"That's true," Makoto chuckled. Not even Makoto was concerned over this. That proved it, this _was_ a daily occurrence.

"Hey!" Mamoru flushed. "I'm not a kid, you know!"

Gou laughed lightly and Rin smirked, rather enjoying her flustered expression. The need to point her attention elsewhere was nagging, chewing at the back of his head. "You sure act like it."

Makoto chuckled when she sent him a nasty look. Rin's smirk widened. It was usually _her_ that annoyed him with her teasing, yet the turn of tables wasn't unpleasant. No. It wasn't unpleasant when he was her earning her attention."Aw. Is baby Mamo-chan upset?"

"I don't know,_ Rinny-poo_, am I?"

He glared. Alright. Maybe it was a _bit_ unpleasant when he had her full attention."I told you to stop calling me that!"

"You started it." She shrugged with a playful smirk. He narrowed his eyes at her in a frightening glare. She laughed, pulling out her phone and making haste to film him. "Here we have the _mighty_ aquatic beast! The _shark_! Now these things can smell blood from miles away, and are even said to sense _fear_! Don't provoke him! Their teeth are _razor_ sharp and—_Ow! Ow!_" She whined when he drilled his knuckles at each side of her temples, her crappy Steven Irwin impersonation cut off by the abrupt pain. "Okay! _Okay_! I'm sorry! I love you!"

He scowled, but let her go upon hearing her words. She pouted. "Makoto, Rinny-poo is being mean!"

"Please don't drag me into this.." Said male sweat-dropped with a nervous smile. A stress-mark appeared at Rin's forehead as he slammed his hands onto the table, fixating an angry glare at her smug grin.

"I _told you_ to stop calling me that!"

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	30. Chapter 30

**A/n: I decided to split this chapter into two parts! ^^, so that would vaguely explain the cliffhanger. I feel like at the beginning of this fic there was a lot of Haru/Mamo scenes, and during Mamoru's baby mama drama episodes, we've (mostly me ha) forgot the chemistry they kinda/sorta had, and this chap is to bring it back. **

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 29 : Part I**

* * *

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A knock at my door interrupted my thoughts.

Since I had been grounded, I had plenty of time to think to myself—when I wasn't pestering Rin through stupid texts that is. He's become a texting-buddy of sorts. Someone to liberate my lulling boredom when I was alone in my room. I found out a lot of things from him. Such as his teeth were natural, and Nitori's hair color was natural as well. That was mind blowing, really. I mean, _silver_ hair? Then again that Mikoshiba guy had hair the color of a firetruck! Oh, and Rin works out like a maniac. I couldn't imagine doing that everyday. Morning runs? Don't even get me started. Of course, that was his lifestyle. A go-getter, I think that's what they call it. I was a go think about it, get motivated for about 2 seconds, then forget about it type. He seemed annoyed that I was sluggish, but hey—that was _my_ lifestyle.

Actually, I was thankful that my metabolism was fairly normal, or else who knew how large I'd be from purely not doing anything active. Well,—I looked down, patting my squishy tummy, prodding at the layer of fat—I don't think it was my metabolism at all. I think it was the Asian food. They had slimmed me down a size since I had came here, but I liked to eat. And seeing as the food here was rather healthy, I took full advantage of that, eating seconds and even thirds when there was an option. Although, when I thought about it, I was surrounded by everyone who had abs and toned bodies. Even Gou was fairly fit, in a skinny, petite way. I kinda wanted abs too, I pouted. I patted my tummy again, watching as it jiggled a bit. Then again, if I had abs, I wouldn't be able to do _that_. This was a hard decision. Life changing even—

Another knock made me blink. That's right, wasn't someone at the door? I made haste to roll back down my shirt. "Come in."

The door creaked open, and a familiar silhouette shifted in. Oh yeah, Haru had came over today. I wasn't allowed out of my room, so I hadn't really greeted him. Him and Makoto weren't allowed to visit me either, so my curiosity was peaked upon seeing his impassive face. "What is it, Haruka?" Somehow I had dropped the 'san'. I figured that we were pretty close enough as it is, and he _did_ address me by my given name without honorifics either so..

"Dinner's almost ready" Said Haru.

I wasn't particularly hungry right now, despite my earlier thoughts ironically revolving around food. "I'll eat later."

He blinked at me, before shuffling in fully, closing the door behind him quietly. I blinked, and felt a spike in my heart rate. What was he doing? He wasn't allowed to be in here. I was grounded!

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_"You're very.. important to me."_

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_Shit._ Why was I remembering that _now_?

Wordlessly, he settled at the edge of my bed, his forearms lain across his lap as he stared at the far off end of the wall. I sat up, sitting Indian style as I cautiously watched him."H-Haruka..?"

It was quiet for the longest time. I poked him experimentally, and almost playfully added, "You dead?"

"I'm not dead." He retorted.

"Then, what is it?" I asked curiously with a tilt of my head. "Is something wrong?"

"No." He shook his head. Hesitant silence. "I've just been thinking, that we haven't spent time with each other in awhile."

Heat licked at my face, leaving a scorching aftermath. "O-oh.." I could only manage to say. My heart started to pound against my ribs, hammering for a way out. I was suddenly reminded of Makoto's words. If Haru hadn't stopped me that night, who knows where I would be now. He was the one who showed me, not tell me, the ones who cared. He understood that actions spoke louder than words, and found a way to smack some sense into me without directly doing anything. I've neglected him as well. My eyes softened, my voice forming into something sweet and genuine. "Haruka.." I waited until he glanced at me, and wordlessly, I leaned forward, pressing lips to his cheek in an act of gratitude. "Thank you. I appreciate what you have done." I pulled away with a fond smile. "You're very important to me too."

I watched with interest as his cheeks filled with a rosy color, and I realized with mirth that he was blushing. I laughed a little, mostly because it was easiest facade I could pull on without blatantly showing my embarrassment. If the warmth was any indication, I was blushing too.

The silence drawled out longer, and Haru stared. His hand reached out to cup my face, which made me blink in surprise. "H-Haruka..?" He didn't speak, but his eyes radiated warmth.

_How could I ever have thought he was selfish?_—A small voice hissed in a fading whisper at the back of my head. I had been wrong about a lot of things. Haru definitely one of them.

Maybe he was swept up in the moment, or maybe I was leaning in too close without recognition, but our faces were closing in—and I was vaguely reminded of that moment in the closet. This time, there was no interruptions, no pauses. Our mouths met, a hesitant brush of the lips. He smelt of chlorine and mouthwash, ironically at that, and I could only hope that I my breath didn't stink if comparisons were being made. "Mamoru.." A ghost of a whisper exhaling from his mouth, and then finally he kissed me. Fully and completely. Our lips molded against each other, the barest amount of pressure applied to maintain contact. It was purely instinctive, as well as fumblingly awkward, but I felt warmth stir in the pit of my abdomen from the intimate contact. Hands, soft and wide, found my hips, drawing me in closer. My own had clasped his shoulders, holding him still. The kiss was gentle, obviously from our inexperience, but also from the way Haru held me.

Eventually I pulled away, panting lightly as my ears pounded. My mind was muddled as I caught my breath. When I glanced back up at Haru, I realized that he was still staring at me, his eyes seeming bluer and brighter than before, quite oddly at that. Wordlessly, he pushed a rebellious strand of hair behind my ear. I figured Haru wasn't the touchy-feely type, especially how a grimace would miraculously form every time Nagisa found an excuse to pounce onto him—yet he was usually the one to initiate contact with me. It was strange. Haru was strange. This entire situation was strange, but I wasn't complaining. I sighed, leaning my head against his chest. I pictured him blinking in surprise when I heard my name quietly escape his lips. His _warm_, _soft lips._ "..Mamoru?"

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, the words muffled against his clothes, but I was sure he had heard either way. "I.. really mistreated you. You were only trying to help too. It must have been frustrating."

I felt his hand pat my head, and like that—the air of intimacy had dissipated. The usual comfortableness settled. "Don't worry about it." I heard him say. When I glanced up at him, that rare, small smile was tugging at the corner of his lips. It was slight, but it was noticeable. It seemed to light up his entire face, and I couldn't help but find it contagious.

Shit.

_He's.. really handsome—_

"Haru? Mamoru? What's taking so long?" Makoto's head poked in. "Dinner's read—.." He trailed off upon seeing us so comfy with each other. I tensed, untangling our limbs automatically upon being caught. My face was burning, so I could only imagine the complexion had matched it's temperature.

_What was that?_

I shook my head, shooting up and almost scurrying out of my room. "Food! Okay! Let's go, Makoto!" I snatched his wrist, pulling him towards the dining room—thoroughly ignoring his protests to slow down, my heart in my throat and my adrenaline pumping.

_What the hell was that?!_

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The next day Iwatobi had a joint swim practice with Samezuka—and since I was sentenced to walk home with Makoto everyday, I was forcefully dragged along by no other than the blonde devil otherwise known at Nagisa. I couldn't look Haru in the eye when I saw him again. This was weird. This was painfully awkward. It was worse since it was mainly one-sided. It seemed like I was the only one stressing over it. We had kissed. Now usually, I didn't regard kissing in high stature. It was a simple touch of the lips—but this was different. Just like it had been with Rin, although I hadn't put much thought into that past kiss. That was, as said, in the past. Something we both agreed upon to never bring up again. In plain truth, I had used Rin, and Rin had actually let me use him—but it hadn't worked.

I shook my head, why was I thinking about this now? I blanched, burying the memory away.

As I was saying, this was completely different with Haru. It wasn't out of a dare, or a messy collision of intoxication. It had left me feeling warm, but I wasn't uncomfortable. It was gentle, and soft, and—_and I sound like the freaking Notebook._

I sighed. While I firmly believed that I could live my life anyway I wanted—jumping into bed with one guy, then making out with another was not exactly my forte. I felt extremely guilty of using Rin to my own leisure, but he didn't regard it. He didn't seem to care. That was mostly because he didn't harbor feelings for me, and that's what made it _easier_.

_This—_this was different. We had both admitted that we consider the other important, but I had mostly meant that he was up there with Makoto. Did he mean the same thing? Had he meant different? Did he like me in _that_ sense? If so, did I like him? Were we just swept up in the moment—like two hormonal teens? Should I just stop thinking about it? I had said it myself—kisses were no particular big deal to me. Although this felt important. Perhaps Haru wasn't as flimsy as I was, and considers these types of acts quite meaningful? I wanted to be different. I didn't want to disregard anyone else's feelings again. Haru was important to me, just as Makoto was, and I didn't want to hurt him. _Either_ of them. I would have to set things straight, but had to wait for the right opportunity.

* * *

Rin smirked when the Iwatobi swim team had entered Samezuka pool room. His eyes instinctively fixated on Mamoru, who's gaze landed on his form instantaneously as well. She grinned, padding over to him. "Rinny—" His glare stopped her short, and she sheepishly laughed. "Still not used to it?"

"How could someone get used to such a ridiculous nickname." He growled.

"I think it's cute." She pouted.

"Says you."

She rolled her eyes. "Rinny-poo—"

"Oi! If you keep calling me that, I'll call you—" He thought for a moment."—_Tachibunny_."

She blinked, once, twice, then shrugged. "That sounds cute, actually." His smug face dropped. "I wouldn't mind it too much, Rinny-poo."

Before they could indulge into their thorough back and forth teasing-snapping complex they had, Seijuurou intervened with a joyful laugh. "Heya there, Mamoru-kun, Gou-kun!"

Gou was the only one out of the two who seemed bothered by the additional masculine 'kun' added to her name. "It's Kou, and please don't add 'kun' to the end of my name."

"Right, right!" He grinned.

"Sup Mikoshiba." Mamoru raised a hand to wave. He returned her welcome before diverting his attention solely on the female Matsuoka, to Rin's dismay. Mamoru snickered upon seeing Rin get annoyed before looking around curiously. "Hm? Where's Nitori-kun?"

Haru deadpanned at the hopeful expression on her face. "If he's not here, don't bother looking for him." She stiffened at hearing the swimmer's voice and sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck.

"I wasn't going to go looking for him or anything.." She was purposely avoiding eye contact, to Haru's annoyance.

He vaguely remembered their last conversation specifically on that topic. She had said it was merely a crush—even the others weren't concerned because according to Gou, they had only maybe _one_ real conversation. Still, he didn't like it. He had no idea what she saw in him. He had no idea if she saw anything in himself either. He hoped so. That kiss had been unexpected, and he had loosened his hold on his self-control momentarily, allowing himself to indulge in her presence for once. They were starting anew, weren't they? They cared about each other, and those weird feelings he's starting to recognize had whispered to kiss her. They cared about each other, so there ultimately shouldn't be any problem if they kissed, right?

Maybe even dated.

He blinked, that thought had caught him by surprise.

Haru was pretty in-tune with his feelings. He knew what he wanted, and what he didn't want. He knew what made him happy, and what didn't. He knew what he liked —and it was obvious that he liked Mamoru. She was familiar. She was warm. She was funny, and he enjoyed her when she was at her happiest. He knew what made her upset, and how to deal with her when that happened. He had even underwent her fits of anger recently. He knew he had the capabilities to take care of her properly, and he firmly believed only he would have to patience to put up with her. She was his childhood friend—even if she herself didn't remember the details.

'_Nitori-kun_' wouldn't be able to handle it once he knew the external extent of her baggage.

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	31. Chapter 31

**A/n: Whoa. Almost _100_ Reviews?! You guys are _awesome_. I really appreciate every single one of you. **

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 30 : Part II**

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I was trying to make myself useful. Seijuurou had directed me to a stack of folded towels when I had asked what I could do to help. It was obvious that I wasn't a swimmer, and I knew nothing about competitive swimming either—so my knowledge was a bare minimum. All I really knew was that you jump in the pool and start kicking your feet. Nagisa had said that each had a particular swimming style. He said mine was the doggy-paddle—which I didn't know if that was the truth or an insult when the others laughed. I thought as long as you were floating and moving your limbs in some sort of propelling motion, it really didn't matter. Of course, that was from me—someone who knew nothing about swimming.

My thought's were interrupted when another guy emerged from the pool and I held out my stack of towels as an offering. The unknown guy merely glanced at me, taking the towel at the top of the stack without so much as a 'thank you'. I sighed. So far, if it weren't for the Iwatobi guys or Rin and Seijuurou—no one actually _talked_ to me.

As if it were a jinx, another boy—who seemed maybe a year or two older than me—emerged from the pool. He sent me a smile and took a random towel, throwing it over his head and ruffling his hair. He was fairly average, with dark eyes and darker hair.

"Hi." He grinned. "Thanks for the towel."

"Hey, and no problem," I offered him a friendly grin. "It's what I'm here for."

He still stood where he was, and I could sense that he was one of those talkative people—the ones that easily made friends and what not. He hung the towel around his neck, his brown eyes brighter than I had taken them for. "So, you with Iwatobi?"

"Yeah." I answered vaguely. I wasn't exactly the greatest with new people.

"I didn't see you in the pool."

"I'm not a swimmer." I said sheepishly.

"Figures." He was still smiling. "You don't exactly have the muscles for it."

My eyebrow twitched. "Aren't you charming."

"I go by Prince Charming." He winked.

I rolled my eyes. He continued. "But otherwise known as Shouta Takehiro."

"Takehiro." The name rolled off my tongue easily. I smiled thinly at him. "It's Mamoru. But to you it's Tachibana."

"A guy's name huh?" He smirked. "You related to Captain Tachibana by any chance?"

"He's my cousin." I said, not liking the sudden smirk on his face.

"It's pretty ironic huh?" He smiled. "You being a girl—but having a guy's name. Your cousin having a girl's name—but he's a guy."

"You've made the discovery of a lifetime."

"You're really sarcastic."

"_Really_."

He laughed, as if what I had said was funny. I smiled a bit, finding my interactions with this Takehiro almost amusing. He seemed cocky, and awfully blunt, but at least he had a sense of humor. Hearing laughter, the other boy that hadn't said thanks skidded by, approaching us. "Hey, Takehiro." He acknowledged the other boy with a nod. "What's so funny?"

"Mamoru-chan." Takehiro jabbed a thumb in my direction. "She's Captain Tachibana's cousin."

"Don't call me by my first name, especially with the addition of 'chan'." I berated. He ignored me. The other boy that had joined us had onyx irises, and jet black hair. His eyes landed on me in curiosity—as if finally noticing that I was there. I gave him a blank look. He didn't thank me for that towel, nor had he even acknowledge my presence until now. His first impression wasn't the greatest.

"Oh." _Oh_. What the hell was '_oh_'?

"Mamoru-chan, this is my best friend—Takumi."

"Hi." Takumi blinked.

"..Hi." I looked away.

"Thank you for the towel."

I blinked, then my cheeks started to flush. What was with this guy? "O-oh.. no problem."

"Hey you're blushing!" Takehiro grinned. "Have you fallen for me already?"

"Head over heels." I retorted dryly. The brunette laughed, patting me one the back. Takumi smirked.

"So, Mamoru-chan!" Takehiro started. "If you're not a swimmer, are you a manager?"

"No. That's Gou's job."

Takehiro laughed. "Another girl with a guys name?! I think I'm seeing a pattern, huh Takumi?"

"Yeah." The raven smirked. "I wonder what that could mean."

"And they're both related to guys with girly names too!" Takehiro continued.

I rolled my eyes. "You're getting too excited over this." I sighed.

"Well," Takehiro ignored me again, which made my eyebrow twitch. "If you're not apart of the team, or a swimmer—what are you doing here?"

"Did you just come here to hand out towels?" Takumi asked a bit teasingly.

"Yes." My voice was flat. "I professionally hand out towels because I have no life."

"Haha!" Takehiro laughed, an arm slinking around my shoulders. "Isn't she great, Takumi?"

Takehiro was annoying. Takumi ultimately seemed socially retarded. I rolled my eyes for the second time that day, shaking off his long, muscular arm. "I have no choice but to be here." I sighed. "I have to walk home with my cousin everyday for a month, so I have to wait until he's done swim practice."

"Why?" The brunette pried, quite shamelessly.

"Because I'm grounded."

"Ohh. What did you do?!" He grinned in excitement.

"None of your business." I snapped. Takehiro pouted.

"You can't leave us on a cliffhanger." Said Takumi slyly.

"Well too bad, because that sequel is to be continued." I deadpanned.

"Hey, hey!" Another voice piped in. "What's going on, hm?" A new face showed up. Another older, overexcited male swimmer. He leaned forward.

"Kano!" Takehiro perked. "Meet Mamoru-chan, she's with Iwatobi!"

Why did this guy feel the need to introduce me to everyone?

"_Mamoru_-chan?" A new voice entered, another new face. "Isn't that a guys name—_oh_! Wait. Wait. It's cool, she's cute."

I flushed at the words, feeling my face heat up. What was _with_ these guys? Did they all have a sudden confidence boost when they grouped together—or were they naturally embarrassing and stupid?

"Aw. She's blushing again!" Takehiro cooed. "Don't tell me you've fallen for _Shino_ now?!" Well, _he_ was certainly naturally embarrassing and stupid, that was for sure.

"Yeah, because I fall for guys I don't even know." I grumbled. A wise person once said that sarcasm was the brain's natural defense mechanism to the stupid—which I wholeheartedly agree with that particular statement.

"So, you're with Iwatobi huh?" That Kano guy chimed in. "We're gonna beat you guys next year, just you wait."

"You should try telling me that again, but this time I'll try to care." I stared.

"You gonna _take_ that, Kano?" Shino grinned.

"Bitches always listen." I smirked playfully. I couldn't help it for some reason. Hanging out with idiots either repels me, or causes me to act like them. In this case it was a mixture of both.

"_Ohhh!_" The other three guys boasted. Takehiro threw an arm around my shoulders again, laughing loudly—to my mild annoyance. He was too touchy-feely for his own good.

Kano rolled his eyes. "_Whatever_."

A few more guys joined us, curiosity evident in their features. "What's the commotion about?" One of them asked.

"This is Mamoru-chan!" Shino grinned. "She's with Iwatobi."

"You know, I can introduce myself." I sighed.

"This isn't over!" Kano piped up with a challenging glare.

"When did it start?" I teased.

"You should join the swim team." Takehiro drew the attention towards himself again. It was no wonder how many guys surrounded us now. It was mostly Takehiro's radiance that naturally lured them like flies to honey. How I hadn't noticed him before was beyond me. He just seemed like a people person, even though he was a little annoying. Realizing he had asked a question, I finally answered.

"No thanks." I shook my head.

"Oh, are you too good for swimming?" Kano provoked. I could tell he was trying to rile me up, most likely because I had indirectly called him a bitch. I decided to bug him a little more.

"_Dude_." I lulled my head to send him a look, boredom written in my features. "Even if I was the worst swimmer on the earth—I'd _still_ be too good for _you_."

"_Ohh!_" The expanding group of guys boasted.

"Yo. I know you want me, Mamoru-chan." Said Kano with a cocky grin.

"Not even your mom wants you, bro." I rolled my eyes. That sent the boys into another frenzy, which was really amusing—their laughter quite contagious. Even Kano was trying to hide the small smile. I snorted, laughing loudly with the group of guys. This was fun. It almost made me feel like a kid again—

"Oi. What's going on." Snapped a voice. A familiar head of maroon contrasted with the everyone else's dark hair—making him stand out quite obviously. Rin was now here, glaring at the other guys. His sharp eyes landed on me and Takehiro, who were coming down from our laughing fit upon seeing the scowling male.

Seijuurou was behind him, an expectant look on his face. "Hey guys! Shouldn't you be _swimming_?"

Most of them scattered away, grumbling under their breath upon seeing Matsuoka and Captain Mikoshiba. The fun was over. Takehiro smiled, waving at his captain before glancing at me.

"See ya, Mamoru-chan! Gotta get back to practice!"

"'Kay." I waved absentmindedly, watching as he dove into the pool. Seijuurou walked off, seeing as his job of getting his teammates back to work was done. Rin lingered, sending me a disapproving glare. Haru neared too, mirroring Rin's dark gaze in a more inconspicuous manner. If I squinted, I could see thick, dark auras surrounding the two teens. They looked ready to skin me alive.

"'The _hell_ was that?" Rin snapped. He oddly resembled an angry housewife for some strange reason. Maybe it was because his arms crossed over his chest and his foot tapped incessantly onto the ground?

"What was what?" I blinked, still trying to hush away to image of Rin in an apron.

"Don't play dumb!" Rin's glare intensified.

"Why were you flirting with them?" Haru intervened smoothly. His eyebrows were furrowed, his blue eyes staring intently at me, calculating my every move, and every falter in my expression. If we were still making comparisons, he looked like an angry husband. The image of Haru in some business suit and a stereotypical suitcase came to mind. I would've snickered if the atmosphere didn't call for seriousness. For the life of me I couldn't fathom what they were so serious and angry about—I mean, I was just laughing. Where did _flirting_ come into the equation?

"I wasn't." The confusion in my face was evident. I wasn't flirting—if anything, I just made an entire group of _friends_. Well, kind of. Call me an attention whore, but I quite liked being surrounded by a group of people. They seemed fun—and their personalities were joyful. Their energy reminded me a lot of the people I used to hang out with back in America.

"You were flirting." Rin snapped. "I heard them."

"You heard _them_." I clarified. "You didn't hear _me_—so how do you know I was flirting?"

"Why did you let them flirt with you?" Haru took a step forward.

"They weren't flirting." I was getting defensive, and a glare was starting to form as a cause from it. "They were being friendly. Don't make it out to be something different please."

"Then why did that guy say you wanted him?" Haru pressed. "What did you say?" What were with all these questions? They make it seem as if I did something wrong. I didn't, did I?

My eyebrows drew together in thought.

No. I _didn't_.

"I didn't say anything." I frowned. "What's this all of a sudden?" I was getting upset. _I wasn't flirting. _And I didn't like being accused of such. Wasn't I allowed to make friends? "If it were a group of girls, you wouldn't be saying that."

Rin scowled. "But they're guys—and they're older than you. Their intentions are different."

"Oh my God." I scoffed. "Are you _serious_? _You_ _guys_ are older than me—are you saying your intentions towards me are different too? We're all friends. Why can't I be friends with other guys too?"

"You can be friend's with girls too." Haru added unhelpfully. That still didn't answer my original question. How come I couldn't be friends with other guys? I didn't think there was much of a difference. Most of the guys back home mainly thought of me as one of them. Because of that, dating wasn't really an option seeing as I was basically friendzoned for life. I had no doubt that the same would occur here. I mean, it had already happened with the Iwatobi guys. They didn't think of me as anything more than a casual friend—with the exception of Haru, that is. I was still very confused on that matter, and did not want to discuss it in public. Him also getting mad at me out of nowhere was not making our situation any less uncomfortable. It was really starting to bug me, to the point where I was bordering irritated. Since when did they have the right to get angry at me for hanging out with new people without so much as a _logical_ explanation?

"Do you see any girls here? And I'm sorry, but when did I need your _permission_?" I couldn't help the snappy tone I had. I mean, here they were demanding unnecessary questions that was bordering controlling. Why did they make it seem like I had to apologize? Why were they making me feel bad about it? I didn't see why I had to feel wrong because I was getting friendly with my peers. What was the big deal!

"We're not saying you need our permission." Rin huffed.

"Then why are you making it seem that way?" You know. If me hanging out with other guys was so concerning because of their supposed 'intentions', then why wasn't Makoto here to back that up? At least hearing what he had to say would make it seem more genuine and less jealous.

I blinked.

Were they.. _jealous_?

"Maa, maa! Mamo-chan, can you help me find Rei-chan's glasses?!" Nagisa budded in suddenly.

I sighed, not even surprise he had intervened, and figuring that helping Nagisa would be a nice break and the thankful space I needed to cool down and think logically. _Jealous?_ Pft. _Yeah right._ Why would Rin be jealous? Haru—maybe I could see happening—but _Rin_. _My_ Rin? **_Ha._**

"Oi. Nagisa, can't you see we're talking—"

"Rin-san, I think we should discuss swimming tactics." Rei suddenly appeared. "Haruka-senpai, too."

"I don't want to." Haru rejected bluntly.

"Haru-chan, can you help me stretch then?" Makoto smiled at his best friend. "I'd really appreciate it."

Haruka stared at the green eyed swimmer momentarily, then—unable to deny his best friend this one favor—he resigned. "Drop the 'chan'."

* * *

Rin scowled as Rei talked his ear off about nonessential calculations of the '_perfect dive_' and certain degrees he had missed when Rin usually dove in—which according to Speedo Glasses, it ranged by 2 to 5 degrees off most of the time. While he did value the other male's opinion to a certain extent, and while they did sometimes discussed swimming with each other to better improve their times—he wasn't in the mood for it _now_.

He still had some unfinished words with that damn idiot, Mamoru.

Did she really not care what other's saw? While he was all for individuality, bathing in the attention of random guys was not what he—**_she_ **would want. She didn't even know them, and she was giving them the impression that she was single and free and—well, she _was, _but that wasn't the point!

Even Haru didn't like it, so he had someone to back him up for _that_.

His jaw tightened. He was merely looking out for her. That was it.

If so, why hadn't Makoto done something as well?

Had he not felt that pinch of concern seeing his little cousin surrounded by a growing group of older guys? They could've taken advantage of her.. or.. —_or something!_

_No_. He refused to think he was jealous.

Haru had reacted the same way he did.

Unless.. Haru was jealous as well..?

No. He wasn't jealous. He wasn't imagining it. That damn Takehiro was popular for being a casual flirt. He dropped girls left and right without a care. He didn't want that type of trash too friendly with one of his closest friend's little cousin. He was sure the others would do the same if that bastard was hitting on Gou. It was second nature. You looked out for your friend's kin, right?

He was jealous.

"_Fuck_."

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	32. Chapter 32

**A/n: _PLEASE_ _READ_:**

**Good news and bad news. Bad news; tomorrow my internet is getting cut off. Good news; next month I'm visiting a family member for about 2 weeks, and they have internet, so if I bring my USB, I'll be able to upload new chapters through their computer. Also, since I'll have a lot of time on my hands, I'm probably going to use it to make another Free! OC fic. Most likely a Makoto/OC fic just because. So until then, you'll have to make due with this chapter ^^; (this was mainly the reason that I have been uploading almost everyday so that I could finish it, but it's drawling out longer than I expected)**

**Testing The Waters**

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**Chapter 31**

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It occurred to him that morning during his early run. He found Mamoru attractive. The discovery itself was not shocking, because she was fairly appealing in an average girl-next-door way. No—it was the intensity of which he thought she was attractive that was surprising. Her eyes, which used to remind him of Makoto, now resembled bright gems. Her hair, which was medium length, made him tempted to run his fingers through it, just once—as to see if it's texture matched it's looks. He wonder what she would look like in the morning, her hair a mess and her expression foggy from just waking up. He wondered what it would be like if they had sex under different circumstances. What it would be like if they did it out of romance, rather than impulsion. He bet that it would be amazing—and that thought definitely shook him.

These were dangerous thoughts—and he was trekking into dangerous waters that he'd rather not test.

But he couldn't help it, and if he had another moment to himself, he knew he would be thinking about Mamoru again.

So he blasted the volume of his music blazing into his eardrums, and he ignored the way his heart thumbed erratically when he pictured her stupid, goofy grin when she called him '_Rinny_-_poo_.'

But of course, luck was never really on his side.

"Oh! Rin, hey!"

Fuck.

He skidded to a halt, because she had already saw him and he couldn't pretend he didn't see her—especially since she was just ironically swimming in his mind moments ago. He was annoyed, not only because his exercise was being interrupted, but because it was _her_ that interrupted him.

But she was grinning, and it made his stomach do some weird flipping thing that he did not like at all. "What do you want." He spat. "I'm busy."

"Sheesh." She sighed. "Can't a friend say hello?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Doctor's check up."

He didn't pry. "Isn't Makoto supposed to be with you, then?" He looked away.

"Uh.." She scratched her cheek. "Not really. I mean, I didn't tell him anything. I just talked to my Uncle and he let me go by myself."

"Aren't you supposed to be grounded." He deadpan.

"Technically yes, but this is an exception." She shrugged.

"...Did you just come from there?"

"Yup." She smiled. "So I'm free right now. Do you want to walk me to the train station?"

_Yes_."You can walk yourself." He scoffed. _  
_

"I don't want to wait alone, especially when I just ran into you." She pouted.

Did that mean she wanted to spend time with him? Why was his heart thumping harder? He was being an idiot—getting so excited over words that didn't mean anything out of the ordinary.

"Tch." He looked away. "...It can't be helped."

"Great. Let's go then."

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He couldn't help but glance at her repeatedly as they awaited the train together. She seemed so nonchalant. How could she act so natural, considering they had done it? Was he the only one with these weird feelings that were left behind? He had heard girl's were mainly the ones that clung after experiencing what they did—but no, she was completely unfazed. Unable to stay quiet, especially when the opportunity had presented itself so blatantly, he cleared his throat.

"Oi.." His voice was much more cautious than he was expecting, and he inwardly cursed at himself. She glanced at him curiously, her pretty green eyes—_no_. Her eyes were normal! Why did he have to mentally add that flimsy word?! Unable to look her in the eyes with his mind so fizzled, he glanced away. When he wasn't facing her, he found it easier to speak. "Why are you acting so normal?"

"Huh?" She was confused. He didn't like explaining himself.

"Why are you acting so normal? It's aggravating, and _that's_ not normal."

It took a few minutes until it had dawned on her what he was speaking about, and he risked a glance. She was blinking rapidly, surprise evident in her expression. She looked down, her cheeks starting to flush in an interesting shade of red. "You.." She cleared her throat. "You said you didn't want it to be weird."

"But it is."

"I know."

He had to blink at that. "You know?" He repeated.

"You were my first, so it's not like I can just forget it so easily." She mumbled.

"Oh.."

"Yeah."

It was quiet. "_You've_ been acting weird though."

"Me?" He blinked.

"Yeah." She nodded. "I don't know how to explain it."

"I'm surprised you noticed." He grumbled. "What with you fawning over Haru all of a sudden."

"I don't fawn over anyone."

"Oh really."

"Yes really." She sent him a sharp look.

"Then what about Nitori? Or Haru? Or the group of guys the other day?"

"I _did_ have a crush on Nitori, but I haven't seen him in forever, _and_ I barely know him. That group of guys just didn't have anything better to do, and Haru is.. just a friend." He noticed the hesitation.

"Friends don't wipe each other's faces like some dotting mother."

"Friends also don't have sex with each other."

They both froze, having realized what she had just said. They were quiet again, this time the air mingled with awkwardness.

"H-hey.." She coughed. "We said we wouldn't bring it up, so pretend I didn't say anything. It was a slip of the tongue."

"We can pretend it didn't happen and that you didn't say anything, but it would still be awkward when we're alone."

"I'm sorry." She said suddenly.

He blinked, sending her a surprised glance. "Huh?"

"I said I'm sorry." She sighed. "This is my fault. If I hadn't pushed you, we wouldn't be like this." She frowned. "I'm also sorry for using you." She looked over at him so that they were eye-to-eye. "You didn't deserve that, and I was being selfish."

He didn't know what to say. He wasn't expecting any of that. His cheeks started to flush in a rosy, warm color and he looked away as to obscure his fluster. "I knew you were using me." He grumbled. "I'm not stupid. It was partly my fault too. I knew your intentions, but I still let you do it."

"Then why?" Her eyebrows were furrowed, confusion blatant in her eyes.

His jaw clenched, and he hesitated. He wasn't one to dwell on emotional things, and neither was she. He decided to avoid the topic. "I don't know. You looked so desperate." He cringed at how cold he sounded, and risked another peak at her expression.

She was calm. A wistful sigh. "So you took pity on me?"

He decided not to answer.

She sighed again."I'm still sorry."

"Yeah, yeah. I get it." He grumbled. "Stop apologizing."

"..Okay."

This time he sighed when he heard the quiet, dejected response. "What I meant was—"

She laughed a little. "It's fine." She glanced at him with a warm smile. "I appreciate your honesty."

He stared at her, and wondered vaguely why she was so strange. What about her that he found alluring. She wasn't out of the ordinary, and she was annoying—but for the life of him he couldn't find it in him to dislike her. With that thought in mind, he leaned forward, impulsively, unthinkingly—_so close he could hear the hitch in her breath and smell the faint scent of her shampoo_—

He stopped.

What was he doing?

_What the hell was he doing?!_

She was frozen stiff.

He jerked away, having realized how close he was to her. He shot up from the bench, muttering to himself. "I gotta go."

"R-Rin!" She blurted in surprise.

The realization was cruel and unadulterated. Like slamming into a wall of bricks.

He left—no he ran. As far and as quick as he could from that train station and from her.

.

Why did it have to be _Mamoru_?

He scowled to himself.

It made sense although. All these weird feelings, the lashing jealousy. He knew doing it with her was a bad idea, but knowing what he knows now, he would've never consider it back then. He should've just kicked her out. But would it have made a difference? If she didn't go to him, would she just give up—or would she have looked for comfort in someone else? But she had said that he understood her feelings—which he did. Did anyone else understand at the time, or was it just him? Would she have used some other poor sucker? If she did, would they be feeling what he was feeling now?

He didn't have time for silly crushes.

This fuzzy feeling was unwelcome and foreign and was also _not_ in his schedule.

_Mamoru?_

**_Seriously?_**

What made it worse was that he was dangerously close to kissing her and had ran away. How uncool could he have _been_?

This was a disaster.

.

The extent of the disaster became a reality when Makoto insisted that he come over along with Haru to study together. Both Haru and Makoto were horrendous at English—and the thought of 'why didn't you ask Mamoru' came to mind and was voiced. Makoto had said that she didn't want to do it and used her punishment of grounding as a cryptic excuse. His eyebrows furrowed. She was just being a lazyass.

When he had arrived, she was nowhere to be found—to his curiosity and relief.

Although he did see her come out once, poking her head into Makoto's room.

"What is it, Mamo-chan?" Her cousin asked with his usual smile.

"I'm bored." She complained with a simple blink.

"You said it yourself, you're grounded." Haru spoke up blankly.

She sighed loudly. "But I'm _bored_." She was sulking. "I can't even watch tv!"

"Did you do your homework?" Makoto asked.

"Sort of.." She bit her lip. "Kinda.. _no_."

Rin had to roll his eyes. "Then go do it. There's something to do."

"Ew, no."

At the glare she received, she laughed. "I can't concentrate when I'm alone unless I'm interested."

"Then why don't you do it here?" Makoto suggested. "I'm sure my parents would make an exception when they realize you're doing school work."

"She'll only bug us." Haru said.

"I agree." Rin scowled.

"_Hurtful_." She pouted from the doorway. "See this is why I love Makoto the most."

Said boy chuckled at the other's expressions.

"I promise I won't do anything to bug you!" She slumped. "I'm just bored and need human interaction."

"That would be bugging us." Haru looked over his shoulder.

She huffed. "How would you know, hm?"

"Because I know you." He said without a blink.

She looked away dramatically. "You know my name.. but you do not know my story.."

"You're such a loser." Rin stared at her with a funny expression.

"I believe the correct pronunciation is '_awesome_', good sir."

"In what country."

"In my country."

"Which is?"

She thought for a moment, and coming up with no smart-ass retort, she huffed. "Do not question the awesome, you peasant."

His eyebrow twitched. "What did you call me?"

"A pea-_sant_." She enunciated deliberately.

He threw his book at her and she giggled childishly when she ducked. Makoto smiled and Haru sighed, but they weren't displeased to hear the sound. She shifted, bending to retrieve the book and flipped it open. She finally trotted inside fully and plopped down beside Haru. She sniffled to herself before tossing the book back to Rin, who caught it effortlessly with a small grimace. They continued studying, and Mamoru quietly watched in absent interest.

It was 10 minutes until she sniffled again before sneezing into her forearm. Haru glanced at her momentarily.

He place a cool hand to her face, the temperature of her flesh scorching in comparison. She blinked at him tiredly and his eyebrows furrowed. "You're getting sick?"

This time Makoto glanced in worry. "Are you okay, Mamo-chan?"

"'M fine." She shrugged. "I'm not sick or anything."

"Have you been sleeping with the window open again?" Makoto asked with a frown.

"It's hot at night." She only said.

"You're face is hot. Do you have a fever?" Asked Haru quietly.

"Stop worrying, I'm fine." She smiled, although did nothing to remove the back of his hand from her forehead. He finally moved it away with a small frown.

"If you're sick, you better leave." Rin scowled. "None of us want to catch your germs." He was suddenly bitter. He didn't like it when she got so comfy with Haru—and they weren't even phased. They had no idea what it looked like to bystanders. He glanced at Makoto, to see him smiling knowingly—a fond look in his eyes as he turned away from the two. So he did notice it—he just did do anything. Or rather, he didn't want to. Rin's scowl deepened.

"Rin's right." Haru said. "You should go rest."

She sighed. "But I'm bored there."

"Then try to sleep."

"I'm not tired."

"Did you try?" He rose a brow.

"Well—no, but.."

"Then go."

"Jesus. You two sound like a married couple." Rin piped up, his irritation only increasing.

They blinked and glanced at the redhead simultaneously. Haru looked away, and Mamoru flushed—laughing it off easily. "If that were the case then Haruka's the wife."

"Why am I the wife? You're the girl."

"Well, you're always fussing like one, and you know how to cook."

"I don't fuss."

"Yeah you do, you just try to hide it." Her face suddenly went blank, her voice deepening purposely. "I only swim free~" Haru sent her an annoyed look, and Rin smirked.

"Hey, don't be mean." Makoto said, although tried to hide chortles of laughter behind his hand. Haru's annoyance only intensified to see his best friend laughing, and he sent a pointed look at him.

She snickers. "Okay, okay. I'm leaving." She raised her hands up in surrender. She pounced onto Makoto from behind, clinging to his back like a monkey and kissing his cheek quickly. "Night Mako."

He smiled when she pulled away. "Goodnight Mamo-chan."

.

.

.


End file.
